Surprises

Yesterday J. and I were each busy doing various things so R. took herself off to her room. I was aware of her digging around in the bin of Duplos. I didn't think anything of it, as she'll often dig around looking for one of the few favorite figures that she likes to carry around. What I wasn't expecting was when she came into the studio to show me what she had built. 


This, in case you can't tell, is a house (zoo?) with different rooms for her favorite Duplo animals. I think perhaps I was speechless for a moment and then double checked that this was her own creation. I was probably speechless again for a moment. 

While R. is very good at entertaining herself, she has about five different activities that she enjoys and will play with for hours. I try very hard to get her to switch things up throughout the day, but it is really just a theme and variation. We have never seen her choose to build something without direct instruction and support. I honestly didn't think this was a possibility at this point I'm time. 

I am more than happy to be proved wrong, but I am also not getting my hopes up that this will be repeated. Sometimes we see little blips of greater intellectual capacity, but they aren't repeated. A brain that has sustained R.'s level of damage is a very mysterious thing. I have myself permission a long time ago to let go of the idea I needed to keep pushing her to make progress. It wasn't fair to her, it wasn't fair to me, and it wasn't good for our relationship. Sometimes you just have to love and accept the child in front of you just as they are. I do appreciate... probably even more so now... when she surprises me with something like her building. Actually, this is true for every parent and child, isn't it? Aren't we all more balanced and loving to our children if we let go of all the 'shoulds' that we saddle ourselves with? 

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