A parent's worst nightmare

(Do I add the warning up front that I guarantee I will deeply offend someone or do I just let it catch them by surprise... ? I guess you can consider yourself warned.)

Sometimes I feel as though that would be me and my family. And why? Because we have trans children and we are Christian (though I'm sure some would say that we say we are Christian.)

Here we go... this post has been brewing for some time. 

Every parent wants to do a good job raising their children. Especially with the first, there are so many unknowns, things you don't know, fears you have over being intrusted with this little tiny baby who you suddenly love more than life itself. You want to do the right things. This is often especially true when it comes to matters of faith. The consequences of getting it wrong can be eternal depending on the voices you are listening to. This can be a heavy and frightening burden. 

So you read a lot, you listen to older parents, you listen to pastors and teachers, and you do all the things. All of them. And by doing so, you come to expect that because you have been diligent, your life and your children will turn out a certain way. 

Until it doesn't and they don't because that is not how life and faith work despite the assurances you were given. 

There's my back story because I am just so dang tired of people blaming our parenting for our children's perceived faults. Notice I say perceived because that is certainly not how J. and I view our children. We love them and are proud of them for who they are exactly as they are. I do not want there to be any doubt about that. We wouldn't change them. 

But I cannot tell you how many nice and well meaning people have thought I need commiserating over my children. (I don't.) Or who feel the need to tell us they are constantly praying for us. (I'm pretty sure what they are praying for is not our actual concern.) Or avoid me because surely I can't be a real Christian because I allowed my children to be as they are. (As if it were something that I actually had control over.) Really, I'm not making any of this up. These are honest to goodness responses I get from certain groups of my fellow Christians. 

Usually I just let it go. I don't feel as though they will be changing their viewpoint any time soon, particularly since the more conservative leaders of Christianity are Hell bent on demonizing an entire segment of the population. 

But what causes me to write long, irate, and not entirely understanding blog posts is when my children are involved. Mess with me... fine. I'll probably ignore you because I have other things to do. But if you forbid your child to play with mine or to come to my home because we are not the right flavor of Christian for you, then I strongly suggest you go back and read that Bible you happen to be figuratively beating my children with. Maybe then you might understand that my children, my family carry no contagion. Well, except for being loving towards everyone. Evidently we rate lower than the enemies we're all told to love. 

How would you like the shoe to be on the other foot? Your child hurt because someone else deemed them not good enough to play with? I'll tell you it feels like crap. Thanks for that. 

So here I am, a conservative Christian's worst nightmare. Having followed all the supposed Christian rules, I now have a family completely ostracized by that same segment of the population who told me how to do it right. You hypocrites. The only people creating the nightmare is you. It is not me. It is certainly not my children. And you know what? I may be your nightmare, but I happen to feel incredibly blessed and loved by God for the family and the children we have been given. There is actually nothing at all nightmarish about our life.