Wednesday, June 29, 2016

They walk among us

Everywhere you go, you come across them, whether you know it or not. They are school teachers. Swim teachers and life guards. Math tutors and scholarship recipients. Moms raising children. Interns at the Smithsonian and children's hospitals. Camp counselors. Students TA's on international student trips. IT workers. Artists and musicians. Pre-med students in exclusive undergraduate programs. Researchers at botanic gardens. Babysitters. Dog walkers. They are on your children's sport teams, scout programs, music schools, and dance ensembles. You probably come in contact with a few every single day.

They are...

[Cue ominous music]

Homeschoolers!

[Cue frightened screams]

Yes, it's true. homeschoolers walk among us and you probably aren't aware of it. Contrary to what you might think, they are excellent at blending in to surrounding society. If you want to be safe and identify them, stop looking for foil being worn on the head. Stop looking for the unwashed person staring at the wall whenever someone approaches them. Stop looking for the person who obviously cannot cope with everyday skills and needs individual assistance with everything. Start looking at the functional people and ask, "Could they have been homeschooled?" Take a deep breath. I know it's frightening and this truth really does turn your world upside down, but you need to know and understand this if you are going to continue to avoid these loathsome, uneducated, socially backwards creatures.

Oh, I know there are always some aberrant examples; the few that everyone points to and exclaims, "See!? See?! Homeschooling is a failure and a curse upon society!" But I have to tell you that homeschoolers are, as a whole, much sneakier than that. You will have to dig a little deeper in order to identify them to ferret them out and show them for what they truly are. You might have to engage in a conversation with some of them. This is not an endeavor to be taken lightly, though. You must protect yourself first. Be sure to put on your contamination suit and mask. You wouldn't want to be infected yourself. They always sound so... normal. Without proper precautions, you may be swayed by their arguments and go to the other side. Be careful. Only discuss things long enough to gain the necessary information. They are very good at logic and will use it without hesitation.

I don't mean to alarm you with this, but it is better to be prepared. In order to fight your enemy, you must be prepared. Knowledge is power.
___
I don't know why I read comments on posts. On the comments on a link to a new Amazon product for teachers, it quickly degraded into an illogical, name calling, fact eschewing homeschooling bashing fest. It was so bad that it could have been excellent fodder for The Onion. Truly, do people really think that homeschoolers are collectively so unsuccessful that they deserve that kind of abuse? And to the supposed college professors who proclaimed that the only homeschoolers who had come through their classes were so woefully unprepared that they liken homeschooling to child abuse... Well, I can say for a fact that every homeschooler I know who has gone to college would never (unless asked) tell a professor they were homeschooled. It's not as though a student walks into a classroom, goes up to the professor after the first day of class, and says, "Hey, I just thought you should know I was homeschooled." Who does that? These particular professors have probably had dozens of successful homeschooled students in their classes and never known it. We're sneaky that way.

1 comment:

Alex and Riann said...

As a homeschool graduate (who successfully navigated college and "real life"), I want to thank you for this. And, hopefully, my six homeschooled kiddos will sneak up on the world -- and change it!

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