Expectations, fear, and frustration
Let's talk about expectations. I'm going to discuss them in terms of parenting, but if you are not a parent, I think it will be pretty easy to transfer the message into your life as well. This is because the simple message is that it is our expectations that get us into trouble and make us unhappy much of the time. Actually, to be precise, that would be our unmet expectations. I communicate with a lot of parents and frustration and feeling frustrated is often reported as a significant problem. This frustration often takes the form of anger or yelling. When people picture what they think they will be like as parents, being the angry yelling type rarely is imagined. I've lost track of the number of times I have heard a parent say, "I never thought I would be a yeller." It's not how parents really want to be, yet they still find themselves doing it. What's going on? Let's just get one false explanation out of the way. It's not because they are bad par...