Ordinary Time

I would like to know exactly where September went. It feels as though it zoomed by faster than is typical.  We finished our second week of school and my school plan seems to be working. Everyone has kept up with the individual work I have assigned, which is heartening. But with the youngest being 13 at the table in the morning, it feels as though it is a total crap shoot as to the level of engagement on any given morning. I never realized exactly how much the grade schoolers were driving the energy until this moment. We finished reading Something Rotten, the fourth Thursday Next book today. Because I only owned the first three, as we get to the next book, I've been ordering them from our local bookstore because they are something I will reread. I waited a bit too long to order the next one, so we may have to skip our teatime reading for a few days next week. Identifying R.'s anxiety over being cold has helped a bit, though there still have been some tough moments over the past ...

J. is in the background reading a Ladybug Magazine to R. It is part of a stack of magazines that I picked up today off our co-ops giveaway table. We subscribed to the Cricket Magazine Group magazines for years. From Babybug for babies to Cicada for the 14+ crowd, we had stacks of each magazine that would be read and reread until they fell apart. When it was time to pack to move, I made the hard decision to give away our collection to another family who would appreciate them. I think it was also at about that time... maybe a few years previous... that I let our subscriptions lapse. They are not inexpensive, though well worth the money, but finances were tight and I just couldn't justify the cost. Plus, we had those years of magazine to rely on. From there, I admit I sort of forgot about them.  I can't quite believe I forgot, because the day the new magazines arrived was always popular, with each child claiming dibs on their favorite and going and curling up with it. It was a fai...

Avocados were  on sale at Aldi last week for 50 cents each. This is a stock up price in my opinion, so that's what I did. I shared a picture on my Facebook page of me freezing them that garnered a lot interest, so I thought I'd write more about that here.  Avocados do freeze. I'm not sure they're great to use plain after freezing, but they make good guacamole. Here's what I do.  First, I freeze the peeled and pitted halves on a baking sheet lined with foil. I like using foil because it makes it easier to remove the frozen halves  I cover the avocados with plastic wrap before putting them in the freezer to stop them from turning brown. Then freeze them for at least 24 hours. This is what they looked like when I took them out of the freezer today. There's a little frost around the edges, but still green! Then I put them all in a (labelled!) freezer bag and back into the freezer they go. To use them, I'll take what I need out of the bag, wrap them in plastic wr...

L. received several pounds of clay for her birthday in June, but hadn't felt inspired. Suddenly last week, inspiration struck again and she has been spending all her free time sculpting. (Her description, not mine.) Tonight she came down to dinner with paint splotches on her cheeks. Here are her latest creations. Most of the group Platypus Owl Axolotl  Fox (I really love the fox) A rather terrifying frog Dolphin Shark And a character from something. I was told, but it had no meaning for me. She has also made a fairly large and impressive dragon neck and head. I was not allowed to photograph it because it wasn't done being painted. Stay tuned.

Last Thursday, I began to teach twelve people (ages 8 to adult) to spin with a suspended spindle. It was... challenging. Not because it is a particularly tricky thing to do, but because I couldn't clone myself and help each person for as long as it would take to get them really spinning. Clearly, expecting to be able to run around and help everyone at once was not a workable game plan. So, I spent some time with the adult in the class helping her figure it out. She was going to then help her daughter who is also in the class. I work with G. and Y. over the weekend, so they are doing quite well. Plus, I showed another mother who has two boys in the class so she could help them. That takes care of six people who should be in better shape come Thursday which leaves me with just six more plus another adult who can help. I'm hoping that everyone will feel confident enough by the end of class on Thursday to be able to take their spindles home to practice. We'll see. I also though...

For someone who likes to build a fair bit of margin into her day, this past week has felt a little overwhelming. I reach the end of the day and am pretty exhausted. I haven't added anything to my schedule from usual... Oh wait... School. We began school this week and suddenly I am fully booked every morning from 9 to 12. Do you think that might have something to do with it? I hope I adjust because feeling like this for the entire school year is not filling me with joy. As an example of my current feeling of margin, I have read exactly zero books this weeks. (At a minimum, I usually finish as least one a week.) I have had a couple of days where I didn't work in my studio at all. (This is also unusual.)  And that's my post. I'm tired and feeling a distinct lack of disposable time. 

It has been a long, slow process to figure out all that was/is going on with R. The first few years were tough. Really, really tough as we got to know her and really just navigated all of her fear and disregulation. There was no order to it all, no cause and effect. We were all drowning in a turbulent sea of fear and reaction.  Then a few years ago we found the right combination of medicine that helped take the edge off her anxiety. Finally she had a little, tiny bit of margin where she could begin to feel our efforts to connect with her and make her feel safe. Much of her behavior was a mystery, but there were also moments of seeing things begin to sort themselves out and begin to make sense.  Over these past few years she has continued to stabilize. She can feel comfort when she sits next to us and not spiral out of control. She exhibits significantly more regulated behavior so that we do have some idea of what to expect from day to day. We all began to really get to know ea...

Last Sunday TM texted me and J. a photo of a bowl of phở with a message saying that he needed to take us out to dinner at this Vietnamese restaurant he found. Dinner out? With one of our children? Vietnamese food? It took me about two seconds to accept the offer. Tonight was the date and we had a lovely dinner with TM and a friend of his. And the food... We love Vietnamese food. We try to make some ourselves, but it is rare to find food that matches what we had on our trips to Vietnam. Even now, sixteen years later, it takes very little for the family members who have been there to spend more than a little time reminiscing about our favorite meals there .  When we were in Evanston, we had multiple Vietnamese restaurants that we enjoyed going to... a couple little hole in the wall places and some more upscale restaurants. I had actual Vietnamese markets nearby where we could stock up on favorite snacks and vegetables. And I admit I took it all for granted. Then we moved out here wh...

I spend a fair bit of time these days on Zoom discussing equine facilitated interactions with people in Britain. It makes me think of the this Carol Burnett and Maggie Smith duet, which I feel deeply. Enjoy! This seems the perfect way to spend the middle of the week.

As I have mentioned, we began our official school yesterday morning making today our second day. Not much has changed about our morning, so people pretty easily fell back into the rhythm. The biggest difference is that they each have a list of things they are required to do on their own with a calendar to keep track of those things. We'll see how it it goes. The first year doing this is always a little rocky. But back to how the actual mornings went. Yesterday, everyone was up and ready to go with animal chores completed (including myself). We got through everything on my list with no problem, and in general, things went smoothly. Except... the whole morning felt much like a comedian must feel when the house never laughs. Everyone was at the table, but the level of engagement was low to non-existent. On the other hand, no one complained about what was going to be required of them, either. I'll admit it did feel a little disheartening and in my 26 years of homeschooling this was...

The first day of school went well in that there were no tears. There was some difficulty in remembering how to diagram sentences but that wasn't surprising. Since today was a very light day, I'll probably have more interesting things to share tomorrow. In the meantime, it's Monday, the one day you all get to wade through pictures and descriptions of fiber crafts that you aren't actually interested in. Let's start with the knitting. I did get a good chunk done on the sleeves of my sweater as we were driving in the car. I kind of forgot exactly how large sleeves actually are. Plus, they get bigger and bigger as you work your way up the sleeve, so that it feels as if you are knitting slower and slower. I do get a good chunk of knitting done during the last two hours of co-op while R. rests next to me, so I'm hopeful they will be done soon. The best decision I made was to knit both sleeves at the same time. This means that I have both sleeves cast onto my needles, e...

Well, tomorrow morning, ready or not, we start school. I think we're ready. The first day is always a type of syllabus day where we go over the schedule, I explain how school will work this year, I pass out the supplies everyone will need, etc. There are varying degrees of excitement from the masses. Math seems to be the tipping point; the reason any given child is or is not excited by starting school. We'll see how well my experiment of a page of math a day over summer works out as far as getting back into the swing of things. I'm keeping my expectations very low at the moment. The pile of things to either show or to pass out in the morning. This is everything we'll be using minus the library books that I'll check out as we come to them and the streaming Great Courses videos we'll be watching. This year four of the six will have weekly assignments that they will need to complete on their own. In a general sense, this is a good thing. It is good to learn to be r...

I've written before about my issues with a Reactive Attachment Order (RAD) diagnosis ; that it is overused and the prevalence of associating RAD with all challenging behavior seen by adoptive families both dilutes those who are actually dealing with it and puts an onus of blame on the hurt child. A couple of weeks ago I came across another symptom of the RAD fad that I have been sitting with and am now ready to write about it in a somewhat sane way. (Well, we'll see about the sane part, won't we?) First some history if you do not know me. For the past sixteen years we have been parenting children who come from some very hard backgrounds. The first five of those years, I was not the optimum parent and instead of helping, I was definitely contributing to the problems we were seeing though I didn't realize it (or actually want to own up to and change if I'm honest). Then due to some significant events, I was forced to confront my part in the whole thing. It wasn't ...

Over our trip to Yellowstone, I finished the book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman. It was recommended by one of my friends who is a librarian and often has good books to suggest. This one was very good and very thought provoking.  It's been a week and I'm not sure I'm up for thoughtful musings, so instead I'll share a couple of quotes from this book that I find interesting. Feel free to discuss. "In start-up jargon, the way to make a fortune in Silicon Valley is to identify a 'pain point' -- one of the small annoyances resulting from (more jargon) the 'friction' of daily life -- and then to offer a way to circumvent it. Thus Uber eliminates the 'pain' of having to track down a number for your local taxi company and call it, or trying to hail a cab from the street; digital wallet apps like Apple Pay remove the 'pain'  of having to reach into your bag for your physical wallet or cash. The food delive...

We don't actually start our school schedule until Monday, but today was the beginning of our homeschool co-op for the year. Everyone was very excited to begin and to see friends. I'm teaching three classes this year: Creative Writing, Sheep to Scarf, and Knitting for Beginners. I enjoy teaching them and it allows me to pay for the classes my people are taking that I'm not teaching. Yesterday as I was getting the final bags packed for my classes, I was very grateful for the hours I put into planning before heading to Yellowstone. It made for a couple of fairly crazy weeks, but it did certainly make yesterday and today go much more smoothly. I'm sure I will think that same thing on Monday when we sit down to begin school again. I do have some things to finish up over the weekend. I have copying to do so everyone has all the materials and information they need. I need to plan K.'s Afghanistan independent study, and I need to make a couple of new activity boxes for R. T...

We made it home yesterday about dinner time after two long days of driving. Everything was fine at home and we are grateful for our house sitter who kept all the animals alive and well. Kenzie did not make things easy for her, poor anxious, old dog. But even that was navigated. Some thoughts about our trip. Traveling with children ages 13 and up is a whole different thing from traveling with younger children. Everyone did great and I don't think we heard the question, "Are we there yet?" even once. Traveling with children ages 13 and up means that sometimes someone will have a moment. The trick is to let them have their moment and don't let it ruin the day. Recovery usually comes more quickly if it is not made into a big deal. Over the years we have driven to Arizona more than a few times, often along the route which followed old Route 66. I thought this particular route had its share of traveling kitsch. Well... I-90 wins hands down, particularly the stretch heading ...

Today is P.'s 22nd birthday. We'll have a real celebration for her when we get back, but for the actual day, we headed to Grand Tetons National Park. It was actually quite a bit of driving when all was said and done.  To get to the Tetons, we took one last drive through Yellowstone. As we went there was one side road we had kept meaning to take, but missing for various reasons. I am so glad we took Firehole Canyon Drive because in a park full of beautiful sights, I think this may have been one of the most beautiful. It had steep canyon walls, waterfalls, and a wide area where you could swim. It would have been fun to just be able to relax and enjoy it for a while. Actually, that is how we felt about the whole park. We had another picnic at another beautiful picnic area. And after lunch we reached the Tetons. This was our first view. We stopped a couple of places and eventually ended up at Jenny Lake where we looked around for a bit. See what I mean about the endless beautiful s...