Unemployed

Today, at co-op, while I was waiting for children, I spent a couple of hours completing the child evaluations that need to be done as part of being enrolled in our state's program for disseminating Title V funds. (The shorter version is I had a lot of forms to fill out so we can keep four of our children enrolled in the state program which helps with medical costs.) It's a pain, but definitely worth it... even times four.

I don't fill out forms well. I often dislike the options I am given to choose from when answering a question. Heck, I often dislike the question. People aren't standardized, and some of my children are even more not standardized. I gave up long ago trying to bend my answers to fit the form. My forms, when completed, will have many arrows pointing to a longer response than was asked for. I just don't play well with others.

All of this is in explanation as to why, in a section asking about family members of the enrolled child, there is an arrow pointing to a very long response. I was to list each family member (which grows exceedingly tiresome times four), and to give their employment status. The options were: 'full time', 'part time', 'unemployed'. At first glance, probably no one would give this a second thought. It's pretty standard. But personally, I find it more than a little infuriating.

So what I am to check for myself? I'm not employed full time; I earn no salary. I am not employed part time. This leaves me with unemployed. Am I unemployed? That sounds as though I don't do anything of importance throughout the day. Unemployed says to me that what I spend my time doing, if I'm doing anything, has no value at all. Because I do not earn a paycheck, my work does not matter.

I don't actually believe this, but I can say that this is how it feels when confronted with options such as these. Here's the crazy part, though. Were I to put my children into traditional school, their teachers, who would be earning a paycheck, would matter. (I'm the daughter of a public school teacher, and I know that even teachers earning a paycheck feel, and rightfully so, undervalued. This is not my point at the moment. There are also plenty of instances where teachers are held up as doing good and noble work, which they are. It is not a total wasteland of appreciation. And they would still be able to mark 'full time' in terms of employment.) A couple of my children would need to be in special classrooms, needing much more individualized attention and a whole host of specialists to fulfill what I imagine would be some pretty intense IEP's. That's several more people earning a paycheck to educate my children. All of these people, the second they earn money doing what I do for nothing, suddenly have far more value in general society because they are earning money for what they do.

This is starting to sound a bit like sour grapes, and I don't mean it to be. I don't need a lot of public adulation, and in fact do not want it. I do what I do because I love my children, and (usually) because I enjoy it. I also happen to think it is the best education choice for them. What I want is for the societal pendulum to swing back a little more to the point where we can fathom that people can do real and valuable worthwhile work without a paycheck being attached. What I want is for people to stop being defined by the amount of money they earn. And I really want a fourth option for the trio of 'full time', 'part time', and 'unemployed'. Or, if I have to mark 'unemployed', boy would I like a little more free time to go along with it.