Ordinary Time

I learned today that shipped is Army-speak for when new recruits leave for basic training. Shipped is what TM did today. I know this is a very good choice for him and he is excited, but I'll admit this was hard. (One of the first pictures we ever saw of TM) We've been through a lot, he and I. We struggled and fought (both with each other and for each other). We learned to appreciate each other and deeply love each other. (Just after TM and D. became Boy Scouts) I am a very different person because of this son of mine. I think I'm a better person. I have learned a lot about myself and a lot about other people; things I wouldn't have known without learning to parent this child. It has been bittersweet today. I've been doing a lot of remembering and pondering over the past 15 years. I wish I could go back, touch myself on the shoulder, and whisper that it really will turn out okay. Because it did. I couldn't be prouder of the young man TM has become. I like him and

TM took the younger six on their last adventure this afternoon. After getting enormous ice cream cones, they spent a couple of hours walking up and down the Fox River. I'm pretty sure the younger people have no idea exactly how much they are going to miss him.

I am currently working my way through Writing Alone and With Others by Pat Schneider in preparation for the creative writing class I will be teaching in the upcoming school year. I have now slogged my way through more than a few books about teaching writing, and while I've gotten a good idea here and there, they have been rather uninspiring. So when I picked this one up (because it was the next on the stack), I was not expecting very much. I think that is probably why the bit I did read today struck me so forcibly... I wasn't expecting it. I took a lot of notes, among them were these quotes: "Not being able to write is a learned disability" because we are all storytellers. "Genius often emerges when there is intimate support for it." "Genius is hidden everywhere; it is in every person, waiting to be evoked, enabled, supported, celebrated." "We are created in the image of the Creator. Creating is what we were designed to do." "You ar

A better day today, which is very good. The horses are slowly figuring out how to all get along. There has been a little less chasing, and life inside the barn is going back to normal. My goodness, there has been a lot of drama in the pasture over the past week.  Vienna continues to settle in despite the nuttiness of the big horses. She is really such a sweet and loving little thing.  My vegetables are still not planted in my garden. Instead, I seem to be working on growing the world's largest dandelion farm. I'm pretty sure a few of them are a couple of feet tall. For my birthday, I have requested that someone... anyone... not me... plant my plants in the garden. What a difference a year makes, huh? The weather this spring has been nutty. On this past Tuesday, it got up to nearly 90 degrees. Today? Low 40's. After going out a couple of times and being exceedingly cold, I finally broke down and got my winter coat out. The winter coat which I proceeded to put on over the woo

It was not the most spectacular of days today. Not for any big specific reason, just lots of little things. So instead of writing things, I'll just share a bunch of random animal pictures that you may or may not have seen. I'm off to read and then go to bed.

You know, adoption is messy. If you've been reading here for any length of time, I sure hope that statement doesn't surprise you. But frankly, sometimes I get tired of the mess. It's not my own mess that I'm tired of, but everyone else's mess. I spend a lot of time in adoption groups trying to advocate for healthier, kinder ways of parenting children from hard places. I've seen first hand what consequence-based, "if only my kid would just try harder we'd be fine" methods of parenting can do, and I genuinely want to save both the parents and their children some of that pain. It can be uphill work.  Tonight, I'm taking a break. Once I see the magic letters of RAD or ODD start being kicked around, I know that the odds of anyone hearing me are slim. I call them magic letters because all too often I see parents using them as a diagnosis (and truly, it is often a sketchy diagnosis made by professionals who have no right to be making the diagnosis in

This week is all about realizing it is the last week we have with TM for a very long time. A lot of the foods on the menu this week are things he either likes or requested. He has planned a last ice cream outing for later in the week, and yesterday was the last forest preserve adventure with him and the six youngest. I love this picture Tuesday, May 25 Chicken gyros      Served with cut-up tomatoes, cucumbers, and yogurt sauce Pita Rice Wednesday, May 26 Spaghetti with Italian sausage      The sauce is from scratch Garlic bread Salad Thursday, May 27 Chicken corn chowder      A new recipe  French bread Friday, May 28 Char sui banh mi      Vietnamese sandwiches Cole slaw Saturday, May 29 Taco salad Sunday, May 30 Meatball pho      It's not real pho... I tried it once and we all agreed it was something that was probably just best to get from a restaurant. This serves in a pinch, though. Egg rolls Monday, May 31 (Memorial Day) I haven't quite figured it out yet, probably something

I was chatting with another mom yesterday, and she said something that I thought was very wise and that I've been thinking about ever since. In describing a place where they had visited to receive some therapy, she knew it wasn't for them because it all just looked too nice and too perfect. She couldn't imagine bringing her messy situation into a space such as that. The perceived perfection did not seem to allow any room for anything that was less than perfection. I could immediately think of any number of situations where my surroundings made me feel unwelcome due to how nice they were... either because I worried what havoc my children might cause or because they left no room to relax or because I didn't perceive the owner as being welcoming to anyone less than perfect. I'm sure you can think of situations where you have felt that way, too. I understand the desire to have living spaces or office spaces be nice; to work and live in beautiful surroundings. We all kno

One of R.'s birthday presents was a Magna Doodle-like drawing toy. You know, where the pen, which is actually a magnet, pulls up the little metal filings when you draw with it, then you slide the bar across to erase it all. They were a staple on car trips for years, but as I was searching for gifts, I realized that R. had never really had a chance to use one.  When I bought it, I was hoping it would have the same effect that I had noticed using white boards during school . There is something incredibly powerful about doing work on something that is so impermanent and easy to erase. This combined with it being a slightly different form of drawing made me hope that it would have a positive benefit for R.  Well, look at the following pictures. I think they say it all. R. drew these this afternoon while sitting outside with J. They were not prompted or involved outside help in anyway. This is Daddy and a cat These are the very first pictures that she has done completely on her own wh

Can you stand more pony pictures and stories? Because it isn't everyday that you get to bring home the cutest pony in the world. First some pictures that B. took from yesterday. The big horses have been a bit... unsettled. I left the barn last night with them all staring at Vienna and when I went back out in the morning, instead of being greeted by horses in the dry lot waiting for breakfast, there was no one. Instead, they were all in their stalls staring at the pony. Based on their stalls, all they did all night was stare at the pony.  Then I turned them out, the big horses in one pasture and Vienna in the other. Once again, the big horses couldn't stop looking at they pony, who pretty much ignored them. Eventually, they were able to calm down enough to go about grazing. At the end of the afternoon, I let Bristol in with Vienna. They sniffed each other and both went back to grazing. In the meantime, Java and Emmy were losing what little mind they share between them because no

In years past, I have had children who enjoyed playing with the My Little Pony plastic toys, though I always called them pretty, pretty ponies because I could never remember their name. And while small plastic toy ponies are fun, don't you think a real live pretty, pretty pony is better?  Meet Vienna. Everyone is pretty smitten with our new addition. She is a Shetland cross, a little over 11 hands tall, is eleven years old, and is a mare. Because I like mares and that's all I have. G. has declared Vienna's nickname will be ViVi. Vienna is a very sweet natured girl, and aside from not liking the ramp on our trailer, did just fine on the trip home.  The three big horses were hilariously curious. All the horses are tucked into their stalls for the evening, though everyone is also more than a little discombobulated. It's very difficult to eat when all you want to do is hang your head over your stall and stare at the newcomer, and vice versa.