Ordinary Time

Today was the day for what has become another Thanksgiving tradition... Driving to Iowa and picking up our side of beef for the year. My brother raises cows for beef and every year we buy a side from him. When it's ready, we meet halfway between our houses to do the transfer. We've done this for quite a few years. Last year, as we (me, J., my brother, and sister-in-law) were standing in the cold parking lot of a gas station, chatting and catching up, we had the (rather obvious in hindsight) thought that we could also combine this with lunch at a restaurant together. It would be easier to visit and make a nicer break before getting back in the car and driving home.  So that's what we did this year and it was lovely. Even though we live just six hours apart, because we both have quite a few farm-type animals, it can be hard to get away. Our lunch at the state line was a perfect solution. It is a tradition we will continue.  Once home, I stored the beef in the freezer rather e...

We've had a lovely two days. Yesterday we were 23 people for dinner, which I've now learned is the absolute maximum I can get at one table if we completely dismantle the living room. While I did organize food preparation, I didn't actually do any cooking. Pretty much the entire meal was made by G., L., and Y. And they did a great job. G. is also who made the nine dozen rolls we needed the day before Thanksgiving. My best parenting suggestion is to teach your children to make a decent white sauce; it will pay off in the long term. Pies... all seven of them... were made by W and MC. Today we went to our favorite cut-your-own tree place and cut our tree. It was pretty chilly and did not linger dithering about which tree to get. The rest of the day was filled with games and more food.  I took no pictures. These are from other people. I also forgot to take a picture of the table before dinner. You'll just have to take my word for it that it looked very nice.  It turns out Y....

Ah, nothing says the holidays have arrived like a total meltdown on the part of a child. In my younger parenting years, this would have sent me spiraling as well. The thoughts running through my head would include: Why is this happening? What did I do wrong? What if it continues through the actual holiday? How will we navigate a ruined holiday if this continues? What if the child never stops melting down?  What will others think?  There's probably more, but you get the gist. A meltdown was seen as total failure and a ruined holiday. I can sympathize with my younger self a bit, because I didn't have the skills and perspective I do now, but also I just want to say stop it with the catastrophic thinking and get a grip. It's just a meltdown, not the end of the world.  Because it wasn't the end of the world, then or now. And it certainly wasn't a harbinger of a ruined holiday... then or now. The only person who can ruin a holiday is themselves. If I allowed the child in ...

When cold weather hit last year, we weren't really prepared, scrambling to get heated buckets in and sorting horse coats. Then I discovered that not only didn't I have a coat for Major, but I had gotten rid of Emmy's (because it was falling apart) with the intent that I would buy a new one on sale in the spring. Of course I forgot this which is why I was texting my neighbor to see if she had any extra coats.  This year we are more on top of things. The blankets are all out and I have ordered one for Buddy which should arrive within the week. (He didn't have a blanket at his former home as he has a remarkable amount of har, but since he is also nearly 30 a coat seems in order.) The heated buckets and in and the hoses are disconnected. I've also brought empty buckets up to the house in case we need to carry water. It feels calmer than last year. Of course, I still haven't done anything about a coat for myself. At the rate I'm going, it looks as though I will j...

I was so excited to be given a regular sized inkle loom because it would allow me to do bigger tablet woven bands. I nearly immediately put on a warp. At first things seemed to be going alright, but while the pattern looked interesting, it wasn't what I was expecting. The name of the draft is Dublin Dragons, but it took some real imagination to find any sort of dragon in the band. And then I realized that some sections were curling in on themselves, which I definitely didn't want.  I thought about this a lot, and decided that maybe my tension on the warp was too tight. That seemed as though it would help the curling, but I wasn't convinced it would make dragons appear. So I loosened the warp tension a pretty significant degree.  I'm happy to report that it did indeed fix the curling. I learned I need to be very careful because this pattern will curl if the warp is tensioned the least bit too tight. I was happy to figure out what was going wrong. But something else happe...

I realize that I do have a book recommendation to share with you. I'm now halfway through The Fifth Season by N. K. Jemisin. I had never read any of her books, though she has won multiple awards, so when I saw this book recommended in a list with other books I had enjoyed, I decided to try it. It's fantasy with some really interesting world building. I'm about halfway through now, grabbing the odd moment of reading to keep going with the story. I wasn't sure about it for the first quarter. I think that was because there is a lot that is not clear at first and a lot of characters to meet. You just have to be willing to hang in with the author and trust that eventually it will all start to feel a little clearer.  That's about where I am right now. I've gotten to know a few of the characters, am beginning to understand how this world works, but am absolutely clueless as to how the three different story lines are going to tie together. The other interesting thing is...

I honestly have no idea what to write this evening. Life just isn't that eventful at the moment. Note that I am not complaining about this, but a calm and peaceful existence doesn't make for varied blog fodder. And I don't really have any books I want to write about because I'm on a light and fluffy kick at the moment (no doubt in direct correlation to disturbing current events) and pretty much have only read Mrs. Polifax.  At dinner this evening, L. mentioned as an aside (I think it was L.) that authors should put more twins in their books. J. then commented that Shakespeare had quite a few sets of twins in his plays. And therein lies the very tenuous connection to the what I'm going to share. This is an old post, but I think it should be resurrected and be appreciated again.  Before I give you the link, you need to know the back story. There was a basement bathroom in the Big Ugly House. Due to the large number of very mature trees in the backyard, we would routin...

B. and HC drove to Ohio today to collect D. and bring him home for Thanksgiving. He has the whole week off which is wonderful.  Beginning on Monday, Thanksgiving cooking will begin in earnest. Today I hunted and gathered the last of the special ingredients that I can't get at Aldi, including a second turkey that is big enough. There will have to be some significant cleaning over the next few days as well, since we've all been kind of ignoring that aspect of life.  So, I don't know about you, but it's at this point where I feel as though I need to fasten my seatbelt and prepare for a significant acceleration of life. And that's with me having pared down our holiday essentials significantly. I both love it all and am also very glad when it is all done. 

After a bizarrely warm fall, winter made an appearance this morning. All of us were suddenly forced to remember how to dress for colder temperatures and digging around for hats and gloves. While we did get a bit of snow this morning, by evening the temperatures had risen just enough that it all started to melt and leave things very soggy. Is it too much to ask once the temperature does go down for it to stay there, with the ground nicely frozen, until spring and just do mud season once? Life with animals would be so much more pleasant.  As I was feeding horses this evening I noticed that the clouds through the stall doors were very dramatic. It felt very Renaissance painting-ish. See? (Ignore the muddy horse buns and review my comment about mud season.)

D. did some research the other day, he announced. He took a sampling of my past blog posts, did some counting, did some math, and came to the conclusion that my blog has approximately 2,798,500 words on it. He also pointed out that this is the equivalent of four copies of War and Peace put together. Except that I don't use many long and complicated names. I do the opposite of using single letters which sometimes change. I'm not sure which is more confusing.  And to go along with an ironically short post which will undoubtedly skew the average, here's a picture K. took as he rode his bike to work today. 

All I've really done this week is make market bags. They're not difficult, I'm liking how they're turning out, and goodness knows I have an endless supply of feed bags, but I find making the same thing (even with slight variations) over and over and over to be dispiriting.  I gave myself permission to spend yesterday working on a weaving project because I desperately needed something different. I threaded the loom yesterday and was able to start weaving this afternoon. I'm going to show you just a little sneak peak, but then I'm going to have to be good and not show any more for the time being. But how can I not share just a taste of this? It was so much fun to weave because I love watching the cloth that appears. But now that I have gotten to this point, I need to force myself to finish the bags and get everything ready for the artisan sale before I go back to it. I think that it will prove to be very motivating.

It's always nice when children create things that I can share and use as a blog post.  K. has become interested in video editing, so I decided to take advantage of that fact and asked him to create a video with some of the animals here on the farm. I think he did a terrific job. K. also decided that he would like to learn to do watercolors, so has been doing a bit of painting this school year. Here is the painting he did this afternoon. And Y. has also been making things. Here are a few of the pumpkins she crocheted so our church could use them as centerpieces for their monthly community dinner. This is her own design. She has an amazing ability to look at something and intuitively understand how to crochet it 

It's late, so this will be short. One thing J. and I absolutely love is spending time with our adult children. Tonight W. and MC had invited us over to their house for dinner. We had a lovely meal and a chance to visit with them both.  As much as I loved raising my babies and young children, it's just as wonderful to enjoy them as adults. And as for all those dire warnings that are thrown at parents about how you only get 940 Saturdays with your child and other similar statistics... well, they lie. Sure there might be 940 Saturdays until your child turns 18, but that doesn't mean your parenting role is finished. It just means that it's different. I still get to spend time with my children, it's just different. Different isn't better or worse, remember.  Relationships don't end when a child turns 18, but fear mongering statistics can make a parent so stressed, they can't appreciate what is in front of them. Appreciate the child you have right now. 

This was the view that greeted me when I turned around to head to the barn after gathering hay nets. Though it wasn't quite sunset, the moon was huge and bright, just hovering over the tops of the trees. It was beautiful.  Here's my reminder for you as we navigate the future which looks increasingly grim. Don't let the worry steal your joy of the present. Appreciate the small things... those minor miracles of beauty and joy... that are all around you throughout the day. Pause and acknowledge and appreciate them. Just breathe for a moment and be thankful you get to experience whatever caused you to pause.  Also remember that you can be angry and fearful while at the same time you can appreciate the good around you. You are not less committed to making the world a better place for all people by doing this. In fact, this will be precisely the thing that makes it possible to continue doing hard things of fighting against injustice and hate. In fact, to not do this, allows those...

I was at the local big box store last week buying important things such as dishwashing liquid, olive oil, and mayonnaise, when I noticed an end cap highlighting a sale item. Normally I don't pay much attention to the end cap sales became usually Aldi is still cheaper per item. This time however, I realized it was a very, very good sale.  For years, we have made our own hot chocolate mix. I bought the items we needed in bulk and it was cheaper per cup of cocoa than if I were to buy a mix. This past year I was informed that the farmer who hosted the bi-yearly bulk order was no longer going to be doing so. I'm general, this would be okay. I wasn't buying nearly as much with half the numbers to feed as in earlier years, but there were going to be some items for which it was going to be challenging to find an alternative source. Bulk cocoa powder and dried milk... essential ingredients for cocoa mix... were among those items. (Hard white wheat berries are the biggest casualty. W...

After 3 months, 41 sessions, and 7 families, I am happy to report that I am done with the hands-on research portion of my action research project. There is still all the number crunching and writing up to do, but that is what January is for. It feels like a major hurdle has been overcome and I am definitely feeling a great sense of relief. I have learned a lot and feel as though I have a very workable program for helping families with sibling conflict. I am definitely feeling very positive about the whole thing. Of course, it doesn't hurt when I receive comments such as, "I feel capable now with the tools your provided," and "I really enjoyed it at a personal level and not only for my kids' conflicts."  And yes, my records and notes are all handwritten. When I start actually writing up the research project I will use the computer, but in order to think I need physical records and I need to take handwritten notes. I'm sure long time readers aren't sur...

I've measured out a lot of warp over this past week. I find it to be a very soothing activity. It doesn't require a huge amount of concentration, but just enough that the hamster in my head can't completely take over. It requires some large hand movements that cross the midline because of needing to guide the yarn around the yard wide warping board. (And anytime you do something with your hands that crosses the midline, it can be very regulating because it activates both sides of the brain which is an integrating activity ) It's really fun and interesting to watch the colors change and see how they will look together. And you end up with nice chained warps at the all ready for the next step in the process to becoming cloth.  Here is the warp for the blanket I'm weaving for B. and HC., all 960 ends of it. Then I decided to keep going and measure the warp for another project. Because we're now entering what I call "the season to not ask questions", you m...

Last fall, before Vienna was crippled by laminitis, J. was watching her as she ran around the pasture, occasionally pausing to leap about, then go back to running. He watched her for a long time as she did her joyful dance. It was not much longer after that when we realized she was walking very tenderly and we began our very bad winter of over six weeks wondering if we were going to lose her.  She gradually improved and both vet and farrier were more than pleased with her progress. She had been walking fine and her feet looked good, but I wondered if we would ever see the truly joyfully exuberant pony again.  This evening as I walked up to the barn, I happened to see more movement then usual in the ponies' dry lot. Sometimes that means Buddy is being a bully, but this would be an unusual time for him to behave that way. And then I noticed it wasn't Buddy moving them both around, it was Vienna. She was leaping and running and doing her joyful pony dance for the first time in ne...

I have just finished binge reading A Well-Trained Wife: My Escape from Christian Patriarchy by Tia Levings. I'm not sure this was the optimal week to read it, but it was sure enlightening read along the way. I've had enough contact with conservative Christian patriarchy over the years and known enough women trapped in it to not be very much surprised at what the author has written. I have long suspected that more than a few Christian wives that I know are abused despite their smiling, happy exteriors. I have also always suspected that abuse of this sort and the dysfunctional attachment it engenders predisposes an entire population to the same type of gas lighting and abuse we see from the radical right. They are one and the same.  If you want insight into why we are where we are right now and see a picture of what men in these belief systems actually think about women, read this book. Knowledge is power. And to any woman who is caught in such a marriage reading here, I have a f...

This is a very different post than the one you would have been reading yesterday if I hadn't... wisely... decided I needed some space. I spend a lot of time in my EAL work teaching self-regulation skills as well as conflict resolution skills. It seems I needed to take a bit of my own advice.  Step number one in conflict resolution is to make sure your thinking brain is firmly on your head. My thinking brain was not very often on my head yesterday, and instead the emotional part of my brain was in full control. It wasn't pretty. Today there has been a bit more actual thinking. I am still angry and sad and scared, but those emotions are not driving my thoughts quite so much. I'll admit it has been a challenge to not let my overactive imagination begin spinning out of control, though. There has been a heck of a lot of focused breathing throughout the day as well.  Step number two is to share how you feel using 'I' statements. And this is where I'll land tonight. I ...

That would be of the Whisky Tango variety in case you weren't sure. I've spent the day alternating between completely numb and seething anger. I either have no words at all or so many words it's difficult to express myself. It's not the optimal place from which to write. Anything thoughts of any value will need to wait until I can think more clearly.  This evening many of our adult children felt the need just to be together so they came over for dinner. We laughed, we grieved, we reminded ourselves how much we love each other. It was good to do this.  If you are feeling similarly, perhaps you need something that will make you smile a bit. That is something I can provide for you. My daughter-in-law took this video of dinnertime for the sheep. 

Where to begin? How about with my new weaving project. I'm going to be making B. and HC a lightweight blanket as a wedding gift. They requested it be the colors which were in the bridal bouquets. I think I matched it pretty darn well. After quite a bit of thinking and fiddling, I now have a weave structure and a plan so I can begin measuring the warp anytime I have a free moment. Here is one of my charts so I know what I'm doing. This was not my first attempt. I thought I had completed it yesterday, but evidently something didn't seem quite right because I woke up this morning thinking about it. The numbers were just not adding up. I finally did figure out where I had gone wrong and redid my charts.  Sometimes weaving math makes my brain hurt. I think I have things all figured out, but then I realize I was making some sort of mistake and have to figure it out all over again. This will be a project with 960 ends to thread on the loom. While that is a fairly large number, it ...

I wanted to brag about my son-in-law, MC,  for a moment. He doubles as my designer and tech support for my business, for which I am extremely grateful. Not only do I not have to do any of it, but he is extremely talented as well.  A couple of weeks ago I sent him a very long email with some changes and additions I needed done on my website. I'm afraid these were no small things because he ended up needing to reconfigure more than a few parts to make it work. And as always, it looks fantastic!  So if you've never visited or haven't in a while, head over for a bit and admire his work. And if you wanted to share it with anyone you thought might be interested, I wouldn't mind that, either. (At least for the parent coaching, you don't need to be in my area because I do a lot of parent coaching remotely.)  Bittersweet Farm LLC 

Listening to the Mrs. Polifax books has been the perfect escape this past week. I know I mentioned them a few days ago, but maybe you need some escapist reading, too.  Set during the Cold War, Mrs. Polifax is a widow in her 60's whose two children are grown with families of their own. She realizes that she is so bored with her life that she decides to go to the CIA and apply to become a spy. Due to an unfortunate (or fortunate depending on your point of view) Mrs. Polifax becomes s a CIA courier on what is supposed to be a simple job. She is perfect for it because who would expect a 60+ year old grandmother to be a spy? This premise is upon which the entire series turns. Mrs. Polifax is charming and brave and intelligent and has the very happy knack of acquiring very interesting friends. Good fun is the best way to describe them.  A note of warning, though. The first book was published in 1966, so they are not recent. As a result, some of the verbiage, especially pertaining to...

I don't know about you, but the closer we get to November 5, the more my stress level increases. When I lay down in the other night, I realized that my shoulders ached from the amount of tension I am holding in them. And it doesn't help my ability to relax when the Republican candidate suggests that executing Liz Cheney is a good idea. Well, that doesn't surprise me, but the absolute silence from his party is staggering, as well as the absolute silence from his supporters. That is what I find terrifying. After years of being lied to, it seems his followers have lost any moral compass they might have once had. Oh, but I should amend the statement about his party. They did respond by saying he didn't say what he says, even though there is video that he said it.  J. and I have voted. Many of our children have already voted. K. voted for the first time. We have done what we can. It feels like so little. Lord have mercy.  You probably need to look at cat pictures now as much...