Sometimes being the grown-up means making the hard decisions. As I have mentioned before, J. has started an intensive 3-year doctoral program on which he is working on top of his regular full-time job. This is the right career move for him at this time and he is really liking the program and faculty and fellow students. That said, it is also a serious time commitment. He will be gone one Saturday a month as well as having to work on papers and assignments during the week. We got a real taste of what life is going to look like for a while a couple of weeks ago when he had two fairly long papers due back-to-back. I wish I could say I sailed through those two weeks effortlessly and was completely supportive of my husband and what he needed to got done. The truth is not so pretty... or flattering.
One positive thing that happened was that it made me stop and re-examine what my priorities were and what my schedule was looking like. It became clear that if I was serious about supporting my husband in this venture and being committed to keeping our children's home life sane, then something was going to have to change. As a result, I have decided to step back from my volunteer efforts at church for the next several years, the biggest part of that being my job as children's choir director. (I'm sorry if some people are hearing this news for the first time by reading this. Reading about something instead of personally being told can be icky.) I will miss working with the children. Directing the choir is something I ended up enjoying far more than I thought I would when I first began 14 years ago. There is a small part of me that feels as though I am letting people down. I keep reminding myself that I'm not indispensable and don't want to be. I feel very at peace with my decision and know that it is the right one for our family now.