Oh my goodness, I am getting so excited about bringing these two new daughters home! After the enormous roller coaster of the past year, it feels so good to say that. I never truly felt as though I could really let myself just relish the idea of having two new daughters. I always was holding back a bit (or a lot) against something going wrong. And it really did feel as though something was always going wrong.
But now, with our travel approval just days away and filling out the final paperwork our agency needs before we can make travel arrangements, I am finding that am I finally allowing myself to acknowledge that this is all real and actually happening. For instance, last night, while doing some late night needed shopping, I actually bought something for the girls. This is the first time in the entire year that I have bought anything for them to use once they were home. It just didn't seem wise before... in case something happened, you know.
Oh my goodness, people, did you know that in about a month, we're going to have 12 children?!
Isn't that all so crazy and wonderful and exciting and terrifying all at the same time? I can hardly stand it. It's almost overshadowing Christmas in my anticipation and that is really saying something. (I love Christmas!) But we get them both!
I have so much to do!
It's going to be so fun!
I'm feeling a little manic right now, as you can tell from my overuse of exclamation points. I should probably harness all that manic energy into productiveness and do some of the less exciting things that need to get done as well as the fun one. You know, laundry... calling doctors... that sort of thing.
I can also tell I have given myself permission to believe this is real because I've started having dreams. The other night, we met the girls, but not at the right spot and I remember worrying that we didn't have a camera so we could take the required photo of us all together and how were we going to get that picture? I never did find out how that all worked out.
Last night, I spent the entire night at the Chinese consulate trying to get visas for our trip. (A very real item on my to do list for next week.) It was one of those dreams where you just can't do anything. I kept dropping papers, not being able to find things, losing things, ending up with the wrong things, etc., etc., all night long. And while I did end up with visas, I got them in the wrong passports. Talk about a classic stress dream.
Please if you haven't seen our donation page, take a look at it. Thankfully I haven't had a stress dream about money... yet. I'm sure it is all queued up and ready to go. Boy, This Makes me Uncomfortable (Just click the link... you get to see a video, too.) Thanks.