Queue problems... or eating crow

I spent a portion of last night going around and apologizing to my older children for my little temper tantrum regarding the Netflix queue that happened over the weekend. They were right... I was wrong.

To explain the whole story, I have to back up a bit. Netflix is one of our major entertainment options and our movie queue is very long. Since we don't watch a movie every night, it can take a while for a person's chosen movie to reach the top of the queue, thus arriving in the mail able to be viewed. It has become a thing around here to fiddle with the queue and "help" ones movie reach the top faster. Not everyone is guilty of this all the time, but it happens. I've learned that if there is a movie I really need to arrive, such as for school, that I need to time moving it to the top of the queue to the time when a previous movie is mailed, ensuring its arrival when I need it.

Last week, when I was looking ahead in my school schedule, I noticed that I had scheduled a documentary about Rome that I planned to show this week. I moved my movie to the top, found the movie that needed to be returned, and mailed it off. This pretty much ensured that the movie I needed would arrive in time. Imagine my surprise when on Saturday I receive an email telling me that a movie that I did not put at the top of the queue was being mailed to me. What?!? There was really only one answer. Someone had moved their movie to the top of the list after I had so carefully placed mine there. I start the stomping around and lecturing. Not a single person owned up to the deed, which did not improve my attitude about it.

Yesterday, the unwanted movie arrived and I insisted that we seal it up and return it immediately so that the movie I wanted had a chance of making it. I didn't really care that someone wanted to watch it, it was going back. To make my point, I stomped and lectured one more time for good measure. Everyone still avowed no knowledge of how the movie was moved up.

Not due solely to the movie, but yesterday was just not a good day all the way around. J. got everyone ready for bed and I decided to stare at the computer for a bit. It seemed a better choice than snapping at children. When I checked my email, imagine my surprise and chagrin to see an email from Netflix. An email telling me about the thoughtful thing they did for me. It seems that documentary I had wanted wasn't immediately available. In order for some movie to arrive at the expected time, they sent the movie that was 2nd on the queue. When they found a copy of the documentary they would send it right away. You're welcome.

Yeah, thanks.

Thanks for telling me three full days after sending me that first notice that a different, and unexpected, movie was going to be arriving. What would have been really thoughtful would have been to send the informative email first. It would have saved three days of annoyance.

My children were right. Not a single one of them messed with the queue. Netflix did.


Ann said…
I wouldn't say Netflix did anything wrong. It's common procedure for any film/book rental service to send the second item on a list if the first isn't available. Granted, a note from them might have been nice, but it sounds as if you overreacted to what, from this outsider's perspective, was a very trivial hitch in your routine. Why the overreaction?

Maybe a separate Netflix account for non-educational films would be worth the extra money.
Charlene said…
I totally feel for you! With our small-large family, things run better when things are scheduled pretty tightly. I've had that with things like looking for shoes.... We have VERY specific places for shoes for the very reason that we need to get out the door on time for numerous therapy sessions, doctor appointments, and surgeries. I try to operate by "a home for everything and everything in it's home." Makes things run smoother. So it's definitely a trigger point for me.

I'm sure she knows that it's common practice, but had her mind set on a certain flow to her week. We don't know what was going going on in her day or her week for what you consider her overreaction. I LOVE that she went around apologizing to her children. What a wonderful godly example she set. Our children need to see that we are human, that we don't always have it all together, that we stumble, and how to make things right. I for one appreciate her sharing this. We are human and not perfect. Thanks for sharing that you are human like the rest of us! LOL
Owlhaven said…
I'm most likely to get frustrated when I've addressed an issue multiple times, and still kids don't obey. A pattern of disobedience distresses a mother's heart. No wonder you were frustrated, if you thought that's what was happening.
Hang in there and good job apologizing. We ALL blow it sometimes.
csmith said…
Oh, don't you hate when you accuse the kids of something and you're wrong! Just this morning I had a little mini fit about some missing hair supplies. I keep a basket of things to do the girl's hair in the hall closet and no one is allowed to touch them. Today while getting them ready for a doctor's appointment I found that my things specifically for curly hair were gone. I demanded a confession, threatened some, and finally left in a snit. This afternoon I found them, in MY room, on MY dresser, exactly where I left them yesterday. Whoops. I look at as a good lesson on how to apologize and give and receive forgiveness gracefully.
That totally sounds like something that would happen in my house.
Amy said…
I'm glad I am not the only parent who has an occasional temper tantrum and then has to apologize.
Joy said…
Just a few months after our three kiddos came home to live with us, our then-4-year-old was going through a bit of a lying/theft phase, that seemed to have something to do with transition/loss of control/etc.

On the morning of his first field trip, a beautiful fall day with an outdoor activity, I couldn't find my wedding rings. He had been having his afternoon rests in my bedroom, since he and his brother needed separate rest time space. "Naturally" I put two and two together...and after he initially tried to convince me that he knew nothing about the rings, he changed his story and sent me on a wild goose chase all over the house, making up the various spots where he had supposedly dropped it while playing with it.

We ended up staying home from the trip, because I told him he needed to resolve the missing ring situation first. Later on I found my rings on a shelf downstairs, where I must have left them up somewhere "safe" after taking them off for some reason.

Yeah, it happens. Thankfully in this instance I didn't blow up over it...but my persistence in seeking "honesty" resulted in him deciding to admit to the supposed crime (which then backfired completely as he embellished his tales and missed the trip).

Regardless, I learned something about giving the benefit of the doubt at times, and I hope he learned something about patterns of behaviour, and the assumptions people might make as a result.

Anyway, I totally relate to your situation - definitely could see that happening around here (and yes, I would be surprised if I kept my cool when it was an issue that had been an ongoing problem).

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