Disorganized attachment and brain washing

There was a brief moment of sun this afternoon, so I was able to read outside for a bit. Here was my view.

It also meant I was able to finish Terror, Love & Brainwashing by Alexandra Stein. (A little light reading for a weekend away.)  What drew me to this book was the juxtaposition of attachment theory and totalist groups or belief systems. 

Attachment theory is really a descriptive way to describe how people interact with each other and relate to the world. Usually attachment styles are determined in early childhood by relationships with intimate caregivers. 

In a way, the book was not what I was expecting. I thought it was going to be a discussion of which attachment styles are most likely to be susceptible to cults or totalist thinking. It turned out to be far more complicated and interesting that that simple premise. The short version is that any person with any attachment style can be drawn into totalist groups, even those with healthy attachments. What type author really focused on was how cults and totalist create disorganized attachment in the people who are drawn into them. 

Disorganized attachment was first described by Margaret Main as what happens in children who grow up in abusive families. It is the result of having the attachment figure be both the source of terror and the only source of comfort and safety. The child ends up in a place of terror without any escape. As a result, the child's brain disassociated from what is happening. Memories are not stored in explicit memory. Instead they are stored in the more feeling emotional parts of the brain and body, in implicit memory. The part of memory without a time stamp and without any language describing what is happening. There is no way to think critically about what is happening because the connection to language has been dissolved in an act of self preservation. This is also what happens when developing PTSD. 

This, it turns out, is the same process of people who are sucked into cults and totalist groups. It is the root of brain washing. The biggest difference is that the individual needs to be cut off from all other sources of comfort and safety. This is why cults and abusers find ways to make their victims severe all outside relationships. Without these outside sources of safety, the ability to create terror without escape can occur, which then causes disassociation, followed by an inability to think rationally about what is happening. 

This is the very abbreviated description, at least. I am a bit fascinated by attachment theory and all of its long term implications. I highly recommend this book if you at all concerned about the rise of extreme and fundamentalist groups. 

Some quotes that seem particularly pertinent. 

"Although the follower is encouraged to expose their doubts and weaknesses of belief, and confess their failings, such confessions are then used by the group and turned against the follower. Any actual critique of the group's practices, on the other hand, is strictly forbidden. This, even between a couple, or close friends, it is a dangerous practice to try to criticize the group, and especially the leader, in any way. The risks of punishment, up to and including expulsion, which will result in the follower being shunned. In the Newman Tendency [one of the cults the author studied] former members reported to me [the author] that they could not freely share doubts about the group to anyone - they were aware that this risked punishment. The former members of the non-cultic Green Party, on the other hand, constantly and freely shared doubts and complained about a variety of aspects of party life - this was almost Central to their experience. In fact we can say that the freedom to doubt is a hallmark of an open, democratic society." (p. 103)

If you cannot freely criticize or question any group or religion you are a part of, I would say this is a big problem and definitely a cause for concern. 

One more...

"Defining identity as being different from (as in fundamentalist, nationalist or identity politics) can lead to closed, isolated systems, with accompanying absolutist values, resulting in the absurd phenomenon of each of these different systems laying claim to the one and only Truth. This is a fear driven response. But defining identity as being a particular part of a complex and changing whole, where one's difference is an integral part of this diverse whole - different with - can allow a reaching over divided that prevent us sitting together at a common table." (p. 202)

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Any entity or belief system that inculcates fear, especially of another person or group of people, is not healthy or good or from a God who made one of the greatest commandments to love others as you love yourself.