Positive hypervigilance

Every so often I am struck by the competency that I see in my children. Sometimes it's things they do on a regular basis, but I haven't really stopped to appreciate it, and sometimes it's a new skill. It can be easy to get stuck thinking about our children and not take into account new skills or new levels of maturity. Of course it can go the other way just as easily with early adolescence, so it's nice to mark the moments where you aren't parenting giant toddlers.

Some examples from today...

I came downstairs this morning to discover L. making chocolate chip muffins for everyone. 

Everyone pretty much gets their math done first thing in the morning without me having to ask. They also know to save their questions until after I've had some food and a second cup of coffee.

H. volunteered to help R. make valentines for co-op tomorrow. H. did mention to me that it can be hard to help people, to which I agreed. So points to H. for both helping and being able to identify and express a not entirely positive feeling.

H. also helps R. get breakfast every morning. (It's one of her paid jobs around the house.) This is good for both of them because H. insists that R. help, so it is also a teaching experience for H.

One more for H. She came to me and asked if I could help show her how to do a lot she had received as a gift. This is kind of huge because usually H. is reluctant to ask for any help at all.

K. did his job without doing the annoyed adolescent grumble. (There's hope!!)

I'm sure there were many more, but these are the ones from today which caught my attention. And here is my reminder, both to you and myself... We spend so much time being alert to things which could go wrong with our children that it means we are missing all sorts of good things in our hypervigilance for the negative. Instead, consciously spend some time being hypervigilant for the positive. The small efforts that show positive movement. And then, after you have noticed them, spend time being thankful for them.