I know this seems like a slightly odd topic for the end of the school year, but it's what has been on my mind. It all has to do with G. and L. turning five years old. There must be something about your youngest turning five to make you remember your oldest turning the same age. It was about when M. turned five (or maybe a little earlier, I don't really remember) that there was a Baby Blues comic that appeared in the paper. The short version is that the mother sees a school bus going down the street and clutches her baby a little tighter thinking about having to send her away to school. I loved this so much I put in on the refrigerator where it hung for years. I've even blogged about it before because the whole idea is really the reason we started homeschooling.
Having the little girls turning such a pivotal age, it feels brand-new, this feeling of needing to keep my little ones with me just a bit longer. And five years old really is little, it was not so long ago that they were little tiny babies. Multiple times a day something happens that causes tears and I need to kiss and hug them. A good nap is still needed every few days. I admit it... I'm selfish. I love spending time with them. I love watching them learn. I love listening to the stories and games they make up. I don't really want to share that with anyone. Soon enough they will be bigger and more independent. Soon enough they will be leaving the nest. Soon enough I will be looking up at them (or at least in the eye). With M. being 21 years old and pretty much independent I am intimately aware of how quickly this will happen. I was in no rush to send my oldest off and I am even less inclined to send my littlest.
The phenomenon of sending children off to kindergarten is so culturally pervasive that I sometimes have to remind myself I don't need to participate. It would be very easy to start crying and hyperventilating at the thought of the first day of school. I am thankful I have the choice and can opt out. Instead I can look forward to kindergarten. I get to share their excitement over learning new things. I get to be the one to watch them grow and mature. I get more time to spend with my little girls because in the great scheme of things that time is very short.