Read this book
I finished a book earlier this week that I loved and spoke to me deeply, and I want to share it with you. Let's start with this.
"Yes, the world is broken. But don't be offended by it. Instead, thank God that He's intervened in it, and He's going to restore it to everything it was meant to be. His kingdom is breaking through, bit by bit. Recognize it, and wonder at it.
War is not exceptional; peace is. Worry is not exceptional; trust is. Decay is not exceptional, restoration is. Anger is not exceptional; gratitude is. Selfishness is not exceptional; sacrifice is. Defensiveness is not exceptional; love is.
And judgmentalism is not exceptional...
But grace is.
Recognize our current state, and then replace the shock and anger with gratitude. Someone cuts you off on your commute? Just expect it. No big deal. Let it drop, and then be thankful for the person, that exceptional person, who lets you merge. See the human heart for what it is, adjust expectations, and be grateful not angry.
When you see, in the midst of all this mess, beautiful glimpses of God's kingdom, defined by love, breathe it in." - from Unoffendable: How just one change can make all of life better by Brandt Hansen (pp. 40-41)
The thesis of this book is that we, as Christians, do not have a right to our anger. This is hardly a new theological idea, yet in our current culture, anger even (especially?) among Christians is not only prevalent but accepted. Instead of being radically loving people, embracing others to show them the love of Jesus, because we know we are just as messed up as anyone else, I see so many Christians begin consumed by anger at those others who don't live up to their personal standards or believe the wrong things or voted for the wrong person. You'd almost think that anger was listed as one of the fruits of the Spirit.
Mr. Hansen does a pretty darn good job of laying out why anger is not a part of a Christian life and the dangers hanging onto anger poses. But as I read, I kept wondering if he was going to go past anger.
You see, in my parenting of children who have been hurt, I have learned that anger is easy. It is far, far easier to be angry than to address what is really going on. More often than not, what is usually going on is some pretty deep seated fear. Admitting and feeling afraid is pretty hard. In comparison, being angry feels a lot better and requires less of the person who is angry. Anger says, "It's not my fault," but fear quietly whispers in the background, "But what if it is?"
Mr. Hansen does reach this point in his book. Ultimately, a Christian's anger at someone else or at what they see as an immoral society is also based in fear. Fear that God is not really who He says He is, or fear that God either cannot or will not make things right, or fear that God doesn't really love the person who is angry, or (perhaps the deepest fear of all) fear that God isn't even really there.
Because giving up our anger means that we trust that God will make things right. To consciously choose to not be angry, to forgive, to let go, to stop worrying and fretting, is an act of faith. Faith that God is good; that God is in charge; that God really does love us and want what's best for us.
"So let's review: Choosing to be unoffendable means choosing to be humble. Not only that, the practice teaches humility. Once you've decided you can't control other people; once you've reconciled yourself to the fact that the world, and its people, are broken; once you've realized your own moral failure before God; once you've abandoned the idea that your significance come from anything other than God, you're growing in humility, and that's exactly where God wants us all.
It's contrary to seemingly everything in our culture, but the more we divest ourselves of ourselves, the better our lives get. Jesus told us as much. He said if we'd give up our lives, for His sake, we'd find real life.
We we surrender our perceived 'rights,' when we let go of our attempts to manipulate, we find -- surprise! -- joy.
...
He [God] wants to be in control. And you know what? I want Him to be. This hasn't always been the case. I think I can trust Him. I don't need to control things anymore. There's so much less at stake when I let go, so much less of me to defend, so much less of 'my way' to get in the way and feed my anger.
What a relief. God tells us to die to ourselves, and get rid of anger, for a reason. He loves us.
Why am I so stressed? Why do I need to pretend I can control people? Why do I need to make myself 'significant'? Why do I need to assess other people spiritually? Why am I always trying to assess myself spiritually? Why do I need to defend myself?
God is my defender. He's in control. And no, I don't know where I'm going, but I know He loves me." (pp. 198-200)
"Yes, the world is broken. But don't be offended by it. Instead, thank God that He's intervened in it, and He's going to restore it to everything it was meant to be. His kingdom is breaking through, bit by bit. Recognize it, and wonder at it.
War is not exceptional; peace is. Worry is not exceptional; trust is. Decay is not exceptional, restoration is. Anger is not exceptional; gratitude is. Selfishness is not exceptional; sacrifice is. Defensiveness is not exceptional; love is.
And judgmentalism is not exceptional...
But grace is.
Recognize our current state, and then replace the shock and anger with gratitude. Someone cuts you off on your commute? Just expect it. No big deal. Let it drop, and then be thankful for the person, that exceptional person, who lets you merge. See the human heart for what it is, adjust expectations, and be grateful not angry.
When you see, in the midst of all this mess, beautiful glimpses of God's kingdom, defined by love, breathe it in." - from Unoffendable: How just one change can make all of life better by Brandt Hansen (pp. 40-41)
The thesis of this book is that we, as Christians, do not have a right to our anger. This is hardly a new theological idea, yet in our current culture, anger even (especially?) among Christians is not only prevalent but accepted. Instead of being radically loving people, embracing others to show them the love of Jesus, because we know we are just as messed up as anyone else, I see so many Christians begin consumed by anger at those others who don't live up to their personal standards or believe the wrong things or voted for the wrong person. You'd almost think that anger was listed as one of the fruits of the Spirit.
Mr. Hansen does a pretty darn good job of laying out why anger is not a part of a Christian life and the dangers hanging onto anger poses. But as I read, I kept wondering if he was going to go past anger.
You see, in my parenting of children who have been hurt, I have learned that anger is easy. It is far, far easier to be angry than to address what is really going on. More often than not, what is usually going on is some pretty deep seated fear. Admitting and feeling afraid is pretty hard. In comparison, being angry feels a lot better and requires less of the person who is angry. Anger says, "It's not my fault," but fear quietly whispers in the background, "But what if it is?"
Mr. Hansen does reach this point in his book. Ultimately, a Christian's anger at someone else or at what they see as an immoral society is also based in fear. Fear that God is not really who He says He is, or fear that God either cannot or will not make things right, or fear that God doesn't really love the person who is angry, or (perhaps the deepest fear of all) fear that God isn't even really there.
Because giving up our anger means that we trust that God will make things right. To consciously choose to not be angry, to forgive, to let go, to stop worrying and fretting, is an act of faith. Faith that God is good; that God is in charge; that God really does love us and want what's best for us.
"So let's review: Choosing to be unoffendable means choosing to be humble. Not only that, the practice teaches humility. Once you've decided you can't control other people; once you've reconciled yourself to the fact that the world, and its people, are broken; once you've realized your own moral failure before God; once you've abandoned the idea that your significance come from anything other than God, you're growing in humility, and that's exactly where God wants us all.
It's contrary to seemingly everything in our culture, but the more we divest ourselves of ourselves, the better our lives get. Jesus told us as much. He said if we'd give up our lives, for His sake, we'd find real life.
We we surrender our perceived 'rights,' when we let go of our attempts to manipulate, we find -- surprise! -- joy.
...
He [God] wants to be in control. And you know what? I want Him to be. This hasn't always been the case. I think I can trust Him. I don't need to control things anymore. There's so much less at stake when I let go, so much less of me to defend, so much less of 'my way' to get in the way and feed my anger.
What a relief. God tells us to die to ourselves, and get rid of anger, for a reason. He loves us.
Why am I so stressed? Why do I need to pretend I can control people? Why do I need to make myself 'significant'? Why do I need to assess other people spiritually? Why am I always trying to assess myself spiritually? Why do I need to defend myself?
God is my defender. He's in control. And no, I don't know where I'm going, but I know He loves me." (pp. 198-200)
Comments
I have a lot of internal rage and cognitive dissonance, is what I'm saying. :-(