Ordinary Time

It is a very good thing to teach your children to bake. This means that when you come in from the barn having finished morning chores that more often than not you are greeted with some freshly baked item just waiting for you. Today, L. made a pumpkin spice cake with pecans. It was very good. I can't think of a better way to start the day along with a good cup of coffee. (OK, in full disclosure, that would be the second or third cup of morning coffee. The first happens before I have even gotten out of bed.) Then, it is equally often that some child will make cookies for tea time. Not today, but we did have cookies for the past three days, so I can't really complain.  And sometimes, you even get something for dessert for after dinner. Today G. made a flourless chocolate cake with a chocolate frosting. I didn't get a picture of it, sadly, but it was very good. G. was thrilled to have mastered making meringue which the recipe requires.  Y. and K. are equally able to decide to b

Don't worry, I did make a meal plan for the week and went to the grocery store today. If I don't, things can become dire around here. I have a lot of hungry people in my house who are kind of used to having dinner every day. What I really want to know, my dear readers, is if you care. It is not great reading. (Actually it's hardly reading at all.) I am merely listing things and not giving any recipes (usually). Is having our weekly meal plan written out useful or interesting or has the novelty run its course? I think you can probably tell I am feeling very unexcited by posting it each week. But, if there are enough people who actually read it and make use it of, I'll continue. I just have a sneaking suspicion that this isn't the case.  So, my comment-phobic readers, now's your chance. If you really want the meal planning posts to continue, let me know, otherwise, I'm sure I can come up with something else to write about. 

Let's pretend it's Friday, okay? Then we can have two Fridays this week which seems lovely. The last five family members got their first Covid vaccine a few days ago. They will be fully vaccinated by the middle of July. I feel as though this is going to be a huge weight off my shoulders. That said, I'm not looking forward to R. getting her second shot. Having a sore arm was triggering enough, I have no idea what to expect from the second one. As a side note, we are becoming more and more aware that illness and pain are two or R.'s biggest triggers and when we can expect some challenging behavior. At least we have something to work with and can begin the process of helping her to understand what is actually going on with her body. I am still sore from my fall last week. Some chairs are just more uncomfortable to sit in than others, and I really can't sit still for too long or I regret it. I'm pretty sure I had a mild concussion, too. On that front I'm feeling

I think I may rename my computer Lazarus, because here it is working again after not being able to stay on for more than a couple of seconds yesterday. I don't get it. Clearly, it is on it's last leg, and we're going to be biting the bullet and ordering me a new one. I guess I cannot put it off any longer.  But since we are here, I'll take advantage of it, and do some processing in my virtual, not-so-private, journal. I don't know if I need validation or just to write it all out or what... or maybe I'm wrong, if so we can go there, too. Here goes... Earlier today, I was commenting on a post by a mother who was struggling with the ugly, screaming words her child uses towards her when stressed. I have a little experience with this sort of thing, after all. One of the comments indicated to me that she [the parent] seemed to hold the belief that this behavior was a choice of her child's. When you believe your child is making a conscious choice to behave a certai

My computer seems to have truly died. I can turn it on, but it won't stay on. Most annoying. That means I am writing this on my phone which is less than optimal. Until I can get a new computer, which really does need to be rather immediately, don't expect a whole lot of blogging.  My love/hate relationship with technology continues.

At least this seems to be all K. needs to keep him occupied for hours at a time, though to be completely honest I should have added Legos to the list. K. has been keeping very busy (as in every waking moment) building Star Wars ships with Legos, drawing Star Wars scenes, and just today, he has branched out to building Star Wars helmets with cardboard. He thought everyone would want to see his creations, so I'm happy to oblige.  First some of his drawings. (He is very prolific, so he just chose a few.) I'm of the firm opinion that if you know what these are drawings of, then you know, if you don't, me telling you won't make any difference. Besides, I have no idea. He draws them, he shows them to me and tells me what they are, and I appreciate them. He might as well be speaking a different language for all I get out of his descriptions. Here is his creation from today. G. and L. were cleaning their room and unearthed a treasure trove of cardboard boxes which K. quickly ac

I'm not going to post this week's menu because it is not terribly inspiring. I wasn't feeling very excited about cooking this week, so we are having meals I don't need a recipe to cook. Spaghetti... taco salad... a couple of curries... you get the idea. It's not scintillating reading under the best of circumstances, this week felt as though it would be too boring to even write, much less read.  Instead, I'm going to talk about how I'm [not] a blogging failure. Recently, I've had some targeted ads pop up which have to do with blogging. Many of them are advertising ways to start a blog, or make your blog better, or how to make money from your blog, etc., etc. I've been blogging for fifteen years, it seems a bit odd that they are just popping up now. I wonder what I clicked on to make me a target. Whatever.  One of the ads was titled, "How to not be a blogging failure," or something like that. I was curious (or bored at the moment), and since

a new riding helmet because I cracked mine today when the horse I was riding (not one of mine) bucked me off. I'm okay, though I think I may be a bit sore in the morning (actually, I know I will be sore in the morning because I'm sore right now), and my head is okay because I was wearing a helmet and it did its job. (PSA -- Please, please, please, if you ride horses, wear a helmet. You just never know when your horse is going to lose its mind due to whatever reason and off you go. Brains are too important to mess around with.) I must have slid farther in the arena gravel than I thought I had because when I was taking off my belt and breeches later in order to clean up, I seem to have brought a good portion of the arena with me. So, it was an exciting morning.  It is our 30th wedding anniversary, so J. and I went out to dinner. (Two times in one month! After the past year and a half, it feels like an outrageous luxury.) Then, because it was too early to go home, we went and wand

Some of you might have heard that the Chicago area had a rash of tornado outbreaks last night. We are fine, though one of them did touch down a few miles north of us. I'm pretty sure we experienced a few minutes of derecho winds, though. It was incredibly loud in the middle of it all. Poor Kenzie was a wreck and ended up peeing in the house because he just couldn't bring himself to go outside. (This is the dog who will never have an accident inside. Ever.) But our biggest clue that we had some unusually strong winds was seeing this in the morning when we had daylight to see. This is was the gutted trailer that has been sitting around ever since W. decided he couldn't fix the leak and then turn it into a tiny house. We hadn't been quite sure what to do with it. Now, it looks as though we'll be calling someone our neighbor knows who can cram it into a dumpster. This was the only damage from the storm; nothing else was touched. Well, some tree branches, but when you ha

D. turned 18 today. In my head this might have been a bigger deal if I hadn't kept forgetting for the past six months or so that he wasn't already 18. But in real life, this is a big deal. It was a low key birthday. We'll be getting him things for his dorm room, but he doesn't know quite what that is going to entail at the moment. He eventually chose cherry chicken salad for dinner, but we kind of all forgot about a birthday dessert, so we punted and had ice cream sundaes. Don't let the size of the celebration let you imagine that this son of mine isn't hugely important to me. I love him to pieces and am so proud of who he is. Happy birthday, D.!

So instead, enjoy this picture of Bristol with sticky notes on her. Those are labels from a session in my horse classes where we learn the parts of a horse and then label them. Bristol loves this class because she grazes on grass she normally doesn't have access to while we do our learning and labeling. 

J. took a few days off this week, so I am not quite sure what day it is. Yesterday felt a bit like Friday, today felt a bit like Saturday, I have no idea what tomorrow is going to feel like. First, you have got to see the ridiculous fly mask we got for Vienna. She's hard to buy for because she has a little tiny face, but not quite so tiny as a mini. Even if you get her pony sized items, they're still a little big. Because her little ears don't even come close to filling up the ear space, the ears on the mask just flop about as she walks. I loved the few days this week where it was in the seventies with low humidity. That was far better than this ninety and humid business we had today. But I am still incredibly thankful it is not the 119 that you in Phoenix are having! I've done that and really don't feel the need to do it again. We now have a bridle for Vienna, so girls spent some time riding her this morning, including Y. and R. This is P. leading and Y. riding. (S

Yesterday during tea time, we were reading out on the back porch and H. was drawing with chalk as I read. H. is often drawing, so didn't think much about it. Later that evening, J. points to the back porch and asks who drew the picture that was there. Because I paid so little attention, I had absolutely no idea. L. confirmed it was H.'s drawing. I can't believe I hadn't noticed this... I pretty much love everything about it except that it is done with sidewalk chalk in an area which receives heavy traffic, so it won't be there for too long.  H. has always been drawn to color, even at her most stressed and disassociated. In the back of my head, in moments of optimism, I would wonder if she might not somehow become an artist. At that time, the whole thing seemed more than far-fetched. It was like my own personal fantasy that I would sometimes get out and ponder. Between this and some of her other recent art work, it doesn't seem quite so far-fetched to me now. Now

It's late, so I'll jump right in. Tuesday, June 15 (G., L., and B.'s birthdays) Lentil dal Naan Store bought red velvet cake Wednesday, June 16 Chicken burgers      J. was taking many people to a Kane County Cougars' game, so we needed a fast and easy dinner so they could get out the door in time. Tater tots Thursday, June 17 Macaroni and cheese Sauteed spinach Friday, June 18 Spicy Moroccan style chicken and lentil soup      Yes, this was on last week's menu, but one night we ended up having pizza for dinner because it was that kind of a day, so this is being recycled to this week. French bread Saturday, June 19 Chicken chilaquiles      A new recipe from my favorite Mexican cookbook Spanish rice Sunday, June 20 (D.'s birthday) I have no idea. D. is still thinking about what he wants for his birthday dinner.  Monday, June 21 (J.'s birthday) Grilled steak salad Homemade rolls

Today is G., L., and B.'s birthdays. We gave B. his presents on Sunday when he was here, but G. and L. wanted to wait for their presents until the actual day. They decided between them that they wanted lentil dal and naan for dinner with a store bought cake. (They chose red velvet.)  How can they be twelve?! Weren't they just this big? Alas, they are not. And then there were gifts. G. says thank you to Grammy for the CD player. (Because you need to be able to listen to your recorded books on the go.) And L. says thank you to Grammy for the very large plastic dragon which is the thing she very much wanted. Happy Birthday, my three birthday sharers. I love you!!

Everyone was here for much of the day to celebrate June birthdays. There was badminton and volleyball and water balloons and slip and slides. We only missed TM. No, we didn't take any pictures. We're not always good about that. Someone is going to have to step into TM's shoes while he is gone or whole months will cease to be documented. I feel incredibly blessed that all of my children get along so well together.  But that's not really what I want to write about tonight. I was reading the book, The Enchanted Hour: The Miraculous Power of Reading Aloud in the Age of Distraction by Meghan Cox Gurdon, when I came across the results of a study that I find stunning. I'm not surprised, but the degree to which they support what I have been advocating for years is significant.  The set-up for the study was that researchers had children hooked up to a fMRI machine to see what their brains were doing when being read to in various forms. The first had the children listening t

As I mentioned yesterday, I've been reading a lot of non-fiction. I'll often come across interesting things that might make a good blog post, but then I either forget or decide to write something else. I never seem to get back to those interesting things because I've moved onto something else. I decided to share a few books that I've read recently that I think are very much worth your time to read. I'll write about them in the order in which I read them. The first is The Making of Biblical Womanhood: How the Subjugation of Women Became Gospel Truths by Beth Allison Barr. Upfront I'll say that I held a complementarian view of men and women for a long time, even arguing for it at various times. I'll also say upfront that there have always been some aspects of it that have troubled me, especially as I have watched it be used in various relationships to be pretty dysfunctional at best and abusive at worst. I'm perfectly willing to say I have been wrong and

It has felt like a whirlwind of a week and I'm very glad it's Friday. Currently the rest of the month seems little more sane, which makes me happy. We have finally ordered the rest of the things we need for Vienna... bit, bridle, fly boots, fly mask. I'm happy we already had a saddle, girth, and pads that work because a saddle is definitely a higher cost item. I'm excited for some of my riding students to be able to have lessons on her. So is Bristol, who is not a huge fan of lead line lessons. Do you remember when we tried to have barn cats and it all ended tragically ? I pretty much said never again because it was too emotionally taxing. It also meant that our barn has become a virtual rodent paradise. So imagine my utter delight when I opened the people door on the barn yesterday to discover a rather large garter snake there ready to greet me. I'm not being facetious, I was genuinely thrilled. Garter snakes are friendly, they eat rodents, I am unlikely to become

Here's a question I'd like everyone to ponder. Why, in parenting, do we so often assume that a child's behavior is something they need to fix and not something we need to fix in ourselves?  This question seems to be at the root of all sorts of different parenting methods. The more consequence-based methods make an assumption that there is something wrong with the child, and if we are good parents and set appropriate boundaries and consequences, we can get the child to see the error of their ways and make the changes that are needed for a calm and peaceful household. This view says that the adults in a child's life are always right and must be obeyed. If you are talking to a conservative (or often self-described as a Bible believing) Christian, they will add that this need for obedience on the part of the child is dictated by Scripture.  A more connected parenting approach says that obedience is not the focus of a relationship but the attunement between between and child

I was right. I am totally done in after a very full day, much of it spent outside in the heat and humidity. So, without further ado... Tuesday, June 8 Cherry chicken salad      This is one of our favorite summer salads. I had cooked chicken in the freezer (which really never happens) and there were dried cherries on sale, so that made it an easy choice. Rolls Wednesday, June 9 Creamy chicken and fig curry      This was a new recipe from Made in India by Meera Sodha. It was very good, even if we didn't use dried figs because I couldn't find them but used date paste instead because that was what we had. Basmati Rice Green beans with mustard seeds and ginger      Also from the same cookbook. Thursday, June 10 Spiced cauliflower with ziti      Another new recipe, this time from my favorite Italian cookbook, The Italian Country Table . Salad Friday, June 11 Grilled hamburgers      I picked up a bunch of premade meat patties on sale a while back. Garlic potatoes Saturday, June 12 Coc

Yesterday was my birthday, so I took a day off from writing and J. and I went out to dinner instead. It was the first time we've been out to dinner all by ourselves in about a year. It was definitely needed. I also usually post the weekly menu on Tuesday, but I'm going to save that for tomorrow. It's going to be a wickedly busy day, and by the time I get to the end of it, writing out a menu might be the only thing I am capable of. Besides, I've had this topic that I'm going to write about tonight roiling around in my head for a while. Among the many ways adoptive parents are not appropriately educated about adoption, one is standing out to me recently. So often I hear about parents who are shocked and angry or shocked and devastated by the words their children throw at them. (And really, this can go for biological children as well.) I'm thinking phrases such as, "I hate you!" or "You're not my real mom!" or "I wish you would die!&quo

The North American Council on Adoptable Children (NACAC) holds a conference each year about adoption topics. Some of the keynote speakers at this year's conference have had a huge impact on our family, informing how we parent and connect with our children... Ross Greene ( The Explosive Child ), Dan Siegel ( Mindsight and The Whole-Brain Child ), and Bryan Post ( mainly through his videos ) have helped to change how we view parenting and our relationships with our children. They were all voices speaking into our family and helping our children heal. I may never meet any of them in person, but if I do, the first words out of my mouth will be thank you.  This is probably why I am so excited that the film maker behind the documentary about our family is exhibiting at the conference this year. It feels a little like I'm just one step removed from being in contact with people I admire and whose work I recommend. If you are an adoptive family or considering it, I would highly recomm

I was told that I had neglected a most important item on yesterday's post of the weekly highlights, so I am correcting that now.  On June 1, Olive turned four years old. Notice Olive's fancy nails in honor of her birthday. (A. ... I never noticed how well Olive coordinated with your floor!) And since it was Olive's birthday, it also means it was Emmy's birthday as well. She turned 23. This is a picture from a month ago, so she didn't get special birthday photos. I'm also realizing she didn't even get a birthday carrot. I will have to do something about that.