Invitation

You all know that I dislike advertising and try to limit my exposure to it. I tend not to watch television which means I get to miss the ads which go along with it. In my social media I delete or block pretty much any sponsored item or promotion that comes across my feed. I listen to either the classical music station  or NPR, neither or which play a lot of advertisements. Probably the place I view the most advertisements is on the tollway along the stretch with the endless billboards. I really enjoy my lack of exposure to advertisements. Sometimes, though, I do catch something here or there which catches my eye and is where I'm leading with all of this. And I can't even tell you what the advertisement was for except that it was some sort of store because I clicked through to the block page before seeing the rest of the text. What I did see was, "Simplify your life, buy ___." 

If this doesn't sum up our material age, I don't know what does. In my personal bubble, simplifying means more of learning you don't need all the stuff that is constantly thrown at you. Shopping and stuff is a pretty poor substitute for purpose and connection, but you won't find any advertisers shilling for that unless they can figure out a way to commodify it. This is probably why the book excerpt I'm about to share with you struck a nerve. This is from Having People Over: A modern guide to planning, throwing, and attending every type of party by Chelsea Fagan.

"While I am always game for blaming problems on capitalism -- which I very much also do in this situation -- I don't like framing issues in a way that removes our own agency. Yes, we live in a social context that is built to separate us and make us increasingly reliant on for-profit replacements for what used to be social fabric. But that does not mean we have no tools to fight back or to make those relationships the foundation of our lives again. That reality of capitalism doesn't mean we should rule out other culprits, like the explosion of screen time among the same younger generation who are so isolated. And in my view, it isn't just a nice thing to build and maintain stronger social connections; it also gives us a major escape hatch out of the consumption-obsessed culture that's partially responsible for getting us here. The more profound relationships we have, the more loved and fulfilled we feel, and the less we need to mindlessly buy.

It is also true, however, that we need to treat building and keeping those relationships as a proactive task, because everything around us is trying to tear them down." (pp. 156 - 157)

I checked out this book not because I needed to learn how to invite people over, but to help me remember to do so. Before we moved, I invited people over all the time. We hosted large parties, small parties, we had people over for dinner, both simple and fancy. Inviting people to join our loud and unusual family was just what we did. Having an outrageously big house did help in this. I never ever wondered where I was going to put everyone. Then we moved. The combination of a smaller house and no one to invite, combined with some really difficult parenting years, moved us out of the habit. The times we did invite people over seemed harder in some ways because I hadn't done it enough in this new space to feel comfortable. I needed to make new entertaining habits, but never did it enough to make it as easy as it once was. 

My goal is to change that. I know people now. There is no reason to not invite people into our home. It may not be as large as the Big Ugly House was, but if I can have 30 people for Thanksgiving, anything smaller should be a breeze. I just have to remember to issue the invitation. I challenge you to being inviting people into your homes and lives as well. We are a very disconnected society right now. The only way to begin to fix it is to begin to recreate connections and focus on community and cooperation. Someone always has to make the first move. Let it be you.