Tension and fatigue

Yesterday was my riding lesson. I've written a bit before about how I've spent the summer completely changing how I've been riding, slowly working my way down my body. We're to hips, legs, and heels now, so I'm hopeful we're nearly done. The ugly riding, frustration, and hard work are paying off, though, because riding now is so much easier in so many ways. One thing I particularly noticed yesterday that I wanted to share with you. I promise it's not just about horseback riding but has wider implications.

I'm not in horrible shape, but riding in my lesson always knocked me out. I would need to stop and come down to a walk to catch my breath I was so winded. I was baffled because I truly hadn't been riding for very long before this point when it would happen. My trainer first realized I wasn't breathing as much or as deeply as I should be, so we worked on that. Breathing is always good, but this alone wasn't solving the problem.

As I started my ride yesterday, I was constantly scanning my body for any places where I was holding tension. It was a fairly constant thing that I would find tension and have to release it. This general awareness of noticing the tension and letting it go is pretty new and a piece of what my trainer and I have been working on. I continued doing this as I worked on the patterns that I was to ride. Normally, after several laps around the arena, I can start to feel myself tiring. This time? Instead of feeling tired, I felt energized as though I could this for a long time. I have never experienced this before and I attribute it to my constant work at being aware of releasing tension in my body as I rode. The difference was truly astounding. When I did stop for a walk break, I was not gasping for breath. The only thing that was different was the release of tension, not because I had been working on cardio stamina during the rest of the week. In fact, the past two weeks had been more sedentary for me, and I actually was kind of dreading my lesson because I knew I would struggle. But I didn't!

So horse-wise, this is fantastic, but I've been thinking about it, and I think it has some broader implications. As I've been working on releasing tension in my riding, I've also become more aware of the tension I hold in my body just as a matter of course. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this experience. I've been trying to be better about keeping tabs on it and releasing that tension as I notice it. It often feels like a constant effort. But here is what I also want to pay attention from here on. On days when I am totally done in at the end, are they also the days where I have been holding tension unaware? Because I tell you, the difference in energy level between riding with tension and riding without was pretty astounding. 

Our bodies and brains are constantly interacting with each other. Signals from our body tell our brains what to think and vice versa. I've written before about how a scowl can alert our brain that something is potentially wrong while a smile... even a fake one... can give our brain the all clear. What if all that tension we hold in our body is actually the cause of our fatigue and stress and worry? Holding tension takes a lot of energy even if we are doing it unconsciously (which I think most of us are). What if it also is telling our brain that we need to be prepared for the worst, that something is wrong, that we need to move to code yellow? Could we lower our stress and fatigue merely by being conscious of the tension in our body and releasing it? It seems more than plausible.