When things aren't actually getting better

Early on, when I finally bit the bullet and could admit to myself our family needed outside help, I wrote many times that I realized something. And that something was: The more you find yourself saying things such as, "I think things are getting better," there is a direct correlation to how not better things are. I reminded people of this often because if I had been willing to seek help sooner, we could have avoided some extremely unpleasant seasons; that by waiting, the issues at root grew exponentially. 

I feel this needs to be said again because in the past couple of months I have worked with and spoken to many families that are trying to hold it together, but the age of their children and the issues now at hand are pretty significant. I find myself wishing I could go back in time to help them and their now older children find a different path earlier in the process. So much hurt could have been avoided if I could do that. 

Instead, I will issue this plea again. If you find yourself in any type of family situation where you find yourself saying, "Things are getting better. I really think they're better." Because from experience, if things genuinely are getting better then you cease to remark on them. We are very good at forgetting what is not there. However, the more you need to internally comment on something, the more likely it is that things are not getting better. Take that as a sign that you are merely trying to avoid actually having to take action. From experience I will tell you, the longer you play that game, the more difficult the issue will become. 

Call and therapist, call a parent coach, even starting the process of looking for resources will be something. And remember, I do a lot of remote coaching and have a significantly deep toolbox because when you have twelve children, you've seen stuff.