The trouble with moving

Well, there are actually a lot of difficulties that come with a big move. Many of these I feel as though we have weathered and are finally at a place where we are rebuilding our social network. This struck me forcibly from our little month of seizures in December with R. I had (new) friends who checked in on me, sent me surprise Amazon gift certificates, and (tonight) brought us dinner. We also had our visit with our regular doctor today which seems to be a requirement. But I've now seen this doctor enough that I didn't dread the appointment. Instead, he listened to my take if woe, especially in regards to the psychiatrist, and told me I was right. (And we all know how much I like to be right.) He even apologized that a fellow doctor had done that. It was... healing.

So things here are actually pretty good. What's hard about moving is not only the leaving of good friends (which is terrible, actually), but what's really foremost in my thoughts tonight is how difficult it is to maintain those relationships at a distance. Especially if you are not good at correspondence or talking on the phone. As much as I'd like to keep up with people, there just aren't enough hours in the day to do so.

I'm pondering this because I received the news today that a long time friend passed away at the new year. She was the accompanist with the children's choir I directed. She had already been with them for quite a few years when I took over the director job, and truth be known, working with her was what I was most nervous about. But it didn't take long for us to become good friends and we worked together for fourteen years. She was brilliant, could play circles around me, and an added bonus she was willing to share her experiences as a transplanted Japanese woman which gave me insight into my children and their experiences. We would discuss music, children (hers and mine), languages, bring Asian, not being Asian, and anything else that came to mind. Truly the best part of directing the children's choir was getting to know her and call her my friend. 

Once we moved, we didn't see each other as often. When I did see her, it was so easy to pick up where we had left off, catching each other up on what we had each missed. And now we won't have even those infrequent meetings anymore. It makes me grieve not only the loss of my friend, but of the time we missed because we lived further apart. 

Life is bittersweet, isn't it?

Comments

Sally said…
It is bittersweet indeed. We are all sin shock at the loss of this dear woman.
1/05/2023 9:01 PM
jan ranger said…
yes, it is.
1/05/2023 9:41 PM
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