Saturday, April 16, 2011

An open letter to President Obama

Dear Mr. President,

At a recent town hall meeting, you discovered that a man had 10 children.  Since this obviously came as a shock to you, I feel it is time to let the cat out of the bag.  You see, he is not the only one.  All over this country are hundreds, if not thousands, of families with 8, 9, or 10 children. Some even have more.  I'm sorry to have to break the news to you so abruptly, but it's time to come clean about this.

It is understandable that you (and many others) didn't know, because those of us with larger families have been working diligently to keep the information under wraps.  We have done our best to blend in with the rest of society.  If you saw one of us walking down the street (without our children, of course), you would never guess how many little ones we have at home.  We look like everyone else.  We have jobs, we own homes, and some of us have managed to collect a variety of degrees from colleges and universities.  The females among us even go so far as to wear shoes!  (We figured that the whole barefoot-thing would be too much of a tip off.)

And yes, we drive vehicles.  But this is where our covert operations got stuck.  There is just no way to fit all of our children into a small hybrid car.  What were we to do?  If we were the only ones driving over-sized vehicles that took a week's worth of grocery money to fill, everyone would find out our secret.  We came up with a plan.  Somehow (and I'm not at liberty to divulge our methods), we have convinced the American people that driving over-sized, gas guzzlers is a sign of economic prosperity and makes one look important.  With so many SUV's on the roads, who is going to pay attention to second hand 15-passenger vans?  It is all our fault and we are so sorry.

So there you have it... the whole truth about the large family conspiracy.  I suppose it is time for us to try to find a way to stop hiding and begin to integrate our large families into society.  It may be difficult for everyone at first.  Many people are not used to being around children and do not appreciate them.  We will try to be patient as everyone acclimates.

Sincerely,
e

PS--Looking forward to that hybrid van you promised!

14 comments:

Mary said...

You tell him! Some of us with only a few kids drive SUV's too because we need room for bikes, scooters, camping gear etc. Hard to pack all that in a Prius!

Pippin said...

This post is just plain WIN. Thanks, Mom C. This made my day!!

MamaPPod said...

Yahoo!! You said what I REALLY wanted to say - but you did a much better job (as always!!) I was stunned that the president actually thought there was a hybrid van available. I shall be sharing this wherever I can.

P

Just Mairs said...

bwahahaha!! Well said! It's only lacking some underhanded comment about trying to reconcile the existence of large families with his love for aborting babies...

Crystal said...

LOVE IT!!!!
Hugs,
A mama of 10 :)

Jen @ Forever, For Always... said...

I saw this clip too and it made me cringe! We only have 6 kids and only drive a 12 passenger van, so maybe this makes us more normal??!! Great letter!

ibmom28 said...

What a great blog!!! we have 8 children, 6 at home with 2 getting ready to leave in the next year. Even still, we use our 15 passenger van to carry the girls high school softball team to games, used ot be half of the football team, or it's been volleyball, church youth group, you name it, whatever activity our kids are in when the leaders find out we have a 15 passenger van we're almost always requested to be part of transportation.It's just another way we are able to stay involved in our kids worlds. blessings~~

Pkadams said...

Did he also criticize people like me who must drive wheelchair lift vans for our handicapped children? I am praying for God to provide the means to purchase a small fuel efficient car that I could use when not taking the whole family. But for now, the only car I have is my 15 passenger 1995 E350 Ford Van! Good job Elizabeth!

TJC said...

Who is he trying to be, a stand-up, heckling the audience?

thecurryseven said...

Tad-- It's funny you mention that. That was the first thing that crossed my mind as well, that he was trying to be a stand-up comedian.

e

His Hands His Feet Today said...

ROFL!!!!!
I didn't see this clip ... love his face. YES we are NORMAL people too :).... we just happen to have TEN kids too! Hahahaha!

Anonymous said...

Did he miss Air Force One for family outings? How about those vehicles he rides in--and all the secret service vehicles that go with him? Do we all miss the do as i say you should do not as i plan to do of it all?

Cari said...

LOVE this post!!!

Melissa said...

We're a family of 7 (5 kids now - 3 in car- or booster seats) and drive a Honda Pilot, seating 8. How out of touch he is to throw out there that we should just run out and buy a $40k hybrid SUV - or a (mythical) hybrid passenger van. Good luck to him on that.

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