Monday, December 10, 2007

One more step down

We are still waiting for the Dong Nai officials to complete their end of our paperwork, but the US Embassy has been moving ahead on their end. For those of you who don't obsessively keep up with the state of adoptions in Vietnam, you have missed quite a roller coaster ride. Sadly, some agencies who work in Vietnam are more concerned with their own bottom line than with the well-being of the children who come into their care or the prospective adoptive parents who hire them. As a result, the US Embassy felt it was necessary to investigate the status of more than a few of the children for whom visas were applied, and even denied some, causing the parents to have to leave Vietnam without their children. In order to avoid future occurrences of this scenario, new regulations have been put in place. Parents need to apply for the child's visa before they travel and the adoption occurs. This way, if there is anything questionable about the situation, all parties involved know before hand. So, we applied for K's visa as instructed and have been waiting for that approval as well. I was so grateful to find good news in my inbox this morning. The US Embassy in Hanoi has notified us that we have preliminary approval for K's visa and that we are welcome to travel. If only...

Aside from adoption drama, life continues to go on. It is all Christmas all the time here. The tree is up, the house is decorated, and Christmas carols are on the stereo. The little boys have been getting into the spirit of the season, often singing to themselves as they go about their day. While it is wonderful to listen to, I think we need to work on some of the words. At the moment, D seems to be under the impression that the chorus to "O Come All Ye Faithful" is "O come let us play baseball", giving me recurring visions of Little League teams visiting the stable and offering gifts of baseballs and mitts.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Monday, December 03, 2007

Reader Question

I just noticed that Jena had asked me a question in a comment on my post about obedience. As I was writing my reply to here, I thought maybe others would be interested in my answer as well. Here it is:

I just noticed your comment on my blog, sorry it it's been a while since you asked your question! There are a couple of things we do to encourage first time obedience. One tactic I use regularly, and probably works best for grade school age and up, is that if the child doesn't respond cheerfully and right away to a request, a second job will be added. Pretty quickly the child learns that it would have been easier to just do the initial request in the first place. Doing the request immediately, but with a poor attitude also merits an extra job. We are also training them all to respond with, Yes, Mommy or Yes, Daddy (or something along those lines) when we call them. If they are in the middle of doing something it is entirely acceptable for a child to respond, Yes, Mommy, may I finish "X" first? I also try to be considerate about what and when I'm asking them to do things...unless, of course, it was an assigned chore which should have been completed already. For the younger ones, practice seems to work best. If I call a little boy and he doesn't respond (or responds in an inappropriate way), we practice responding. I call the little boy and he responds (appropriately), multiple times. My goal is to make disobedience as mind-numbingly dull as possible. Practicing going into his room and not slamming the door ten times is just not on the average 4 year old's list of fun activities. The door hasn't been slammed since. I have found that if I am inconsistant, neither of these tactics work. The children are willing to play the odds to see if I carry-out the consequences. If I make a point to enforce the consequences every single time, even when it is not convenient for me, the results are seen nearly immediately. Also, I try to dole out the consequences in my most "matter-of-fact" way. (This can be hard for me sometimes when I just want to stand and scream...and sadly I'm not always able to stop myself from giving into this sinful behavior.) But, by taking the emotion out of it, and acting as though this is just what happens, the children respond better and don't feel as though it is a personal attack.

Oh, and still no call...about anything related to adoption or Dong Nai province or Vietnam.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Please pray!

We still have no provincial approval. We are now at 9 months of waiting for something that by Vietnamese law is supposed to take two to four months. According to our agency, there is nothing wrong with our paperwork, just that the provincial officials don't see the need to move quickly. (Well, we're long past quickly, now we're just talking movement.) In the meantime a little boy heads quickly toward his second birthday, still living in an orphanage, still waiting to have surgery to correct his cleft palate. We are not the only family. I believe there are three other families whose files have gone past the average time for approval. Please pray with us that the officials will be moved to approve the files of these children. I believe that only divine intervention will cause these officials to act.
Related Posts with Thumbnails
Pin It