Blathering child or language issue or what?
A few days ago, a fellow adoptive mom blogged about some language issues her son was having with English. (Her son and TM are about the same age, both from Vietnam and came home within months of each other.) After reading her post, I've been thinking a lot about TM's language and wondering if things I thought were either quirkiness or a behavioral issue are more of a language issue instead. Then, today after talking with the P. family mom about something her adopted daughter does, it makes me wonder even more.
The issue is crazy questions. We discovered that both of our children ask us crazy questions...often involving the obvious. Such as, "Are you wearing that sweater today?" as the sweater is being put on, or, "What are you doing, making a sandwich?" as the sandwich is most obviously being made. These are questions that just by observing, the answer should be plain, and none of my other children do this. (Well, sometimes, but not to the same extent and usually because they are not paying attention. It just feels different.) So does anyone else's child do this? Is it merely making conversation? Is it a control issue? (It happens all the time.) Is it just quirkiness? Because it's happening with another child who was adopted and is learning a new language, I am thinking it's not. All I know is, that when you combine constant crazy questions with some other behaviors that don't seem to be abating, it makes for a mom who is teetering on the edge. My reserves of patience of sorely depleted and I'm just not sure what's up.
The instruction manual...I just know when we signed those adoption papers there was supposed to be an instruction manual!
The issue is crazy questions. We discovered that both of our children ask us crazy questions...often involving the obvious. Such as, "Are you wearing that sweater today?" as the sweater is being put on, or, "What are you doing, making a sandwich?" as the sandwich is most obviously being made. These are questions that just by observing, the answer should be plain, and none of my other children do this. (Well, sometimes, but not to the same extent and usually because they are not paying attention. It just feels different.) So does anyone else's child do this? Is it merely making conversation? Is it a control issue? (It happens all the time.) Is it just quirkiness? Because it's happening with another child who was adopted and is learning a new language, I am thinking it's not. All I know is, that when you combine constant crazy questions with some other behaviors that don't seem to be abating, it makes for a mom who is teetering on the edge. My reserves of patience of sorely depleted and I'm just not sure what's up.
The instruction manual...I just know when we signed those adoption papers there was supposed to be an instruction manual!
Comments
Sometimes I think it is just her way to engage in conversation when she doesn't have any other ideas of what to talk to me about. I think she wants to talk to me but hasn't developed enough to know what to talk about.
Either way, I would think having them tell you what it is they see that is going on would be helpful.
It does not seem to be so much that he can't understand the English but that to grasp/comprehend something he has to repeat it many times.
I wonder if since they already had a spoken language if the brain has to re-wire for the new language which is spoken in an entirely different way.
I agree combined with other issues this does get old and frustrating to deal with, some day we just have to stop him and tell him enough for now.
Donna
This "issue" you write about here is very familiar to me. Our son Quinton, who was adopted from Korea at about 22 months of age does this all the time. He is 9 now. We used to joke about it when he was younger nicknaming him "Mr. Obvious". It was annoying but kinda silly so we laughed about it then. It has now evolved into other quirky/strange behaviors for us though and we are having some serious issues with him right now. Your situation may be totally different but for us with Q, it seems to be a control issue. He is also very manipulative in other ways too. I have been pulling my hair out here. We had him tested for ADHD at the recommendation of his teachers but the results were inconclusive. (I don't think he is overly hyper-active, it's more impulsive behavior) He seems to have many symptoms of Reactive Attachment Disorder but I am not totally sure if it's that or not. We are in the process of getting him therapy right now.
I'm in no way implying TM has an attachment issue, I just read and I am going through a lot right now with my son so I thought I'd share. All kids are different. Q has always been kinda difficult since he came home. I am at my wit's end right now. We adopted 5 of our children and he is the only child who does this kind of stuff.
I'm interested to read about others who have experienced this.
Just wanted to pipe in and say Zeeb totally does this too. He repeats things, he asks obvious questions and he pipes in with non-sequetors. All of my kids did each of these a little, but he does them in spades. And when I stop and tell myself "It's a language thing" it makes perfect sense - but it still can be rather annoying at times.