Called by name
The past couple of months, I have been feeling as though I am living the anti-Cheers theme song. You know (if you are old enough), the line about going where everybody knows your name? Or at least Norm's? In our old city, I kind of felt like that song. While I didn't know everybody, and everybody certainly didn't know me, I could usually count on running into someone I knew when I was out and about. Then three months ago, we moved, and suddenly I went from everyone to no one. I knew no one, and no one knew me. It was unsettling.
It also made me realize exactly how important it is to feel as though there are people out there who know you. It is probably why so many people comment on how being in a large crowd can feel so lonely. All those people, and not a single one of them to call your name, smile, and ask how you're doing.
No one knew my name, but I grew up with my grandmother reminding me that you don't wait for people to come to you, so I locked my inner introvert in a closet and forced myself to go and meet people. We met some very nice people, had some fun, and I would take a day or two to recover from all that socializing. It's not just the socializing, though. It's the meeting all new people while socializing, starting with who you are, why you've moved here, how many children you have...
Exhausting.
I will admit that last weekend I was at low ebb. The boxes were unpacked, we had started our school schedule, activities were lined up for various children, and life was looking pretty organized. I think it was because it was feeling so, well, normal, that it all seemed to hit me that this is it. We're staying here. There was no going back. It was the realization that while everything outside of me was saying this is home, my insides were screaming just the opposite: This isn't home! Obviously my emotions have not actually finished unpacking their boxes yet. (And I would like to add my husband is a saint.)
Which brings me to yesterday. It was a big day with two new events starting up for the school year. The first was a homeschool co-op that we joined for their once a month parent's group. Moms chat, children play, that kind of thing. I had met some of the women in the group earlier in the summer, so at least had a sense of some names and faces. Let me tell you, when you are new, there is nothing quite like walking into a new place with a bunch of new faces, and have someone come over to you and greet you by name. This happened twice yesterday morning, and for the first time in months I felt as though I had a place. It was a lovely morning, and quite emotionally restorative. Far more so than i was anticipating it being. And much of it was the simple act of someone greeting me by name.
It gave me the little bit of extra energy to get myself to the Bible study group I signed up for at the church we are attending. I knew it would be a large group, and while everyone at this church that I have met so far have been exceedingly welcoming, I figured that it would be yet one more round of the get-to-know-you game that I had been the guest star of all summer.
Once again the power of being called by name.
I walk into the building and head to the place where they are handing the out the resource materials. As I approach the counter, the woman behind it looks at me, smiles, and says, "Elizabeth Curry, right?" Wow. Just wow. I had a vague memory of having met her on Sunday, but it was a very passing moment, and I assume that such moment would not be enough to cement face and name. But it was. And I cannot tell you how good it felt.
Now, I am the first to admit that I am absolutely atrocious at remembering people's names. I thought I was good at faces at least, but maybe it's the sheer number of people I've been meeting, but I feel as though even that skill is slipping a bit. I can tell you, after these two experiences yesterday, I feel compelled to up my name remembering game. As the recipient of having someone remember my name, I can tell you it made my day (perhaps my week) significantly better. It also gave me some hope that my emotions really can finish up unpacking those boxes and start to settle in.
All of this also gives me a bit of a fresh insight on this passage in John 10:3, "... The sheep hear his [shepherd's] voice, and he calls his sheep by name and leads them out." Sure I've always known that Jesus knows my name. It was kind of one of those 'duh' statements. But that was before I had experienced the feeling of no one knowing my name anywhere I went. It was lonely, scary, and a little sad. To be reminded that Jesus, even when no one else does, knows my name. Really knows it, and I don't have to go through my spiel (that I am oh, so tired of) of who I am in five sentences or less, because Jesus already knows all that as well. It is a reminder that even when we feel alone, we are not.
Your assignment, dear readers? Look for the people around you whose day you will encourage simply by calling that person by name. It is quite possible the best thing you could do for them if they are feeling the least little bit lonely or out of place. And you know, even if someone didn't remember my name, but remembered that we had met, it would have been equally welcoming if they approached me and confessed they didn't remember my name, but did remember meeting me.
To be remembered.
To be known.
Isn't that what we all long for and want?
You could help make that happen for another person.
It also made me realize exactly how important it is to feel as though there are people out there who know you. It is probably why so many people comment on how being in a large crowd can feel so lonely. All those people, and not a single one of them to call your name, smile, and ask how you're doing.
No one knew my name, but I grew up with my grandmother reminding me that you don't wait for people to come to you, so I locked my inner introvert in a closet and forced myself to go and meet people. We met some very nice people, had some fun, and I would take a day or two to recover from all that socializing. It's not just the socializing, though. It's the meeting all new people while socializing, starting with who you are, why you've moved here, how many children you have...
Exhausting.
I will admit that last weekend I was at low ebb. The boxes were unpacked, we had started our school schedule, activities were lined up for various children, and life was looking pretty organized. I think it was because it was feeling so, well, normal, that it all seemed to hit me that this is it. We're staying here. There was no going back. It was the realization that while everything outside of me was saying this is home, my insides were screaming just the opposite: This isn't home! Obviously my emotions have not actually finished unpacking their boxes yet. (And I would like to add my husband is a saint.)
Which brings me to yesterday. It was a big day with two new events starting up for the school year. The first was a homeschool co-op that we joined for their once a month parent's group. Moms chat, children play, that kind of thing. I had met some of the women in the group earlier in the summer, so at least had a sense of some names and faces. Let me tell you, when you are new, there is nothing quite like walking into a new place with a bunch of new faces, and have someone come over to you and greet you by name. This happened twice yesterday morning, and for the first time in months I felt as though I had a place. It was a lovely morning, and quite emotionally restorative. Far more so than i was anticipating it being. And much of it was the simple act of someone greeting me by name.
It gave me the little bit of extra energy to get myself to the Bible study group I signed up for at the church we are attending. I knew it would be a large group, and while everyone at this church that I have met so far have been exceedingly welcoming, I figured that it would be yet one more round of the get-to-know-you game that I had been the guest star of all summer.
Once again the power of being called by name.
I walk into the building and head to the place where they are handing the out the resource materials. As I approach the counter, the woman behind it looks at me, smiles, and says, "Elizabeth Curry, right?" Wow. Just wow. I had a vague memory of having met her on Sunday, but it was a very passing moment, and I assume that such moment would not be enough to cement face and name. But it was. And I cannot tell you how good it felt.
Now, I am the first to admit that I am absolutely atrocious at remembering people's names. I thought I was good at faces at least, but maybe it's the sheer number of people I've been meeting, but I feel as though even that skill is slipping a bit. I can tell you, after these two experiences yesterday, I feel compelled to up my name remembering game. As the recipient of having someone remember my name, I can tell you it made my day (perhaps my week) significantly better. It also gave me some hope that my emotions really can finish up unpacking those boxes and start to settle in.
All of this also gives me a bit of a fresh insight on this passage in John 10:3, "... The sheep hear his [shepherd's] voice, and he calls his sheep by name and leads them out." Sure I've always known that Jesus knows my name. It was kind of one of those 'duh' statements. But that was before I had experienced the feeling of no one knowing my name anywhere I went. It was lonely, scary, and a little sad. To be reminded that Jesus, even when no one else does, knows my name. Really knows it, and I don't have to go through my spiel (that I am oh, so tired of) of who I am in five sentences or less, because Jesus already knows all that as well. It is a reminder that even when we feel alone, we are not.
Your assignment, dear readers? Look for the people around you whose day you will encourage simply by calling that person by name. It is quite possible the best thing you could do for them if they are feeling the least little bit lonely or out of place. And you know, even if someone didn't remember my name, but remembered that we had met, it would have been equally welcoming if they approached me and confessed they didn't remember my name, but did remember meeting me.
To be remembered.
To be known.
Isn't that what we all long for and want?
You could help make that happen for another person.
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