Thursday, April 11, 2013

How to deal with an unwelcome houseguest

Dear Rain,

I'm afraid it's time we sit down and have a little chat. I hate to bring all of this up, but it seems as though no one else is, and really it's for your own good. This is because your recent behavior could be making you seem a bit overbearing and rude. People might start to get the wrong impression of you and I would hate for your reputation to be sullied.

I imagine that you are feeling a little guilty over neglecting us completely last summer and now feel compelled to make up for your absence. While we really did miss you, sometimes terribly, I think you may be going overboard. No one likes a house guest who overstays their visit, but, as sorry as I am to break it to you, I'm afraid your behavior is quickly entering this territory, especially since I heard through the grapevine that you plan on staying for the foreseeable future. This is really not how a polite house guest acts. And especially when you have not been polite enough to let your hostess know your future plans.

This is not to say we don't enjoy your visits. We don't even mind you visiting on a fairly frequent basis, it's just the non-stop stay that becomes wearing. I'm just not sure that my children can manage a stay for the length it seems you are planning. Couldn't you go and visit someone else for a while? I'm sure they must be missing you.

Oh, and one other thing that needs to be mentioned. Really, it is so incredibly impolite to invite a friend to join you when you are a guest at someone's home. It really must be cleared with the hostess in advance and even then, should be done very rarely. With that in mind, I have also heard through the grapevine that you plan having your cousin, Snow, join us tomorrow. I must put my foot down at this change of plans. We are full-up and absolutely cannot accommodate your cousin, even if she is terribly nice. Could we make future plans for her to come and visit at a more opportune time... say, January of next year?

I hate to be so blunt, but the hints I have been dropping do not seem to be making a difference. We're happy to host you, but let's come up with a plan for visits that are perhaps shorter in duration. And it really isn't fair for Sun if you continue to occupy the guest room. He has been eager to join us for a while, but until you move on, he has no where to stay. He is really rather broken-hearted about it. At least think of him.

I hope you don't take this letter in the wrong spirit. We truly do like you and enjoy your company, but sometimes it is difficult to have positive feelings towards you when you engage in thoughtless behavior. We just don't want you to be the person who people see and want to run away from.

So, think about what I've written and let's come up with a solution that works for all of us. Please let me know as soon as possible when you've made plans for other accommodations.

Sincerely,
Mrs. C.

ps. And I cannot stress enough how you must write to Snow and let her know that she cannot stop here. I don't want to have to turn her away if she shows up, but I will if I must.  ec

2 comments:

Lucy said...

Perhaps you should have written Sun, inviting her to visit :-) It was after all, her presence that sent the North Wind packing...

to china and back said...

Funny!

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