Holiday expectations

TM said at dinner tonight that he can't wait until the night of December 25 because it is the best sleeping night of the year. I have to say I agree with him. While I love Christmas and love celebrating the day, there is a lot running around my head the weeks previous. This is even after I have significantly pared down my own expectations around the holiday. Looked at objectively, things here are well under control. I have plenty of time to do what I need to do and only have a handful of errands left. But creating Christmas for 16 people, even a modest one, has a lot of moving parts, the majority of which live inside my head.

There were years when W. and B. and A. were the only ones when I had years of December induced insomnia coupled with nightmares when I did sleep of having forgotten to get ready for Christmas and suddenly is was Christmas Day. I had a lot of unrealistic expectations paired with some pretty untethered perfectionism happening during those early years of my parenting. I don't miss that. I am more relaxed, happier, and sleep better. (Well, I sleep better except when a certain child is in a PTSD crisis and isn't sleeping well.) Even Christmas for 16 feels easier than it did when I just had three. Expectations play such a huge role in how we feel about our parenting.

So, while things are well under control, I'm not sure how much I will be around here. I know I don't have brain space to think of anything other than my to do list, and posts about to do lists are only marginally interesting when they happen occasionally. An entire string of them would be pretty tedious... for both the reader and the writer. The very short story is that I agree with TM that I am looking forward to the evening of the 25th. All will be over and will have been enjoyed and we will be heading into a week of very few expectations or obligations. I really do think the day after major holidays are the best.

Comments

papa smurf said…
agree. merry christmas to you 💕

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