Volcanoes and mental health

Today we learned about volcanoes and why they explode. In areas of the earth's crust where either plates meet or the crust is rather thin, the molten magma can rise and hang out in chambers where it is under great pressure. This pressure is what keeps the gasses trapped in the magma stable, much like how the cap on a soda bottle keeps the CO2 from escaping. Sometimes though, there is a weakness in the earth's crust which releases a little of that pressure so some of the gas escapes, causing cracks in the crust which allows more gas to escape. When the gas builds up enough it can explode causing a volcanic eruption such as what happened with Mt. Saint Helens. 

Why this brief geology lesson? Because in some ways people are very much like walking unexploded volcanoes, letting the pressure build and build and build until a crack appears and everything explodes.

The adoption community has been devastated by the tragic death of one of its members over the weekend. She was a well-respected supporter of adoption and adoptees. If it were a natural death it would be heart-breaking, but this was a tragedy of epic proportions. A tragedy that it is terribly difficult to begin to comprehend and a level of grief for the immediate family that doesn't seem to be bearable. 

I do not know details and I will not speculate on anything, but here is what I want to say. Do not be a volcano. Do not let your anger, fear, pain, whatever, build up to such proportions that you explode in devastating ways taking others with you. It is not a sign of weakness to seek help if you are struggling. It is perhaps the strongest thing you can do. Some things are not a pull-yourself-up-by-the-bootstraps kind of problem. If you needed your appendix out, would you do it yourself? A brain in need of help is truly no different than an appendix. There is help available. Listen to your loved ones if you won't listen to your own body. 

If you are living with someone who is a volcano about to explode, it is okay to seek help for yourself and if necessary remove yourself and your children from the situation until it is safe. Too often I have seen conservative Christians advise spouses in difficult situations to just stick it out, that this is being Godly. This is not Godly, this is stupidity. Removing yourself from an unsafe situation is not giving up on your marriage, it is setting a high value on your own worth and may be the only action that will have a positive effect. If you find yourself saying over and over and over, "I think things are getting better," there is a very good chance that they are not getting better. If they were, you wouldn't need to convince yourself of the fact. Please, do not stay if you and/or your children are not safe. 

Please, please, please, if you need help, let someone know. Do not become a statistic. Do not become the next tragedy. 

• National Crisis Hotline: Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a Crisis Counselor - https://www.crisistextline.org/ • National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 800-273-8255 - https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ • Resources to find an adoption-competent therapist: https://creatingafamily.org/adoption/resources/finding-adoption-therapist/

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