Getting things done

A couple of weeks ago I was chatting with a group of people when one woman looked at me and said, "E., you must get a lot of things done each day." I was taken off guard and didn't really know what to reply. I don't actually remember what I said, but it was probably along the lines of not as much as you think. I've been kind of stewing about it ever since.

I know I do quite a few things during the day; raising children will cause that. Laundry, meals, school, errands all have to happen to make life function. But I don't think I do any more than anyone else. I guess what threw me is that I try very hard to be not too busy and to not have to hurry.

I've learned over the years that busy and hurry are what make me the most stressed. When I am stressed, I am nut a good parent or spouse and I certainly am not enjoying the things I am doing. It's just not worth it in the long run. 

I actually have ways that I mitigate the busy and the hurry and we now reach the real point of this post. Here are some of the ways I do this.

1. Be vigilant about commitment creep. It's nice to do things. It's good to volunteer. Even extreme introverts need to interact with actual people. Something may only be once a week or month, but if you add several of these activities, you end up with a very full calendar. For some of us, thus is not good. There have been more than a few seasons where I have had to significantly pare down commitments to make life manageable again. That's not to say that these activities were bad, they were probably actually good in fact, but it is possible to have too much of good things as well. Everyone's tolerance will be different, but I need at least one day a week (two is ideal) where I have no outside commitments and no where I need to drive. 

2. Be aware of time. Because of my extreme dislike of feeling rushed, I tend to keep track of how long it takes me to do certain things. I actually time myself. The truck is not to the myself to see how quickly I can do a task, but to see how long it takes me moving at a comfortable pace. If I need to figure out what time I need to get up in order to get somewhere in the morning, I know how much time I need to not feel rushed. 

This also has the benefit of helping me realize that some things just don't take as long as I think they do. Take making the bed, for example. I really like to walk into my bedroom during the day and having the bed made and the room tidy. This is like a little gift I give to myself each morning. But sometimes it can feel as though there just isn't enough time. When I timed myself making the bed, moving at a regular speed, I discovered it took three minutes. It is the very rare day I can't spare three minutes to do this task. It is a well spent three minutes because it gives me the gift of calm every time I walk into my room throughout the day.

3. Keep the to-do list short. When I had a house full of littles, I learned that I could do one thing each day outside my normal tasks. Anything more than that one thing and it just wouldn't happen. I don't see things as being terribly different now. Planning just one big task for any given day means that there will be time for it and I can focus better because I'm not anticipating the next item. Examples would be 'pay the bills' or 'write the article' or 'deal with the pile of junk I've been ignoring '. With this as my expectation, I don't feel overwhelmed with too much to do or guilty that I haven't done "enough"..  whatever that is.

4. It's okay to rest. No one can do something every single minute. In fact, I would suggest if you are not taking time to rest, turn you are actually less efficient than if you did. I think this is where people get hung up on what they think I'm doing. My resting involves either reading or making things (unless I'm really tired, in which case it's falling asleep on the couch.) I have fielded more than a few comments regarding either how much I read or how much I create. I do a lot of these activities because it is my way of resting and I am careful to plan in rest times. If I don't do this, I'm no good to anyone. I read quickly and making things often takes very little effort; it is restful. But what is restful for me might not be restful for someone else and vice versa. Life is not a competition. What I do contains no hidden commentary on how someone else finds their enjoyment. 

This is what works for me. What works for you to be a sane and functioning human being might be something completely different. Here's my T-shirt slogan again.. Different isn't better or worse, it's just different. It's probably good that not everyone is like me because life would probably grind to a halt and contain far more horses and sheep than would be manageable. My ultimate message here is to become self-aware about how you function best and make conscious choices in order to maintain that functioning.