Buckle up

This is one of the stickers I have on my travel mug. It feels appropriate to share because the whole dinosaur-mom-thing definitely sums up my week on social media. 

While there is much good that can happen on social media, the opposite is also very true. The disconnect, whether by posting anonymously or not, certainly allows people to write things they would never say to a person's face. And some of the things they say are pretty darn ugly. 

Since I hold a strong line that whatever I write, wherever I write it, has to be something I would say directly to a person, you can assume that what I'm about to write I would say out loud. I'm fact, because I lost my filter somewhere around child number six, I will add that I have said these words to a great many people in person. 

It seems people need a reminder about a couple of things. Before I get to them, I need to add my perpetual rules of engagement. I will delete any comment that is hurtful to my children. There will be no discussion about this. I am extremely good with the delete and block functions both here on Blogger and on Facebook. Just don't do it. (See tyrannosaurus image for reference to my feelings.) Also, if you find yourself angry and upset enough to write a comment that will cause me to use the delete and block functions, think very carefully about why that is. I guarantee it has everything to do with you and absolutely nothing to do with my family. 

With that taken care of, let's talk about the things that parents of trans children absolutely do not want to hear. 

1. We do not want to hear how you don't want to associate with us. Do not write vaguely cryptic posts looking for "like-minded people who believe boys should be boys and girls should be girls". If you're going to, at least be honest. I'd rather read, "I'm looking for families to socialize with who do not have trans children or the adults who spawned them." At least we all know where we are and I know who is not safe for my family. Because truthfully, my family has a lot more to fear from someone who hates them, than that other family has to fear from us. 

2. We do not want to hear how you believe it is our fault that our children are "like that". Our children are trans not because we didn't supervise them enough... Or didn't pray for them hard enough... Or didn't crack down on the 'wrong' sort of behavior... Or didn't take our job as parents seriously... Or because we 'let' them. A child who is trans is trans because of inner wiring and not due to parental negligence. You're only blaming our supposed wrong doings because the previous statement scares me pants off of you. That's a you problem and not a problem with my parenting. 

3. We do not want to hear how this is a pathology that needs to be fixed. We don't want to hear it even if you believe it. But if you wouldn't say to a Black person that something is wrong with them because of the color of their skin, don't say it about trans people. There is quite a bit of scientific evidence that gender is not the extreme binary that you and your conservative theology believe. But you probably won't read the scientific evidence anyway because you know, those scientists don't know anything. 

If you feel fear about trans people, go figure out why. Trans people are no threat to you or your children. It's not contagious. Stop buying into the fear-mongering rhetoric. And if you do buy into it stay away from my family. And stay out of groups that a wide range of humanity frequents. 

Yes, you can infer that it has been a crappy week on this front.