Delayed academics
A friend mentioned she wanted some encouragement that relaxed homeschooling wasn't going to ruin her daughter. I am happy to oblige.
First, because I know that not everyone here reading this is a homeschooler, a definition. Relaxed homeschooling (at least what I call relaxed homeschooling) focuses mainly on non-text book, non-traditional learning. This means that we learn things by following our interests, doing hands-on projects, reading (a lot), and understanding that learning happens all the time. It also means that while we might use text books, we are not slaves to them. They are just another resource for us. Going hand in hand with all of that is the idea that formal academics do not need to happen at 4 or 5 or even 6. I am a firm believer that letting little children play and explore for as long as possible is a very good thing. It is how they learn; it is how they make sense of the world.
What this looks like in real life is that I don't ask my children to do much in the way of formal learning (ie arithmetic or reading) until they are 7 and in second grade. Oh sure, we may play around with things... learning to count, learning to write numbers, recognize letters, learn their sounds... but it is done in extremely short lessons, often determined by the child's mood that day. Those first few years of school in our house look pretty loosey-goosey to someone who is only used to a child entering an academic kindergarten at age five.
The trouble lies when you start comparing children and jumping systems. Children in a formal academic setting from an early age, do learn to read before my children do. If I had to enroll my children in school before late grade school, I am quite sure that the school would look at my children and see utter failure, as my children would have been perceived as being so far behind their age mates. Thankfully I never had to do that.
My children were learning a lot, just not the exact same things at the exact same time as the children in traditional school. They were learning different things, and as I have said before, different is not better or worse, it is just different.
I was thinking about this over the past couple of days as I watched G. and L. They will be in fourth grade this fall. Last year, at the beginning of third grade, both of them could sound out words, but those words needed to be phonetically regular and it took a long time. I do not kid myself that they were reading at a level of most traditionally schooled kindergarteners.
This is where experience becomes helpful. I have watched my other children become extremely good readers, but most of them didn't really start reading well until 8 or 9, but when they did start to read, they took off. G. and L. have been no different. This past year, they have gradually increased their reading abilities, and this summer everything clicked. G. is currently reading the first Harry Potter book, while L. has finished the first Redwall book, and is half way through the second. And they are enjoying them, which to me, is the most important piece.
If you look up the lexile score for these books, you will find that they are rated between 5th and 7th grades. This means that my children, who at the beginning of the year would have been considered years behind academically, have now jumped to reading a two or three grade levels ahead of their assigned grade.
I don't share this to brag, but to ask you to consider its implications. It took my girls about nine months to learn how to read, once they were old enough and we really started working on it. And that's not nine months to get to reading easy chapter books, that's nine months to pretty much being able to read anything they are interested in. Why do we push reading so early when it takes longer and children aren't ready for it? Why create problems where there might not be any if we waited for more maturity.
Now, I have friends whose children have fought hard to learn to read due to extreme dyslexia. When I talk about reading problems not being there if we were to wait, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about very young children who just aren't ready for formal academics just because the calendar and school schedule says they should be.
I'm also convinced that the same holds true for math. Why push things when you can wait until the child is really ready? Why spend years trying to teach a child the same things over and over, when you can wait and teach it when they are ready to learn. (Textbooks spiral a lot. I've been able to skip entire grades, and no one has suffered from it. For example, doing grade 3, 5, and 7 in math. There is very little brand new in each grade.)
In case there is any doubt, just because we weren't doing early academics and textbooks, doesn't mean that we weren't learning. We were learning a lot about the world and how it works, its history, geography, and its people. My children were playing and exploring and moving their bodies. They were listening to hundreds, if not thousands of books, and the millions of words necessary to become a good reader.
A good foundation for learning takes time, but it is easier to build on a strong foundation than a week or absent one. Remember, it is never to late to learn something, but sometimes it is far too early.
First, because I know that not everyone here reading this is a homeschooler, a definition. Relaxed homeschooling (at least what I call relaxed homeschooling) focuses mainly on non-text book, non-traditional learning. This means that we learn things by following our interests, doing hands-on projects, reading (a lot), and understanding that learning happens all the time. It also means that while we might use text books, we are not slaves to them. They are just another resource for us. Going hand in hand with all of that is the idea that formal academics do not need to happen at 4 or 5 or even 6. I am a firm believer that letting little children play and explore for as long as possible is a very good thing. It is how they learn; it is how they make sense of the world.
What this looks like in real life is that I don't ask my children to do much in the way of formal learning (ie arithmetic or reading) until they are 7 and in second grade. Oh sure, we may play around with things... learning to count, learning to write numbers, recognize letters, learn their sounds... but it is done in extremely short lessons, often determined by the child's mood that day. Those first few years of school in our house look pretty loosey-goosey to someone who is only used to a child entering an academic kindergarten at age five.
The trouble lies when you start comparing children and jumping systems. Children in a formal academic setting from an early age, do learn to read before my children do. If I had to enroll my children in school before late grade school, I am quite sure that the school would look at my children and see utter failure, as my children would have been perceived as being so far behind their age mates. Thankfully I never had to do that.
My children were learning a lot, just not the exact same things at the exact same time as the children in traditional school. They were learning different things, and as I have said before, different is not better or worse, it is just different.
I was thinking about this over the past couple of days as I watched G. and L. They will be in fourth grade this fall. Last year, at the beginning of third grade, both of them could sound out words, but those words needed to be phonetically regular and it took a long time. I do not kid myself that they were reading at a level of most traditionally schooled kindergarteners.
This is where experience becomes helpful. I have watched my other children become extremely good readers, but most of them didn't really start reading well until 8 or 9, but when they did start to read, they took off. G. and L. have been no different. This past year, they have gradually increased their reading abilities, and this summer everything clicked. G. is currently reading the first Harry Potter book, while L. has finished the first Redwall book, and is half way through the second. And they are enjoying them, which to me, is the most important piece.
If you look up the lexile score for these books, you will find that they are rated between 5th and 7th grades. This means that my children, who at the beginning of the year would have been considered years behind academically, have now jumped to reading a two or three grade levels ahead of their assigned grade.
I don't share this to brag, but to ask you to consider its implications. It took my girls about nine months to learn how to read, once they were old enough and we really started working on it. And that's not nine months to get to reading easy chapter books, that's nine months to pretty much being able to read anything they are interested in. Why do we push reading so early when it takes longer and children aren't ready for it? Why create problems where there might not be any if we waited for more maturity.
Now, I have friends whose children have fought hard to learn to read due to extreme dyslexia. When I talk about reading problems not being there if we were to wait, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about very young children who just aren't ready for formal academics just because the calendar and school schedule says they should be.
I'm also convinced that the same holds true for math. Why push things when you can wait until the child is really ready? Why spend years trying to teach a child the same things over and over, when you can wait and teach it when they are ready to learn. (Textbooks spiral a lot. I've been able to skip entire grades, and no one has suffered from it. For example, doing grade 3, 5, and 7 in math. There is very little brand new in each grade.)
In case there is any doubt, just because we weren't doing early academics and textbooks, doesn't mean that we weren't learning. We were learning a lot about the world and how it works, its history, geography, and its people. My children were playing and exploring and moving their bodies. They were listening to hundreds, if not thousands of books, and the millions of words necessary to become a good reader.
A good foundation for learning takes time, but it is easier to build on a strong foundation than a week or absent one. Remember, it is never to late to learn something, but sometimes it is far too early.
Comments
This is Patricia Alfredson.
I thought I was the only one who advocated for unschooling.
Love reading your blog.
Nice to hear from you. I'm not sure we are really unschoolers. There is plenty of mom-directed work and mom-devised schedules during the day. We're just kind of relaxed about it all.
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One of my kids was a super late reader. He didn't take off until after hitting double digits. I wish I could have back the hours I spent worrying that he'd never read. He starts high school next month, and has handled the transition to private school better than I dared to hope.