Enough
I've been thinking a lot about the idea of enough, as in already having enough. I don't think we as a society are good with this idea. We are so steeped in the idea of more, better, newer that we don't even realize how much it affects us. Now, admittedly, some of this idea of enough stems from my miserly frugalness. Years and years of needing to be very careful with every penny will do that. I realized back then that I could choose to see life in one of two ways. Either I could look around me and see all that I didn't have or I could look around me and be thankful for what I did have. I usually chose the second, though I'd be lying if I said I didn't succumb to the first every now and then. To remain in the second frame of mind, I learned I needed to do certain things. I cancelled all subscriptions to any shelter magazines which filled me with dissatisfaction. I also stopped looking at any catalogues which came into the house. We didn't have television reception, so avoiding the want created by commercials was pretty easy. Jettisoning these things from my life did make it significantly easier to focus on what I did have.
Along the way, I realized that it was much more than just spending money. Going to the thrift store or garage sales could trigger my acquiring desire and it took a while for me to realize that I was buying things I didn't really need because I was caught up in the moment of the deal. I spent a lot of years trying to control all the of stuff in our home. (And the Big Ugly House was a big house and could hold an immense amount of stuff.) It took some time for me to really be able to pass up a really good deal if it was something that we didn't need.
If we focus on already having enough, then we have the freedom to plan our purchases... and save for them, too. I'd much rather pay more for something that is well made because having something last is important to me. (Remember this is the person who still thinks of her ten year old shoes as her "new" ones.) My grandmother was also a proponent of using something up or wearing it out before getting rid of it. She would eek out every bit of life from a towel. I have vivid memories of drying my hands in her bathroom on a towel which was pretty darn threadbare in the center. She could very much afford to replace the towel, but chose not to.
If we focus on already having enough, then we also have to face some uncomfortable questions. Why do we shop? How much of our time is spent shopping? Are there things we are avoiding when we fill our time and our homes with purchases? Why do we think we need to buy the next cool thing (or the same thing that our neighbor just bought?) So much of what we do is the result of avoiding discomfort. Is shopping serving that need? Are we afraid of missing out on something or not having something? These can be difficult questions.
If we focus on already having enough, then we can begin to look at the bigger picture of what our purchases are funding. Who is making them? Who is profiting? They are not easy questions and certainly there are not easy answers. But stopping to think about them can be the first step in change. Books are a particular weakness of mine, and more than once recently I have stopped myself from the easy purchase by asking myself if Jeff Bezos really needs more of my business. If I want a book badly enough then maybe I can head over to our independent bookstore and order it from them. Am I conflicted about this? Yes, oh yes. I really like the ease of ordering practically any book I want with the push of a button and having it arrive on my doorstep a couple of days later. We are steeped in consumerism and it is very difficult to fully disengage.
I'm not sure I have any easy answers to any of these questions. I do know I want to live differently than the marketers and advertisers want me to.
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This is a subject I have written a lot about, it seems. Here are some past posts.
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