Why?

I just don't get it.  When did having a large family and enjoying raising children become morally suspect?  At least that the way it seems sometimes, especially when we are questioned by people in charge of things as to why we want to adopt again... really.  And because we are seemingly bizarre enough to enjoy children, all of our responses seem suspect.  It becomes somewhat trying to answer the same questions over again because our first answers were deemed unacceptable.  I'm sorry if we don't live down to some people's expectations, and that the reality is we are actually functioning, well-adjusted people.

At least we are currently well-adjusted.  As we go through this process of trying to bring H. home, outside pressures seem to be conspiring to change that.  I realize this may not be entirely clear to some of my readers, but I'm afraid to be more explicit on a public blog.  The ways of politics in our state cause me to be very cautious about what I say until our dossier is safely logged-in and working its way through another country's system.

This post may help to clarify a bit... or not.  The whole thing with our home study is very much vexing me at the moment.  If smaller families didn't sail through the process without a second glance, it probably wouldn't bother me so much. 

I am not feeling serene or fearless right now.