Mission Impossible, Take 2

[Cue music] Duh, Duh, Duh-duh, Duh, Duh, Duh-duh...

A national security crisis has come to the attention of the authorities. It's time to call in the best agents.

[TOP SECRET
WE HAVE LEARNED THAT THE MAGAZINE PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO INFILTRATE AMERICAN SOCIETY WITH THE INTENT OF ERADICATION OF COMFORT AND REASONABLE EXPECTATIONS. IN ORDER TO FOIL THEIR VILE PLOT, WE NEED INFORMATION ON HOW THEY MANAGE TO LIVE IN SUCH AUSTERE AND PRISTINE ENVIRONMENTS.
YOU'RE MISSION, SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT IS:
-LEARN THE WAYS OF THE MAGAZINE PEOPLE IN ORDER TO PASS AMONG THEM UNNOTICED
-INFILTRATE THEIR HOMES AND PASS ALONG ANY INFORMATION THAT WILL HELP IN FOILING THEIR PLOT
THIS WILL NOT BE EASY. HUMANS ARE NATURALLY INCLINED TO COMFORT AND LIVING IN PRISTINE CONDITIONS WILL TAX ALL OF YOUR SPY ABILITIES. FURTHER MESSAGES AND COMMUNICATIONS MUST BE CODED.
DESTROY THIS MESSAGE AFTER READING]

[Cue music] Duh, Duh, Duh-duh, Duh, Duh, Duh-duh...

Training will not be easy.

There are codes sheets to learn.

Primary sources to study.

Our people were unable, sadly, acquire a copy of Martha Stewart Living. We believe that she may be the commander of the Magazine People. Further efforts must be made.

And then we must practice our new skills.

(And yes, we did destroy our instructions. Burning things up always makes things more memorable.)