This is not homeschooling

I've been seeing more and more that frustrated and stressed parents trying to do remote schooling are throwing up their hands and saying that they are not cut out for homeschooling and this experience proves it. I'm not going to argue that homeschooling is for everyone, because I don't think it is. What I want to talk about is the mistaken notion that what is currently passing for traditional education at the moment is anything but homeschooling. Sure we are all stuck at home, but that is where the similarities end. So what are the differences between homeschooling and this crisis remote e-learning?

1. It's a matter of who makes the educational decisions.

As a homeschooling parent, I am the one who decides what is appropriate for my child to work on and learn, as well as how we spend our time. If a child is having a hard day, I can decide that we will do something that won't over tax my child. When child wants to do two or three math lessons (hey, it happens sometimes), they can do that. Those times when a child is really struggling to learn a concept? We can take all the time we need to work on it without worrying about falling behind, or we can just take a break and revisit that concept at a later date. We have the freedom to drop what we are doing and spend a morning learning about coyotes because one came up to the house. Taking a day off because the weather is fine is a possibility because I know that there will be summer days when it's too hot to be outside and we'll spend the morning playing learning games. We have all 365 days available to us to learn, and learning usually happens in some way, at some time during each of those 365 days. Our homeschooling follows our life instead of schooling dictating how we spend our days.

Trust me when I say this is all far, far easier than trying to keep on top of even a couple of children's remote learning which is dictated by a teacher with work to be completed and turned in on a schedule. I'm really good at homeschooling, but I can guarantee that trying to keep up with that type of learning for even a few of my children would cause me to lose my every last bit of patience. All of you parents trying your best to keep up with it all, my hat is off to you. It is not an easy or simple thing you are doing.

2. Homeschoolers really do leave their homes and have friends.

I've seen more than a few comments that people have decided they could never homeschool because their children miss their friends. This is a bit irritating. It implies that homeschoolers do not have friends, which could not be further from the truth. This is not a homeschooling issue, but a shelter-at-home-how-do-you-even-begin-to-make-sense-of-a-pandemic-quarantine-thing. We homeschoolers are missing our friends and outside activities just as much as any traditionally schooled family. We are not necessarily at the top of our game, either. I've been homeschooling for 23 years, and I can tell you this looks nothing like what I am used to.

3. Being at home together for days on end brings up relational difficulties.

I don't know how many times over the years that I've gently suggested to a new homeschooler that what they are struggling with isn't a homeschooling issue, but a family relationship issue. There is something about the time spent together in homeschooling that can highlight dysfunctional aspects of a relationship. It isn't about not being able to teach a child something or a child willing to have a parent as a teacher, but it is more about relational issues that are exacerbated when teaching and learning are added in. Oftentimes, when parents and children are separated for most of the day, there is not enough time left to be affected by poor relational patterns. But being home for summer or becoming new homeschoolers or being stuck together during a pandemic allows for enough relational intensity to bring issues to the surface.

Now, I've also learned that many people find this idea uncomfortable. It's not pleasant to realize that ones closest relationships have some struggles. It is also difficult to navigate life with someone whom you discover you do have struggles with. But, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, this is not because you are trying to teach your child. Those struggles were already there, the educational aspect just highlighted it.

I'm not even going to try to delve into ways to work on better parent-child relationships here that would facilitate teaching and learning. It's way to big a topic. My point is that it is not something that can be blamed on homeschooling.

Why do I take the time to write this all out, possibly for not the first time? It's because I'm a little concerned. The more I hear that people believe that they have now tried homeschooling, that it was a nightmare and a train wreck, and that there was absolutely nothing good about, the more I hear my freedom to homeschool my family at stake. We homeschoolers live one punitive law away from losing our homeschooling freedom. And if you have never been aware of some of the more egregious bills placed before state legislatures, you'll just have to trust me on this. We enjoy our freedoms, but we also do not take them for granted. Sometimes those egregious bills have been written merely because a legislature had a conversation with a family member and decided that homeschooling needed to look a lot more like traditional school. I hope those of you who have been reading here long enough know that I am not an alarmist. This just happens to be the simple truth.

Let's all do everyone a favor and give the current educational effort a more accurate name... e-learning, distance, learning, remote learning, pandemic crisis learning... pick one, pick them all. But do not call it what it is not, homeschooling, even if it is happening in a home.
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Then in totally unrelated news, L. has completed The Swooping Eagle and I have finished posting it. Head over to the link if you want to find out what happened to the crew.  The Swooping Eagle

Comments

Csmithfamily09 said…
We have been homeschoolers for 20 years and people think nothing has changed for us but, oh boy. My kids are at each other's throats, they're bored, they miss their other friends and going out. They miss their homeschool art class and going to the theater and children's museum and even going shopping with Mom. Any problems families are having is not because of homeschooling, it's because this all sucks.

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