It's that time of year again when I feel as though I have entered my own special version of The Monster at the End of the Book. I'm sure you know this book, it stars loveable, furry, old Grover and my children love it just as much as I did as a child. (Usually I don't go so much for licensed character "books", but this is an exception.)
In this version, though, Christmas is at the end of the book. It's not a bad thing in and of itself, but my problem is with the speed with which we speed towards it. So here I am, doing my lovable, furry, old Grover imitation and am pleading with you to please, please, please, do not turn another page.
If you do turn another page, please, please, please do it very, very slowly.
And then I look at my to-do list for the rest of the this week and realize, not only did you turn a page, you turned it quickly. So quickly, in fact, that I am a bit worried that you tore it right out of the book. We don't do that here. We should pause here for a while, for a long while, and I will fix it. First I have to find the packing tape...
Not only did you not let me fix the page you just tore, you also turned another page. You see, while I was looking for that packing tape, I realized that I had bought a new roll at the Dollar Store when we were filling our Operation Christmas Child shoeboxes. Shoeboxes we still need to put together and deliver to the drop-off point. I need time to do this people! You really need to stop turning pages.
Because really, if this continues, how will I ever get by to-do list done before Thanksgiving, much less Christmas? How I ask you?
It doesn't help that on all the regular holiday craziness, we have follow-up vet appointments for the dog who didn't bother to look at the calendar before coming down with some crazy infection. Or that even though I had over an entire year to get ready for traveling to bring home two new children, I hadn't done a thing and am now scrambling to be ready to travel after the holidays. Or that D. has a tech week thrown in there with a weekend's worth of shows to go to. So please, won't you stop turning pages?
I can see that begging isn't helping since,
YOU TURNED ANOTHER PAGE!
Why must we speed through this time of year?
Why can't we all just take our time and able through it and enjoy it all?
I don't know, either.
But, please? Let's take this packing tape I just found... can't we just tape the rest of this book shut for a while? Maybe when all of us are ready, we can cut the tape off. Otherwise, I'm afraid that when I wake up in the morning, it will be Christmas and I won't be ready. Or it will be time to fly to China and I won't be ready.
Pretty much, if you keep turning pages with such speed, I can't be responsible for the consequences.