Take back your family's life
I'm going to be a bit crotchety and unpopular today. Sometimes there is just something that needs to be said out loud, even if it seems to go completely against current cultural practices. You ready?
You do not need to sign your child(ren) up for every activity out there. They do not need to play organized sports. You do not need to kill yourself driving children hither and yon, eating dinner in the car, and never having a real meal together or any real family time. Your children will not be ruined. They will still get into college. They will still be successful adults. It is okay to say no to something.
Now, before you bombard with me with how wonderful certain activities are and how much your children love them and how much they gain from them, let me just say, I know. I know that children can be enriched by outside activities and classes. I know they can gain beneficial skills by playing organized sports. I'm not saying you should never sign your child up for these things, I just want you to choose carefully.
Because the the truth is, your children can gain as many good things by having free time, by eating regular dinners at the table with their family and having real conversations, and not doing everything under the the sun. I think we often discount exactly how beneficial these things are. I mean, there is no one out there desiring your money for you eating dinner with your family. No one is getting a paycheck when you decide to not do something so your child can have some free time. And because no one's profit is on the line, there is no one out there implying what your child will miss by not doing these things.
Parents are an easy mark for fear-based marketing. We love our children and want the best for them. We want them to be successful. We want good things for them. This makes us susceptible to messages that imply we will be failures as parents if we don't do something. What parents need to realize that is that many of the sports and activities which they sign their children up for is first and foremost an economic transaction. As such, their claims of necessity are somewhat questionable.
I am always surprised when I hear large numbers of parents complain about schedules... thing happening over dinner or during the time when the family attends their house of worship. I am surprised because it seems they have forgotten that they made this choice. It is possible to look at a schedule, realize it is not best for the family, and pass. Not only is it possible, it is okay. It is okay to decide that family events, dinner, church, etc. come first.
You do not have to make yourself crazy driving your children to things. Pick one activity, have one crazy evening if you must (this is actually what we do), but make the rest sane. The research is overwhelming that children who eat dinner with their family regularly fare much better as a whole than their peers who don't. I would also say that children who have free time, who can day dream and pursue their own interests, who have time to breath, will also be emotionally healthier, as will their parents. Emotionally healthy parents are good for their children.
If you find yourself overwhelmed by your family's schedule, take it back. Don't do things. Give yourself and your family some much needed margin.
You do not need to sign your child(ren) up for every activity out there. They do not need to play organized sports. You do not need to kill yourself driving children hither and yon, eating dinner in the car, and never having a real meal together or any real family time. Your children will not be ruined. They will still get into college. They will still be successful adults. It is okay to say no to something.
Now, before you bombard with me with how wonderful certain activities are and how much your children love them and how much they gain from them, let me just say, I know. I know that children can be enriched by outside activities and classes. I know they can gain beneficial skills by playing organized sports. I'm not saying you should never sign your child up for these things, I just want you to choose carefully.
Because the the truth is, your children can gain as many good things by having free time, by eating regular dinners at the table with their family and having real conversations, and not doing everything under the the sun. I think we often discount exactly how beneficial these things are. I mean, there is no one out there desiring your money for you eating dinner with your family. No one is getting a paycheck when you decide to not do something so your child can have some free time. And because no one's profit is on the line, there is no one out there implying what your child will miss by not doing these things.
Parents are an easy mark for fear-based marketing. We love our children and want the best for them. We want them to be successful. We want good things for them. This makes us susceptible to messages that imply we will be failures as parents if we don't do something. What parents need to realize that is that many of the sports and activities which they sign their children up for is first and foremost an economic transaction. As such, their claims of necessity are somewhat questionable.
I am always surprised when I hear large numbers of parents complain about schedules... thing happening over dinner or during the time when the family attends their house of worship. I am surprised because it seems they have forgotten that they made this choice. It is possible to look at a schedule, realize it is not best for the family, and pass. Not only is it possible, it is okay. It is okay to decide that family events, dinner, church, etc. come first.
You do not have to make yourself crazy driving your children to things. Pick one activity, have one crazy evening if you must (this is actually what we do), but make the rest sane. The research is overwhelming that children who eat dinner with their family regularly fare much better as a whole than their peers who don't. I would also say that children who have free time, who can day dream and pursue their own interests, who have time to breath, will also be emotionally healthier, as will their parents. Emotionally healthy parents are good for their children.
If you find yourself overwhelmed by your family's schedule, take it back. Don't do things. Give yourself and your family some much needed margin.
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