The haze is starting to lift and I feel as though I'm finally coming up for air, to mix my metaphors a bit. All through this last adoption process, my anxiety over paperwork was extraordinary. It was a real fight to get any of it done, and I never, ever felt as though I was on top of it. I certainly wasn't my typically organized self, and that probably bothered me as much as anything. As travel got closer, the inability to focus grew. My desk piled higher and higher and I always felt as though I was one lost piece of paper away from disaster. Then, adding my dad dying a week before we left, made the whole thing even more difficult. It is nothing short of a miracle that we were able to leave and bring home our new daughters with only a slight paperwork mishap.
Even after we got home, the jet lag, then the dog dying, and the transitioning of multiple people took precedence, and once again we were pretty much living moment to moment. Just as I thought I had gotten a handle on life, the grief hit with its full force and I was knocked back off my feet once again. Nothing got done that week. Just breathing and crying and taking care of the absolute necessities.
This week has been better. For the first time in months, I feel as though I can actually think. I can look at the paperwork that either needs to be filed or dealt with and not want to run and hide. I feel functional, and it feels really good. I even cleaned off my desk yesterday. Really cleaned it off, not just moving papers from pile to pile, but actually dealing with them. I have completed paperwork that needed to get done which I had been avoiding and it is mailed. I have my list of doctors to call on Monday and this time I know I will actually be able to do that. I even have neurologist appointments set-up for both H. and R.! (Trust me, this was no small feat.) Heck, I have even contemplated making myself a new skirt for our trip to Arizona next month.
The other thing I'm realizing is that my poor blog could stand some organizing as well. There is much on the sidebar that I need to go through and clean out, children keep pointing out that the Cast of Characters post is woefully out of date, and I'm pretty sure some of the tabs up on top need some revising. I've had some new readers over the past couple of months, so it's time to clean things up. The first thing is to point out that I've gone back to updating our weekly menus.
Today is actually A.'s 18th birthday, but we are celebrating tomorrow. I'll write her birthday post on Monday so that I have some pictures to share. In the meantime, brothers and sisters have been busy making cards. (Psst. A., don't look at the picture, OK?) Here is what Y. created. I love it so much I had to share it right now.
It's a picture of all 14 of us. It also says Happy Birthday across the top. Y. copied the letters herself. You'll notice she has taken a page out of G.'s book and seems to like to write backwards, but at least her letters are facing forward, so it should be an easy fix. Y. knows who each person is, but I can't remember what she told me and she didn't want me to write on it. R. also made a card, and we have another piece to the puzzle that is R. to fit into a larger whole. As of right now, R. does not seem to be able to get the parts of a face drawn on a circle in any meaningful way. At least knowing what she cannot yet do helps me to gradually narrow down exactly what we need to be working first. I think I will be getting out our faces learning game and spend a lot of time just looking and talking about them.