Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Tilting at windmills

We all have different social circles where we function, consisting of different groups of friends and different focuses and different viewpoints.  I realize there are very few of my social circles where I am not the odd one... whether for our family size, educational choices, views on parenting, you name it.  Usually, I am OK with my perceived weirdness and it wouldn't be a stretch to say that in many ways I both embrace and cultivate it.  But, sometimes it gets tiring.  It gets tiring to be the lone voice for a particular viewpoint.  It gets tiring to always have one's differences pointed out.  It gets tiring to advocate for making choices that are out of the mainstream when no one even perceives there are choices to be made.  It gets tiring to be the freak.

In case you haven't figured out my trick to keeping up a blog with so many children at home, I do it by writing posts ahead of time.  So, while you're reading this on the 5th, I am actually writing it the night before.  And I know that as well as being emotionally tired, I am also physically tired, which contributes to my pessimistic mood.  I know that after a good night's sleep (I hope... on the sleep part) that I will be refreshed and ready to get back on my steed and point my lance at unsuspecting windmills.  But tonight, for a little while longer, I will wonder if my efforts are worth it.

7 comments:

Jessica said...

Hang in there. I am a new follower and I enjoy the glimpse into your life that you give us. When I took my two daughters out of public school that came as a shock to my school friends and much of my family. Any choice that is out of the mainstream can be hard at times. But knowing that your reasons, your purpose and your goals are what matters, somehow we find the strength and perseverance to carry on.

Anonymous said...

Please be encouraged, that you're not the only one. Your choices have been a huge blessing to our family as we seek to home educate, encourage adoption, have a larger family, worship together as a family, limit our children's extra activities. . . and the list goes on. Ultimately my hope and prayer is that both of our families will continue to pursue honoring Jesus above all. That pursuit will lead us to make very different choices, but, after all, this world is not our final home!
Kim Crawford

MamaPPod said...

On the good side...you fit right in with me!! Clearly, we need to spend more time together, so that at least some of the time you feel like you fit in (even though you have an absurd number of kids. Nine?! Sheesh! Eight is a much more normal number)

P

Ali said...

I too am a new follower. I can relate to your feelings! Lately I can't even find time to sit down and compose a blog post. I know how it feels to be the family that is different. We stick out like a sore thumb when out in public. Especially now that we have adopted. It is always comforting to me to know that even though the world looks at us like we are weird or freaks, I am comforted knowing that I am doing what God wants me to do and I am pleasing him with my choices.

susieloulou said...

Oh, I know how you feel. I LOVE your blog! I remember talking with my grandmother, and her saying she felt like a dinosaur. I said, "You're SUPPOSED to feel like a dinosaur - what about me?" :-)
Being out of sync, it's so worth it, though!

LawMommy said...

Perhaps this will not make you feel better...but it's supposed to. What I enjoy about your blog and your correspondence (and you, now that I've met you in person) - is that I find you so relatable, despite the fact that, on the surface, we have made different choices. :-) You are doing an amazing job with your amazing family - don't let the b*st*rds grind you down. :-)

sandwichinwi said...

Most of your blog posts leave me with the desire to meet you in person someday. I'm excited that we live so close and that it's a very real possibility.

I'm right there in your camp (only with halfish your children. In my head, tho, I'm a mom to 9!)

Blessings,
Sandwich

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