Zoos

On Tuesday I had noticed that R. hadn't been following me around all morning. When I went to investigate, I found this.

H. had helped R. build a zoo using H.'s magnetic building tiles and R.'s PlayMobile animals. I wasn't so astounded at H.'s doing this. She will have moments of wanting to play big sister and will spend a day or two organizing R.'s day. What astounded me was that R. was engaged with a type of imaginative play for so long. She usually has very short bursts of imaginative play... "My dolly fall down and is crying," and then she will give the baby a couple of hearty pats and that game is done. R. is usually happier to have something where she can do a repetitive motion over and over and over. Things that require any sort of intellectual thinking have been beyond her. Now, I have no idea who was doing the playing, H. or R., but I'll take it either way. This type of play has also not fallen in H.'s skill set, either. The same zoo occupied them both for two mornings.

Today I also realized that I didn't have my usual shadow. Once again, I go upstairs to to see what was going on and I discovered this.

A new zoo, probably also built by H. I love how she changed the entire concept. Once again, I have no idea how the play was happening, but both girls were engaged for much of the morning. It makes me happy. 

I need to remind everyone that these girls are 17 and 19. Particularly with H., I find there is a tension between finding activities where she can feel like the 19 year old that she is, but at the same time give her space to pursue the activities that she missed and which provide a strong foundation for future learning. Much of the time I leave it up to her how she fills her time. Sometimes she draws or colors and makes origami; sometimes she works in the kitchen; sometimes she reads; and sometimes she plays. I think the key here is having a wide variety of activities which meet the needs of all aspects of who she is. I would be doing her a disservice if she didn't have access to toys or picture books because I had decided she was too old for them. She doesn't play with them all the time, but they are there when she does.

It helps that she has a younger sister that she can play "for". I have seen this phenomenon with all of my children. More times than I can count I would come across an older child happily playing with a younger siblings toys with the excuse they were playing with the younger sibling. Really, though, it was clear in their involvement with what they were doing that this play was also meeting some need they had within themselves. I always felt a bit sorry for children who still needed to play but didn't have a handy younger sibling to be the front. 

But back to my girls. Sometimes as I'm reading various places, it seems as though parents have it in their heads that 18 is a magic age beyond which no learning or development can happen. This is clearly not the case. Just because traditional school typically ends at 18 (or 21 if your child qualifies) doesn't mean they are done learning or growing... or playing. Stop looking at the age and start looking at the child. H. is still learning both socially and academically. I also expect this to continue for quite some time. And I'll be here for her (and R.) supporting her at her speed for as far as she can go.