Dealing with messes

I didn't accomplish a lot today. I've either been out in the barn worrying about Vienna or inside the house worrying about Vienna. When I was not worrying, I was scrolling on my phone. You know, because it was a distraction from the worrying. Sometimes when I'm scrolling, I'll look to see what people have viewed on the blog. And to prolong the scrolling, I'll click on it and reread it. Sometimes I have written about something I don't remember, so that's a nice bonus. Which is why I found myself reading the post, Learning is Messy . It wasn't terribly old, but I realized that there had been a comment asking a question that I had never replied to. 

So to save you all from endless navel gazing about how worried I am about Vienna, I thought I'd answer the question... even if it is nearly five years late. The question was essentially: Did I have any recommendations for ways to come to terms with the mess that living with children can entail, particularly in the kitchen. Or something along those lines, at least. 

I think so much of it has to do with expectations. Long ago I ceased to have the expectation that my kitchen would be clean and all the dishes would be put away. (It's basically clean, really it is the endless cycle of dirty dishes I'm taking about.) There are just too many of us, too many people cooking, there is only one dishwasher, and frankly, I have a lot more interesting things to do than spend what would be every waking moment cleaning the kitchen. I will occasionally decide I can't take it any more and spend a couple of hours getting everything washed and put away. I've timed it, the average time the completely clean lasts is something around five minutes. 

There are some general guidelines for the kitchen. In theory, at least. If you want to bake something you need to at least start the dishwasher and tidy the counters first. It is also encouraged that you wash your baking dishes. By me refusing to spend ridiculous amounts of time cleaning the kitchen, I've also found that sometimes children will clean it of their own accord. This is particularly true if very loud music can be played at the same time. It also tells me that the kitchen is not seen as my domain that other people use from time to time, but is truly the whole family's and is everyone's responsibility. 

Other ways I cope with the perpetual messes that spring up? I practice not seeing them. I do have a limit, and request everyone come help do a massive pickup when things pass that limit, but generally I don't look at it. I also am pretty vigilant about continuously clearing out unwanted items just to cut down on the sheer oint of things that could be left out. If you don't have that much stuff, there is only so much mess that can be made. I don't expect to see pristine rooms so am not disappointed when they don't appear. 

I believe the original question asked if there were phrases I used to help myself not get upset by the mess, such as, "I'll miss this when they're gone." Maybe I do? I actually have so many things that I would personally rather do, that I just think doing them sounds more interesting than perpetually tidying. As far as missing the mess when the children are grown? I actually don't think I'll miss the mess. I'll miss the children, but not the mess that eight people living in one house can bring. 

I realize that I might make it sound as though we live in squalor. We don't. If we had unexpected company I would never hesitate to invite them in. The house won't be pristine, it will just look lived in. If we do have company planned, with everyone pitching in we can reach company clean in about an hour. (Well, unless the kitchen is in particular upheaval. That might take a bit longer because dishes are time consuming.) Small bits of daily maintenance can go a long way. Plus, there is R. who loves to sweep and does that once or twice a day. 

Did I answer the question? I'm not sure. I'm not even sure if I wrote anything coherent or useful. But it was a nice fifteen minute distraction from worrying about Vienna.