Normal
Let's talk about what is normal in parenting children with a trauma history. And just to remind you, all adoption involves trauma. Yes, even infant adoption. Ready? It is normal for the child to have an immature regulatory system. Things that children with stable backgrounds weather easily are difficult. It is normal for this regulatory system to be dysregulated much of the time. It is normal for a perpetually dysregulated child to melt down or rage over what seem to be trivial things. It is normal for the child to be non-compliance. It is normal for the child to lie and steal. It is normal for the child to be functional in settings which don't involve the parents. It is normal for children to be more dysregulated after being functional in the non-home setting. It is normal for the child to act both younger than their chronological age and also more sophisticated. Please note that I did not say all children who have experienced trauma will behave like this....