Saturday, August 30, 2014

Those times you realize you're on the wrong side of young

I realize I'm not really old old and that my mother and her friends will just laugh (go ahead, I know you will), but I'm not enjoying the more frequent moments I've been having of being reminded I am not in my 30's anymore.

First, there are those signs in the stores that announce, "We card anyone under 40." And I buy a bottle of wine and I'm never carded. Ever. I like to think it's because they just don't follow their own guidelines, because otherwise...

Then, a couple of weeks ago, I was filling in for a good friend and being the stand-in mother for a catering taste test. M. was there as well and the caterer knew she was my daughter. In making chit chat it came out that I also had five year old children. Now, just a word to the wise, everyone. If someone says to you that they have five year olds, please don't goggle at them as if Methuselah suddenly appeared in your midst. It was really that bad. I even went and checked myself in the mirror just to see if I looked as I normally do and that I didn't suddenly look like my grandmother when she was 93.

The most recent kicker though, was glancing through my post-visit report from the eye doctor earlier this week. My eye doctor is part of the same network as many of my other doctors, so it was pretty complete. Imagine how I felt when I looked at the section labelled 'known medical issues'. (Well, first, I didn't realize I had known medical issues other than my eyes, which weren't even listed.. but I digress.) Get this, the first item under known medical issues was: Elderly Multigravida with Antepartum Condition or Complication. The translation for this is I was old (in the eyes of the medical world) when I gave birth to a child that was not my first and that after delivery I needed a blood transfusion and developed post-partum preeclampsia. This was not news, but it was the elderly term that felt a little unnecessary. Really, elderly? At 43? (For those of you who are now feeling compelled to do the math, I'll save you the effort. I'm 48 and despite this post, don't really care.) I'm used to the term 'advanced maternal age', but elderly kind of hit me. Once again, it wasn't as if I was in my 80's or 90's.

So, I will now take my elderly self off to read stories to my surprisingly young youngest children. I'll try not to break a hip on my way upstairs.

1 comment:

Carla said...

This post made me laugh out loud. A few years ago when I was pregnant at age 38, I saw the medical report. It actually had the words, "geriatric gestation". I believe it was simply because I was over 35 and pregnant, but it may be because it was my first pregnancy. I could do nothing but laugh at the term. Geriatric indeed.

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