Still alive

We are all still alive over here. Yesterday I spent nearly the entire day on the couch helping R. regulate. Really, it's all I did. My one accomplishment was taking a shower. But at least I was able to help her regulate which is more than I can say about the day before. R. did sleep last night... in my bed. I slept, but I think I am now so sleep deprived that it is going to take a few days to get back to my normal sleep schedule. I hope I get more practice tonight. 

There were definite parts of the day today when R. was lucid and seeming much more like her normal self. As the day progressed, I could tell she was starting to find it more difficult to hold it together. I'm very glad we had a scheduled psychiatrist visit for Monday. We're going to have a nice long chat about rescue meds. 

As I mentioned before, what is so terribly disheartening about all this is that she had been doing so well. This is entirely out of the blue. I'm also pretty sure it is not a traumaversary because this has not historically been a hard season. Usually this level of psychosis came on the heels of non-epileptic seizures. Not this time. She had one mild one mid week and that's it. I go back and forth over whether this is progress or should I be concerned about psychosis without the accompanying seizures? I go back and forth on that multiple times throughout the day. The reason I am writing this all out is that I find it useful to look back to see what was happening. It can provide patterns or allows me to see how far she has progressed. But I tell you, this week has been rougher than we've seen since 2019. 

We did get to have our tree trimming party today. There were of course snacks.

And the tree got put up and (sort of) decorated. There is still a lot of room on it and I'll work on it tomorrow. 

It's kind of a funny little tree... definitely the shortest tree we've ever had. 

I got to document A. putting one ornament, which is her traditional amount of decorating.

The stockings got hung.

If you're trying to count, that's 17 for number of people who will be here Christmas morning, not including the stockings for the various animals. 

My mother, who cross stitched them all surprised MC by making and sending a stocking for him.

W. finding it. (He is usually the one to get all the stockings hung up so I had hid MC's in the stack as a surprise.)

MC

And I was on top of things last summer and got some new Christmas art framed. I then promptly forgot I had done this, so it was a nice surprise to discover them again in the decorations.

I bought this at an art fair one summer,

And these are by K., Y., and H. that I loved and put in a frame.

So, it's beginning to look a little like Christmas around here. It will look a little more like Christmas once we find the energy to put all the boxes away. 

I'll feel a lot more Chrismas-y if we can get R. back to a baseline functioning.