I may have lost my temper a little bit today...
and been far snarkier in my written response than I usually am. The assumption and tone directed at another homeschooler, though, was just so out of bounds and frankly wrong, that I couldn't help myself. And what was the egregious statement? That choosing to homeschool one's children is equivalent to not allowing one's child to have a future. Except it was said far more snidely than that.
I think you should be impressed that my response contained only G-rated words, because there were some decidedly non-G-rated words going through my head. With homeschooling becoming so exceedingly mainstream these days, I am always brought up short when I come across statements that were common when I first began homeschooling 24 years ago. What rock have these people been hiding under?
What a difference a couple of decades makes, though. Twenty years ago I was pretty capable of defending our choice to homeschool. The assurance must have somehow showed in my face, because it was only the very rare occasion when I was questioned about it. Probably the most memorable was at a book store where I was using my homeschooler's discount card and the clerk was trying to tell me my purchases weren't educational. (If I remember right, it was a guidebook about Italy because we were doing the Renaissance and I wanted to incorporate what modern Italy was like. Plus, there was a big map in it which I was planning on putting on the wall. Or it could have been when we were studying Vietnam. Both involved a guidebook.) I did receive the discount after pointing out that it didn't say anywhere on the card that we were required to discuss our educational choices with the store clerk. Some people seem to get comments and questions all the time, I get very few. Since I'm always up for a good discussion on educational theory, this was, on some level, exceedingly disappointing.
Two decades ago it was all theory. There were moments where I did feel as though I was enacting a giant educational experiment on my children and hoped that it would turn out okay. With four children raised to adulthood and two more about to join their ranks, I'm feeling quite a bit more confident. These now (or nearly) adults are quite an impressive group and I am very proud of them. I don't normally proclaim all of their various accomplishments and virtues, because so very much of it belongs to them. By turning their education over to them fairly early on, they get the credit for what they have done. I am always in the wings being a cheerleader or to offer my opinion, but they were the ones who made the choices and did the work. It was not really something I did for them.
There are times, though, when it is useful to have the group of wonderful children to show off. Today was one of those times. If someone accuses me of denying my child a future by homeschooling it is oh so helpful to tangibly demonstrate what this supposed non-future looks like. I think it looks pretty darn good myself.
What I didn't point out is that creating this (false) dichotomy of what a good education looks like is a bit dangerous. If homeschooling denies a child a future, than traditional schooling must guarantee one. While many children do just fine with traditional schooling, I don't think you would find anyone who would agree that it is good for everyone; that every child who goes through the system is assured a bright future. To say that is as ludicrous as saying all homeschooled children are denied a future. All it really does is show that the person making the statement has obviously never done any serious thinking about education at all.
I also know better than to try to have a real discussion with someone who is unwilling to engage in critical thinking. It's just not worth it. And perhaps it was a bit petty of me to so blatantly strew my children's accomplishments about. But, since I'm human, I'll also admit that it felt kind of good.
I think you should be impressed that my response contained only G-rated words, because there were some decidedly non-G-rated words going through my head. With homeschooling becoming so exceedingly mainstream these days, I am always brought up short when I come across statements that were common when I first began homeschooling 24 years ago. What rock have these people been hiding under?
What a difference a couple of decades makes, though. Twenty years ago I was pretty capable of defending our choice to homeschool. The assurance must have somehow showed in my face, because it was only the very rare occasion when I was questioned about it. Probably the most memorable was at a book store where I was using my homeschooler's discount card and the clerk was trying to tell me my purchases weren't educational. (If I remember right, it was a guidebook about Italy because we were doing the Renaissance and I wanted to incorporate what modern Italy was like. Plus, there was a big map in it which I was planning on putting on the wall. Or it could have been when we were studying Vietnam. Both involved a guidebook.) I did receive the discount after pointing out that it didn't say anywhere on the card that we were required to discuss our educational choices with the store clerk. Some people seem to get comments and questions all the time, I get very few. Since I'm always up for a good discussion on educational theory, this was, on some level, exceedingly disappointing.
Two decades ago it was all theory. There were moments where I did feel as though I was enacting a giant educational experiment on my children and hoped that it would turn out okay. With four children raised to adulthood and two more about to join their ranks, I'm feeling quite a bit more confident. These now (or nearly) adults are quite an impressive group and I am very proud of them. I don't normally proclaim all of their various accomplishments and virtues, because so very much of it belongs to them. By turning their education over to them fairly early on, they get the credit for what they have done. I am always in the wings being a cheerleader or to offer my opinion, but they were the ones who made the choices and did the work. It was not really something I did for them.
There are times, though, when it is useful to have the group of wonderful children to show off. Today was one of those times. If someone accuses me of denying my child a future by homeschooling it is oh so helpful to tangibly demonstrate what this supposed non-future looks like. I think it looks pretty darn good myself.
What I didn't point out is that creating this (false) dichotomy of what a good education looks like is a bit dangerous. If homeschooling denies a child a future, than traditional schooling must guarantee one. While many children do just fine with traditional schooling, I don't think you would find anyone who would agree that it is good for everyone; that every child who goes through the system is assured a bright future. To say that is as ludicrous as saying all homeschooled children are denied a future. All it really does is show that the person making the statement has obviously never done any serious thinking about education at all.
I also know better than to try to have a real discussion with someone who is unwilling to engage in critical thinking. It's just not worth it. And perhaps it was a bit petty of me to so blatantly strew my children's accomplishments about. But, since I'm human, I'll also admit that it felt kind of good.
Comments
I would love to hear what your grown kids are doing now, though. Last I heard, one was going on a ship? I haven't been good about keeping up the last few months, though.