Ordinary Time

I was co-leading a training session about providing Equine Assisted Services to young people for Athena this afternoon. This is something my co-leader and I do somewhat regularly. This was the second session and part of the homework from the first was to watch a short video by Bryan Post. It made me realize that I have probably never talked much about Bryan Post and how pivotal he was for me while I was in the process of rethinking everything I thought I knew about parenting. If you work with children in any capacity and haven't yet met Dr. Post, then I strongly urge you to watch this video. Six minutes that can change your child's life (and yours)

I read an article the other day about undirected attention . (I linked to it in case you want to read it.) Essentially, due to being constantly connected to our phones, our brains get no rest. If we have to wait for a few minutes for something, we are likely to pull out our phones and start scrolling. (Yes, I'm as guilty as anyone. It's all rather insidious.) Instead of having pockets in our day when our brain is free to wander and rest with no demands being placed on it, we fill those moments with... well, whatever happens to catch our notice on our phones. If your feeds look anything like mine, not only are we not giving our brains a break, but at the same time we're causing huge releases of cortisol into our systems due to the nature of current events. This makes it even worse than just not having a break.  I think I found this particular interesting because over the past few months, I have been listening to very little as I clean the barn each morning. It kind of felt a...

"Our society has an entrenched way of thinking about behavior. We almost always assume it derives from a person's will -- that people behave consciously and purposefully. When people misbehave, we likewise assume that they're doing it intentionally. As a result, whenever individuals in almost any social setting act out or misbehave, those in charge usually respond by punishing the bad behavior. When you were a kid, did your parents take away your TV time or allowance when you misbehaved? Most did. When you continued to misbehave, they probably just stepped up the intensity of the consequences and rewards. And they probably also bestowed privileges when you did the right thing. School discipline is similar. We assume when kids misbehave in school, they do it on purpose either to get stuff (special attention, for instance) or get out of stuff (like doing their work or coming inside after recess). In the early school years, teachers will punish kids with time-outs. They are t...

You may or may not have noticed (I certainly have), that the amount of things I have made this year so far is incredibly small. I just haven't had the mental energy to do very much. I haven't been concerned because my interests do have wild swings, but I have made note of it. I think I have figured out a small piece of what's going on. When I read the news today that the selling of public lands was removed from the Big Ugly Bill the amount of relief I felt was significant. I don't think I was quite aware of how much stress and anxiety I was carrying about this. While this issue is important, there are still so many others, not the least of which is ICE kidnapping people off the street, that are still ongoing. I think that there are many of us who are carrying weight the extent of which we don't fully realize.  What I have been doing is reading. Copiously even by my standards. I'm currently averaging over nine books a month. It's been a lot of reading. Its al...

I've been reading quite a bit, so of course I have books to share. This is the last one for a while, so I'm sure there will be something different tomorrow. The book I want to tell you about tonight is  Re-Regulated: Set Your Life Free from Childhood PTSD and the Trauma-Driven Behaviors That Keep You Stuck by Anna Runkle. This book was recommended to me by a friend who is a therapist and knows my interest in childhood trauma.  If you have read The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk and found it helpful to explain what was going on with you due to past trauma, I highly recommend you now read Re-Regulated. This is a much lighter read than van der Kolk's book. His gives you the why you experience your life as you do, this book gives you the what now piece of the puzzle. I think it contains a really accessible game plan for moving forward. The author is someone who has experienced childhood trauma and has overcome it, so she is a very good companion to have along the w...

I have been advertising quite a lot for the different programs I offer at Bittersweet Farm LLC. One of those is Pony Phonics, where a child would play games (with the ponies), practice reading (with the ponies), create stories (about the ponies if they like), and do a lot of other types of hands-on reading readiness and support. After teaching children for decades, I have quite a few effective activities that I used with my own children, and which helped them become excellent readers.  I was thinking today while cleaning stalls (it's an excellent time to think, by the way) about why I think this type of learning is so helpful. I decided it was the sheer physicality of all of these hands-on experiences. Our brains are wired to move through space and to remember the things we do while moving through space. It's why the concept of memory palaces is so effective. It combines movement with ideas.  Sometimes I listen to a recorded book while I'm cleaning stalls. Even months late...

As of today I have completed my Level 7 post-graduate certificate in Equine Assisted Services through the Athena Herd Foundation.  It was a great experience. There were four other students in my cohort and we all met at least once a month to discuss our projects and the process. I always enjoyed these conversations because they were filled with interesting discussions and good questions and ideas.  As I've mentioned before, my action research project was to develop a program which would help to mitigate sibling conflict by working with horses. I also used the process to make changes to my original plan in order to create a more effective program. When the numbers were all crunched, those who participated showed a statistically significant increase in how their families interacted both in terms of general behavior as well as using the tools and skills they learned. All adults rated the work with the horses as being integral to the program's effectiveness. I will admit it was pe...

There is an event coming up that H. would very much like to attend, but it just isn't going to work this year. As you can imagine, this is very disappointing to her. There was a lot of processing going on today.  The fact that H. could express a desire and then express genuine emotions when that desire couldn't be met is no small thing. It's even a bigger deal when these things happened without any prompting, coaching, or disassociation. While I'm sorry H. has to experience disappointment, I would be pretty thrilled about the expression of need and disappointment if it stopped there.  There was more to this process, though. H. wrote three "stories" (her term) that she brought down and read to us to help her express her needs and disappointment. This is so huge I need to say it again.  She wrote a story. She was able to read the story to us long after she had written it. The story expressed need and feelings.  I was totally floored by this. I didn't expect ...

This time of year, at least in the Midwest, it's hard not to feel a bit of awe every time you go outside. Things are green again, animals are waking up or returning, and it seems nearly every tree is in bloom.  Cherry blossoms Apple blossoms More apple blossoms  Peach blossoms At least I hope you are getting outside and enjoying it all because it's good for you to do so. It's good to be outside in nature. Brain science has lots and lots of studies to show what you probably already understood... That being in nature can reduce cortisol and lead to feelings of well-being.  But here is another bit of brain trivia for you. Nature inspired awe can also change how you perceive time.  I came across a study while I was doing my action research project research which looked at how people perceived time after being outside and viewing something that was awe inspiring. The results were that feelings of awe made time feel broader, as if the person felt there was more of it. And ...

[Fair warning, you may want to buckle up. This will not be a pleasant post, and I am 100% sure I will make people angry and possible lose friends over it. If you are thin-skinned, you may want to just move along. And, as usual, I will be quick with the delete key for aggressive, threatening, or mean comments. You've been warned.] The brain is a funny thing, how when we're doing things our subconscious is always working and making connections our thinking brain hasn't thought of. Which is why I was rather curious about the fact I suddenly had the song, Trouble in River City from the musical, The Music Man, going through my head while I mucked stalls this morning. After a little thinking, I have it figured out. My revision of the song might give you a clue as to why it was the morning's earworm.  [For those who don't know the musical, it is about a con man who travels from town to town creating fear and selling band instruments as a result. This takes the form of tell...

Re-entry can be tough. Between the jet lag (and really, two hours doesn't feel as though it should be a huge difference, but it is) and tackling all the things that need to be done that you didn't do while you were gone... well, I still don't feel quite caught up. And I'm tired. For that reason, I'm resorting to sharing a quote from a book for you to ponder.  I'm about halfway through Focus: The Hidden Driver of Excellence by Daniel Goleman. (I did get a little reading time on my trip.) I'm enjoying it and look forward to getting to read the rest of it. This quote is from the beginning of the book. I find it interesting because I think people mistakenly believe that they will only be content or happy if they never have negative thoughts run through their heads. This is an unrealistic idea. It is far better to frame what is going on in a different light. "The biggest challenge for even the most focused, though, comes from the emotional turmoil of our liv...

I'm currently reading, Shift: Managing Your Emotions -- So they Don't Manage You by Ethan Kross. I am actually speed reading it a bit since it is now overdue, and I need to get it back to the library. It's actually a really good introduction on self-regulation and if this is something you want to know more about or feel you need to work on, this would be a very good place to start. I've read more than a few things about emotional regulation and it is something I teach in both Equine Assisted Learning sessions and in parent coaching sessions. What has been helpful for me is to see much of what I had already learned put together in a coherent way. But that doesn't mean there aren't new things for me to discover.  I want to share with you a couple of those new things. This first section is under the heading in the book titled, "The Reframing Paradox". Reframing is a tool I use a lot. The very simplest form is being able to look at a challenging situation ...

I haven't written much about the conference I attended last week, but I found something in my notes that I wanted to share with you. The keynote speaker for the conference was Dr. Steve Peters , a neuroscientist who specializes in both humans and horses. He is a very good speaker and being able to discuss both human and horse brains covers some of my favorite topics.  The quote I wrote down was this: [Felt safety and connection] create gluco-corticoid receptors [in the brain] which neutralize gluco-corticoids [also known as cortisol].  So maybe it's not a word for word quote based on the number of brackets I needed to use, but the meaning is the same. While Dr. Peters didn't use the words 'felt safety and connection,' he did use terminology to mean the same thing. A person... or horse... needs to experience safety as well as feeling close to others. That would be other people for people and other horses for horses.  What happens is there are receptors in out brains ...

If you're anything like me, you're feeling done in and exhausted. Between the weather and current events it's just a lot to manage at once. So here's my list of things that can help you keep a grip on your sanity. (And I'm preaching to myself as much as any of you.) Turn off the news and social media after you have done a quick catch-up to stay informed. Hearing more of the same isn't going to help you, but it will flood your brain with cortisol which makes it difficult to think rationally as well as making you feel kind of rotten.  Once you've turned off the news, if you can't direct your brain elsewhere distract it by engaging in something that will take your attention: read a book, make something, help someone, learn a new skill.  Find your community and spend time with them. More and more the research is finding that being in community with other people (IN PERSON) is vital for our physical and emotional health. It's harder to spiral when you...

A friend of mine sent me a message with a podcast recommendation. Since I tend to listen to podcasts the most while I'm doing barn chores, I can plow through them at a pretty rapid clip and am always happy for suggestions.  The recommended podcast in question? The Good Whale about Keiko, the orca who starred in the movie, Free Willy. This has everything I love about a good podcast (and good non-fiction in general)... It is very well written, has high production values, and tells a story that has implications far beyond the subject at hand. I highly recommend it.  I have now listened to the five episodes that have been released and am eagerly waiting for the sixth and final installment. I need to know how it turns out, this project of rewilding Keiko. I vaguely remember hearing about the whale on the news in the 90's, but that also coincided with having only little children, so I admit to not following the story very carefully.  While the story centers on the orca, I find ...

I came across a FB post that was shared in one of my equine assisted activities groups about the comparative neurobiology of horses and humans. I'm all about when my various interests collide, so of course I stopped and read the whole thing right then. (Look for Charlotte Moore - CM Training on FB if you want to read it, too.) As so often happens, most of it was information I already knew. That is until I got to the spot where she connected a few dots for me that I hadn't connected myself. It was one of those Aha! moments coupled with a bit of annoyance at myself for not having made the connection. In order to explain the connection I should have made, I need to back up a bit and discuss my extreme dislike of feeling too busy or too rushed. I dislike these things so much that I will do just about anything to avoid them. Our schedule is pretty bare bones and I try to avoid putting things at times where I know it will feel a bit of a crush to get to them. I don't like how I f...

<<But then this is the part that I just loved. Not only did it [doing some sort of tangible, creative activity] cause students to flourish, but they noticed an upward spiral where creativity led to positive feelings that were then carried forward to the next day's pursuits and continued. So they linked it to being able to be more engaged in learning in the classroom. And this was a study done by Tamlyn Connor and Colin DeYoung and Paul Silvia called Everyday Creativity as a Path to Flourishing, which I think was the other thing that really needs to be highlighted and then I'll stop. Flourishing, like it's not just to make you feel better, but to make you flourish, which to me is what helps students to really do well in school because now they're in a very positive spiral.>> (f rom The Sheepspot Podcast, episode 110) This little bit of conversation caught my attention this morning as I was cleaning the barn. I'm always interested in the intersection betwe...

Well, I can decide if I should title it: Silos in Academia are Good for No One Or: I Have a PhD so I Don't Need to be Self-Aware It's such a toss-up that I'm truly torn. Here's the story. I'm in the barn mucking stalls this morning. The podcast I loved is no longer producing episodes and I am bereft because l finished the last episode. Wanting something to listen to I decide to go back to The Hidden Brain. Surely the episode which so annoyed me was an anomaly because the back episodes have been good. The current episode is about memory which is a topic right up my alley. Between my personal reading on memory because I'm interested and my reading to help H., I feel pretty familiar with the subject. I'm always happy to learn something new about a topic I'm interested in.  The good news is that there is nothing in this episode that is cringy. (It's sad that cringy is now the low bar.) And much of the information was good. It was mainly focused on how s...

This is the title of the most recent Hidden Brain podcast that I've been stewing over ever since I listened to it yesterday morning. I didn't write about it yesterday because I thought some distance from it might tone down my reaction a bit. Reasonable is always better than highly irritated and angry. But time has not softened my response. If anything, it has increased it. I guess I need to write out my response to get it out of my head.  A better working title for this particular episode would have been, "Boys will be boys... or misusing science to excuse bad behavior." If you haven't listened to the episode, it was an interview with a scientist who studies why humans don't like being told what to do and how this explains people's behaviors.  I'm not objecting to the idea that Americans don't like to be told what to do. That's hardly surprising. Anyone who watched people's reactions to being told to wear facemasks during Covid knows exactl...

"But the situation with rewards is even more interesting. In a recent multiphase study, Warneken and I [the author] gave twenty-month-olds various opportunities to help. Some of the children were given a concrete reward every time they helped: a small toy that they could use to create an exciting effect, which they loved. Other children were given no reward at all, not even a smile or a thank you from the adult who simply accepted the help with no reaction whatsoever. Most children helped on five occasions, and those who did participated in the second phase, in which the infants had the opportunity to help several times again. This time, however, there would be no reaction from the adult in any of the cases. The results were remarkable. The children who had been rewarded five times in the first phase actually helped less during the second phase than those who had not been rewarded.  This 'overjustification effect' has been documented by the Stanford psychologist Mark Pepp...