Ordinary Time

I have trained my children when calling at odd hours to greet me with, "I'm okay" before saying anything else (assuming they are) because that allows my nervous system to begin ratcheting down. So I am giving you the same consideration.  Y. and I were heading to the library late this afternoon. To get to the library we have to cross a road where people tend to drive very fast. I am always careful at this intersection because there are a lot of accidents at it. Today I wasn't careful enough because as I was crossing, a car seemed to appear out of nowhere and t-boned us. No one was killed, which I think is important to note, because I'm my shock-filled mind immediately after the crash, I was pretty sure someone must be because of the level of impact.  We are very, very grateful that neither Y. nor I were injured past some sore muscles and bruises. It could have been so much worse given the state of the vehicles.  The car, our good car, is totaled. I was given the ti

Sometimes I write a long reply to a question somewhere else and realize it might be of more general interest. Here is the most recent instance where I was replying to a question of how to navigate parenting when the adolescents in question are less than kind. ___ I currently have five teens at home, with seven others having passed through those years with us all living to tell the tale. The short story is, parenting teens is hard. Full stop. They are essentially toddlers with better vocabularies which they can use with knife-like precision... when they aren't grunting. There's rarely a middle ground with teens in anything. My advice is going to sound a little backwards, so keep going to the end. It makes sense, I promise. There are a few ways to make these years more manageable. Note I am talking managing, not fixing. Only time and eventual brain growth can do the fixing bit.  Number 1: Care less. (See, I said it was different.) This is not the same as love them less, it's

As you know I read a lot of books about the brain and emotional health. At some point I came across reference to a book called Lost Connections: Why You're Depressed and How to Find Hope by Johann Hari. (I have no idea what the librarians make of my book requests.) Even though the title does not give you the sense that this is going to be a rollicking good read, it actually turned out to be one of the most hopeful books that I have read.  The basic premise is that depression and anxiety are not caused by chemical imbalances in the brain and antidepressants are only able to actually help to a limited degree. (I know this is a radical for people if it's the first time you're hearing it, but the science behind the claim is exceedingly strong.) Instead, depression and anxiety are normal reactions to abnormal circumstances.  The author has narrowed down these abnormal circumstances to disconnection from meaningful work, from other people, from meaningful values, from childhood t

I am currently sitting in the Planning Commission /Zoning Board of Appeals meeting. You know, the one where you present how you want to pave over acres of open land so that semi-trucks can enlarge their habitat at the expense of, well, everyone else. Writing this letter seems more productive than screaming in frustration and interrupting your nice, tidy meeting.  Sugar Grove, you are not being a good neighbor. Your consultants mentioned several times that they took the opinions of Sugar Grove residents very seriously. They did not want industry or truck traffic near their homes. They wanted to maintain open land and create walkable connections between their communities. I can understand those desires. It might come as a surprise to you, but other people, not only those living within the borders of your fair village desire those good things, too. This goes a long way to explain why so many non-Sugar Grove residents are so very angry and disappointed.  You see, in order to still take in

Long time readers will recognize a couple of these people... now grown up members of the P. family and the H-S Family .  They grew up together, though now they are adults living their adult lives in different places. I used to refer to them by their age, but this doesn't work so well anymore. In the top picture, from the left is, of course, W. Then adult child from the H-S Family in the middle and adult child from the P. Family on the right.  They are still very good friends and it makes me happy to see them together again. 

Coming home from co-op this afternoon, we had NPR on the radio. A spot came on discussing the SpaceX launch today... about how the rocket took off and then four minutes later exploded. At least it was unmanned. Everyone was listening with half an ear as the announcer discussed how the SpaceX team considered the launch a success.  At that statement I could feel everyone in the car sit up a bit to listen more carefully because a rocket blowing up four minutes after takeoff didn't seem particularly success to the children in the car. And then the announcer commented that the SpaceX team saw what happened four minutes after launch to be "a rapid unscheduled disassembly before stage separation." The van occupants proceeded to erupt in laughter and suggesting that it sounded like something Jasper Fforde would have written, meaning that they found it to be an excellent bit of unintentional satire.  Now, I do not care for Elon Musk in the least, but I can appreciate a team who se

Just in case anyone has any illusions that I always have it all together.... We are at 8:45 tonight because dinner took far longer to cook than I had anticipated.  I'm tired. I'm grumpy. I'm going to read a book and go to bed. That's my post.

I know I write a lot about emotional connection, but that is not where I'm going with this post. Instead I want to write about connection in learning. A week or so ago I mentioned the public speaking course I've been listening to while I walk in the mornings. The teacher is so good! She is a law professor, and while the course isn't focused on law students, she references her law experience. I don't want to be a lawyer, but this woman is so interesting that she makes me want to go to law school. Well, sort of. I'd actually like to just take more classes from her. One of the things I enjoy is her wide use of references to make her point. I love learning things other than just the topic at hand. So far she has referenced historical figures (from Socrates to Lou Gehrig) and events (from the Triangle Shirtwaist fire to the trial surrounding Micheal Jackson's death), acting, music, and neuroscience. It's pretty wide ranging, which suits me quite well. I find the

I didn't have anything to share last week because I just didn't get much chance to do much making. This week wasn't much better. So I have just a few things to share  The biggest one is that I finished weaving what I had on the loom. This is in a pile, but it's two dish towels in different patterns. I'll get them hemmed and washed this week then send them off to their intended recipients.  This also means that I need to measure a new warp (correctly this time) so that I can finally weave the set of napkins and a third dish towel. Because it's going to use the exact same threading on the loom, I'm going to try to tie on my next warp so that I don't need to rethread. So before I cut off the finished pieces I looked up to see how that works. I'm glad I did, because it seems that weaving a bit to leave on the loom makes the whole process easier. So I did that. (I don't think my flash went off.) This is the bit of weaving that I left on the loom. And

Over the years I have been told over and over and over how patient I must be. Patient to have as many children as I do. Patient to homeschool them all. Patient to have children with learning challenges. Truly, I just laugh because patient is not usually a word I use to describe myself. (My family will probably also attest to my ability to be massively impatient.)  And then it occurred to me the other day, I think this is one of those times when I and other people are talking about very different things but using the same word. What I think the word means is often not the way others are using it.  Patience, to me, is waiting calmly for something. I am challenged by this. I like anticipated events or milestones to come quickly. I was so very impatient waiting for K. to come home that I was probably a week away from signing up for kickboxing. (My appliances probably wish I had gone ahead and done it sooner.) I wasn't any more patient waiting to bring R. and Y. home. My (not so) little

I was all set to write a post with actual content tonight, but TM and a friend dropped by so my writing time was spent with them. Plus, TM brought me my favorite dish from our wonderful local Vietnamese restaurant , so it was a double treat. (I'm very much looking forward to lunch tomorrow!) I love that my adult children just drop by every so often.  Tomorrow will now be the post with actual content, and another bonus is that I won't sit down and stare at the screen wondering what I should write about. A win, for me at least, all the way around.

I'm not even really sure what all happened this week. I'll see what I can remember. The weather has been amazing. It's been pretty much summer for the past few days. Everything has budded out and greened up. The peonies are even up. At this rate they will all bloom in May and not June. It's also a little odd. But there's snow in the forecast on Monday, so we're not quite to actual summer  The horses who have not completely shed their winter coats all seem rather sweaty.  The garden bed cleaning continues. There are only two out of twelve vegetable beds that need to be weeded now. My children have worked hard and been fantastically helpful. I finally had a moment this week to do some gardening. With H. and R.'s help we nearly have the long flower garden that runs the whole length of the house cleaned up. It's off because usually I get things trimmed before the bulbs really start coming up, but it's been so warm they are all up and blooming. I hadn'

  This is a 2023-2024 calendar that I just bought today. One doesn't like to rush into these things, you know. But I realized today at one of R.'s appointments that I didn't actually have a calendar that went far enough into the year to make a new one. I guess it was time. So R. and I headed over to the office supply store and I invested in a new calendar. I guess life really will continue past June. 

You ever have one of those moments where you were happily looking forward to your official spring break because the weather promised to be glorious and there was very little on the calendar only to turn your calendar page to see that your is actually more jam packed than usual? And not only are you not going to be leisurely cleaning out garden beds, but you are going to be playing catch-up most of the week because you had lost an entire week in the month? I had one of those moments on Sunday night. It was not good. But those garden beds really did need to get done because if I want to plant all that I have planned, I need to use every moment of the two weeks of May I have available until I go out of town. Plus, we are planning on hosting a dinner for out of town guests the Friday before W. and MC's post-Covid wedding celebration. It would be nice to have the yard in decent shape before then.  I'll admit to a little bit of overwhelm happening.  But I don't have a household o

I am reading Lost Connections: Why You're Depressed and How to Find Hope by Johann Hart, not because I am depressed but because I am fascinated by the current brain research behind depression and anxiety (they are nearly the same as far as the brain is concerned.) It is fascinating. Probably one of the most interesting brain books I have read in a while.  Setting aside the incredibly bizarre and infuriating section on SSRI's and how pharmaceutical companies bring drugs to market (which personally, I think every single person should read), I want to focus instead on my favorite topics of felt safety and connection.  "In just a decade ... [between 1984 and 1994] ... across the Western world, we stopped banding together at a massive rate, and found ourselves shut away in our own homes instead. We dropped out of community and turned inward, Robert [Putnam, author of Bowling Alone] explained when I [the author] spoke with him. These trends have been happening since the 1930'

We had a lovely Easter, complete with absolutely gorgeous weather. Dinner was at J.'s sister's house with many cousins and aunts and uncles. We had everyone from our part of the family there minus D. (Whom we missed. It's the downside of going away to school.) Here is the one very unposed photo of some of our people. If you hadn't noticed, we're not good with photos, especially posed ones. It's probably from too many years of having too many children who object heartily to the process. But be assured we had a great time with family even without photos. Plus, everyone got to congratulate B. and HH on their engagement and look forward to see everyone again next month at W. and MC's post-Covid wedding celebration. This is all a huge plus of children getting older. Happy Easter everyone!

That season where the forsythias bloom, horses shed... flower beds get weeded, and children get engaged. B. asked his long time girlfriend to marry him today and she accepted! We are beyond thrilled. Meet HH, whom you have probably seen in other family photos. We love her and are so happy to have her join the family.  (And sorry to add to the whole initial confusion. These are the things you don't think about when you start a blog when you only have five children. Especially when you can no longer make the unique initial letter work.)

This will be the second day in a row of no real post. Last night J. and I were able to go out to dinner by ourselves which was lovely. I cannot remember the last time we were able to do that. Tonight? I'm pooped. I didn't do a huge amount today, so I'm not sure why, though helping move the 100 bales of hay into the barn, taking three teens to get their hair cut and then taking the same three to shop at the thrift store might have something to do with it. Maybe I'll have something to say tomorrow.

My treadmill walking continues. Part of it is that I paid for the thing, so gosh darn I'm going to use it. But really the bigger piece is watching lectures I find interesting. At one point a few weeks ago, I was in between lectures and hadn't found one that piqued my interest at that moment. The time between finishing one and finding another? Well, I went for multiple days in a row without turning on the treadmill. So really, when it comes right down to it, I only use the machine because I limit myself to that 45 minutes of listening to online classes and it is really only the classes that keep me coming back. I always suspected that this would be the case, but my little experiment does seem to confirm it. I have learned that when I finish one course I really need to find the next one before the next morning or else I won't be walking.  All of this is leading up to what I wanted to share from the course I was listening to this morning. (How toe Speak Effectively in Any Sett

I'm pretty sure I have at least one other post with the same title, but I'm trying to be SEO friendly and I can't think of a different one.  Once again, due to tragic events in our country, I'm seeing a huge increase in the amount of people interested in homeschooling. I have written a lot over the years about what homeschooling is, how to make it work, and pitfalls to avoid. Instead of listing each post separately (which is really dull to read), I'm instead going to remind everyone that I have collected most of my homeschooling posts on one handy page. You can either click on the 'homeschooling' tab on the top (I think) of this page, or on this link: Homeschooling   I have it organized by age and topic. There is a lot there. Take a look. Or feel free to pass it on to anyone who might find it helpful. I hear a lot of people choosing homeschooling out of a deep sense of fear. I get that and don't want to downplay the seriousness of our current situation.

Since we had a lighter school week last week, I had more time to play. Are you ready? There's quite a bit.  Spinning I finished the color gradient that I had dyed. I really like how it turned out. I still have no idea what to do with it. It's about 200 yards of DK weight yarn. The yarn is... rustic, meaning that there are slubs in it. If I had carded it more times I might have gotten the shorter bits out, now they're adding texture. It's cheviot wool which means it is not next to skin soft, but would be very warm. Do you think someone would buy it if I tried to sell it? Here's a close-up of the darkest skein. In other spinning news the breed study kits I ordered arrived. I bought these with some of the money I earned teaching spinning and bought them both because I really want to play with them and because this is what my students who are continuing on next year will be working on. This way they can see the boxes and collectively decide which set they will do.  Loo

We've done the transition of older children moving out leaving just younger children at home more than once. While I notice those older children's absence in all aspects of life, it is at the dinner table where I feel the empty place(s) most keenly. By the time a child is old enough to be on their own, years of family dinners have caused them to be pretty decent conversationalists. While younger children most certainly join in the conversation, it is usually the older people at the table who do the heavy conversational lifting. So when one of those people is no longer at the table, the hole is noticeable. Having just the younger six at the table these days has meant that it has taken a while for them to grow into filling the conversational gap. I think we're getting there! For instance, tonight's conversation did not revolve around wanting puppies. (Well, in all honesty, puppies were probably mentioned a few times, but by this time I pretty much tune it out.) Instead, t

I briefly considered trying to write this as an April Fool's Day entry, but it felt like too much work and my life tends toward the unbelievable to begin with. Such as two night's ago... J. went out to do the night check on the horses and I hear him come back in and call my name in a tone that was... concerning. It seemed the horses were looking like they were throwing up, but since horses cannot throw up, I went back out with him. Sure enough, every so often one would open their mouth and great amounts of saliva would pour out. All four of them. I called my vet, but got the voicemail, so went to Doctor Google. They all had the slobbers. (Yes, that's the actual name and it was confirmed by the vet the next morning.) It turns out to be rather common when horses eat clover that has developed a fungus. They are all fine, but I did not have a restful night. It seems every person who has even remote contact with horses is aware of this. I'm not sure how I missed it.  We gave