Fair warning, you may not want to read this

I think we have all watched in horror over the past few days as Russia has invaded Ukraine as well as being overwhelmed with emotion as we have seen report after report of the Ukrainian people rising up and fighting for their right to be a free and sovereign nation. Images of men and women enlisting, of families making Molotov cocktails to defend their cities, women weaving camouflage nets to protect their soldiers. The images of absolute acts of bravery and defiance in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds keep coming. It leaves one feeling a little breathless hoping against hope that the underdog in this instance really can rout the giant. Oh, I hope and pray that they can for all of our future's sakes.

And yet...

In the midst of this breathtaking defense of democracy, I am still stewing about Texas. I've sat with this post for several days now, to see if I can be rational about what I write, to see if some distance will dull my anger, but I'm not sure it has. I feel more exhaustion than anything if I am truthful. But since the need to write about it hasn't left, here we go. 

For those who missed it, Governor Abbott of Texas issued a directive which ordered mandated reporters to report parents to protective services who had trans youth and were seeking medical services related to gender for child abuse. Even writing that raises my blood pressure a bit. What you won't see as you read this are the long pauses I need to take in order to calm myself. 

I don't really write about this at all here because my child deserves their privacy, but when you talk about families with a trans child you are talking about my family. Let me put the real life human face on this issue. Governor Abbott's decree pretty much says that I am an unfit parent. Do you have any idea how that feels? It feels like crap, frankly. 

Let me tell you something. Parents who have trans children (who haven't severed relationships with them [and sadly that's a real thing]) desperately want what is best for them. No one wants to see their child struggle. I'll also be honest and say it is not always an easy parenting road to travel. There are a lot of factors that play into all of it. Of the parents I know and have talked to, no one, absolutely no one, makes decisions lightly or without great thought. The decisions which are made are made because of a great deal of love and care not due to neglect or incompetence. Decisions are made because harm is trying to be avoided and not created. 

Let's address the elephant in the room, shall we?  (I'll warn you, here is where I will probably lose my reasonable tone, make sweeping assumptions, and probably see the amount of "friends" I have on Facebook suddenly tick down significantly. Consider yourselves warned.) There are a whole lot of Christians [and for the moment I'll resist putting that term in quotations] in the country who are all about personal freedom (particularly when it comes to wearing masks and getting a vaccine) as long as it is something that they agree with. The second this group of people disagrees with some issue or another then suddenly the idea of personal freedom means something very different. I am afraid that they have been led around by the nose by political and cultural leaders who care far more about power than they do anything else and have discovered that certain varieties of Christians are fresh for the picking if the right amount of fear is induced. For a people who are directed to be fearless I have never met such a group of fearful people in my life. 

Fear that the wrong people will enter our country and take jobs and endanger families.

Fear that criminals won't be punished enough.

Fear that children will be taught the "wrong" things... often involving the humanity of people of color and the atrocious way white people have treated them over the centuries.

Fear that non-cis people will corrupt children and break down families.

Fear, fear, fear. You hear it in nearly every right-wing political and spiritual tirade. And Christians eat it up. So much for worshiping the creator of the universe who was able to even conquer death. Fear just feels safer. Even if the fear that is created nurtures hate.

Because what else would cause someone to want to report a family trying to do their best? 

There is no coming alongside here, of asking questions, of offering support in what can be a challenging situation. There a merely a need to rid themselves of what is seen as some sort of infection, a blight to be battled, a cancer in need of removal. Who cares what collateral damage is done to the entire family just as long as the good people of society are safe? 

The more extreme a person's stance the more life becomes a total dichotomy. There is good and bad, right and wrong, white and black with no possible chance for a third choice. But life is not a dichotomy; it is not either or. Isn't that what Jesus spent his years preaching trying to get the Pharisees to understand? The third way is love. Crazy, radical, seemingly ridiculous love where you embrace the rest of humanity whether you understand them or not. Where you realize that people who are different do not carry a contagion which can somehow infect you. Where you have such a trust in God that you have no need of fear. Where you understand that God made the world and all of the humanity in it and called it good. And you embrace that and let God work out the details. Jesus touched people He "shouldn't", He talked with people He "shouldn't", He ate with people He "shouldn't". We love Him for that. Well, a lot of people love Him for that until it comes time for them to do the same. Then they want to start putting up rules. Rules about who is safe to talk to, touch, eat with, to invite to their house, to play with their children. 

Do not try to explain why the governor needed to do this. Do not try to explain why it is necessary to keep children safe. Just do not. Instead listen to what it sounds like from the other side. It sounds like hate and there is absolutely no way I can hear it otherwise. 

If this offends you, you have a couple of choices, neither of which involve sending me a message or writing a comment. The first is you can decide I am not your cup of tea and quietly stop reading. That's your right, you go do you. The second is you can try to understand why this feels so personal and frightening and hateful and do some work on yourself to see if you care more about being fearful of others than actually loving them. And not loving them in "maybe if I am nice and apparently understanding they will see the error of their ways" loving. I am not your project and I have a pretty decent grasp of theology. Jesus and I are okay. I mean loving people whom you love because they are people created in God's image whether or not they ever come around to your way of thinking. 

You want the Gospel? It's right there. Jesus died for us even though we were rotten, even though not everyone would see Him as savior, even though many actually hate Him. And yet He still loved us. Go do the same. And if someone says something to you that makes you feel fearful of your personal safety or the safety of your small niche in society? Ask yourself what would Jesus really do. It certainly would't be to turn parents into child protective services.