Three years ago today
We woke up on a hotel room, complete with children, one dog, two cats, and one quail, and waited around for the phone call telling us the closing on the Big Ugly House had been completed. With that happy news, we loaded the dependents back up into the various cars and drove to what would be our new home. With permission, we left all the dependents at the house, but hanging around on the back porch, while J. and I went to the closing for our new house. We had whatever things that did not go on the moving trucks, which turned out to be quite a bit. The furniture would not arrive for a week and we slept in sleeping bags on the floor.
I go back and forth as to whether I think it feels longer or shorter than three years... maybe a little bit of both.
When I would talk to people about moving, asking for advice, most would say that it takes 2-3 years to really feel as though you are settled. I didn't want to hear this. I wanted to be settled right away, and I worked HARD to try to get everyone settled. I had left a place where we had deep, deep roots, where we were an integrated part of the community, and I wanted that feeling again in our new place. I didn't want to feel uprooted. I didn't want to be a transplant. I've decided that some things just take time, with moving being one of them.
Yet here we are three years down the line, and yes, indeed, 2-3 years to begin to feel settled is pretty darn accurate. We have begun to find our place. We have begun to be connected to others and to discover the various connections between people that we didn't know existed. We know where things are. I can't think the last time I got lost. I don't feel the need to tell people we've just moved here any more.
One thing I appreciate the most is that I am not constantly meeting new people. This is a huge relief. I find meeting new people to be tiring, and when all you are doing is meeting new people (and trying to remember their names even though that is a developing skill combined with trying to tell about yourself without giving away too many details that completely derail conversation, such as how many children one has) it is exhausting. It always feels as though you have to meet five times as many people as you will actually build relationships with. So. Many. People. I'm sure I spent that first year and half completely peopled out.
The bottom line is that I'm glad we are here at the three year mark and not just starting out again.
We have also slowed the frantic place of home improvement a bit. It actually boils down to finances rather than energy or desire, but we still accomplished quite a bit. The biggest item was finishing the stalls in the barn and then adding two new horses. We refurbished the two big gardens and added raised beds to try to keep down the weeds. There was the culvert repair project and the beginning of the front garden rehab project. J. did some painting in the kitchen, though the whole inside of the house needs significant help in the paint department. We did try to replace the incredibly hard to open back sliding door, but at the last moment balked due to how much it was going to be. It's a decent list.
We are glad we are here. We love our home and property. We do wish a few of our good friends would move out this way. I keep giving hints. And there are some things we miss from our old home that we will probably always miss... Diversity, really good ethnic grocery stores (though this could probably be filed under diversity as well), being able to walk to the beach, a wider variety of restaurants (another item to file under diversity), and my old kitchen. Sometimes I can appreciate what we had and move on, but most of the time it is just easier not to dwell on it at all. (Ahem, my old kitchen.) Usually I can manage it, and I am glad our current kitchen is the size it is.
So here's to heading into year four here at Bittersweet Farm.
I go back and forth as to whether I think it feels longer or shorter than three years... maybe a little bit of both.
When I would talk to people about moving, asking for advice, most would say that it takes 2-3 years to really feel as though you are settled. I didn't want to hear this. I wanted to be settled right away, and I worked HARD to try to get everyone settled. I had left a place where we had deep, deep roots, where we were an integrated part of the community, and I wanted that feeling again in our new place. I didn't want to feel uprooted. I didn't want to be a transplant. I've decided that some things just take time, with moving being one of them.
Yet here we are three years down the line, and yes, indeed, 2-3 years to begin to feel settled is pretty darn accurate. We have begun to find our place. We have begun to be connected to others and to discover the various connections between people that we didn't know existed. We know where things are. I can't think the last time I got lost. I don't feel the need to tell people we've just moved here any more.
One thing I appreciate the most is that I am not constantly meeting new people. This is a huge relief. I find meeting new people to be tiring, and when all you are doing is meeting new people (and trying to remember their names even though that is a developing skill combined with trying to tell about yourself without giving away too many details that completely derail conversation, such as how many children one has) it is exhausting. It always feels as though you have to meet five times as many people as you will actually build relationships with. So. Many. People. I'm sure I spent that first year and half completely peopled out.
The bottom line is that I'm glad we are here at the three year mark and not just starting out again.
We have also slowed the frantic place of home improvement a bit. It actually boils down to finances rather than energy or desire, but we still accomplished quite a bit. The biggest item was finishing the stalls in the barn and then adding two new horses. We refurbished the two big gardens and added raised beds to try to keep down the weeds. There was the culvert repair project and the beginning of the front garden rehab project. J. did some painting in the kitchen, though the whole inside of the house needs significant help in the paint department. We did try to replace the incredibly hard to open back sliding door, but at the last moment balked due to how much it was going to be. It's a decent list.
We are glad we are here. We love our home and property. We do wish a few of our good friends would move out this way. I keep giving hints. And there are some things we miss from our old home that we will probably always miss... Diversity, really good ethnic grocery stores (though this could probably be filed under diversity as well), being able to walk to the beach, a wider variety of restaurants (another item to file under diversity), and my old kitchen. Sometimes I can appreciate what we had and move on, but most of the time it is just easier not to dwell on it at all. (Ahem, my old kitchen.) Usually I can manage it, and I am glad our current kitchen is the size it is.
So here's to heading into year four here at Bittersweet Farm.
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