Saturday, May 15, 2010

Make it stop!

The whining, that is. K. has reached the terrible twos a couple of years late. K. continues to catch-up developmentally and we've found that he is hitting all the milestones that he should, just on a delayed schedule. He is definitely making up for lost time, though, because he moves through the developmental stages at a faster rate. I hope that this holds true for whining as well. For the majority of our children, the year of being two wasn't so bad, but three....? Let's just say it's a good thing they were cute. K. is right on schedule, really. The worst always seems to come when a good grasp of language has emerged and also an awareness of the world around them that wasn't there before. They know that they want to do things and can't, either because they are unable to or because some parent or brother or sister won't let them. And since they know that language can effect change, they use its most annoying form. But knowing why the whining happens does not make it any easier to bear. And it's exhausting. From experience, the only way to stop it is to be consistent in addressing the whining every time it happens. There are some times when I wish I could just pretend I didn't hear the whining (as if!) and let it pass. But every time I do this, I know I'm lengthening the torture because anytime the whining works, it is further encouragement to the child to whine the next time. You know that Lamaze breathing that is taught for labor? I think it's completely wasted on childbirth. I find it far more useful in the parenting of young children...breath in, breath out, focus on the breathing, really it's not a buzz saw drilling into your skull, focus on the breathing...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The Whining is the worst! Frustrating for me is when it comes back, unexpectedly, like recently R (who's almost 9) has used a whiny tone, some days it seems like the only tone she can find! And every. time. I say "You are WHINING. That is not an okay voice to use." And I did have to actually leave the room a few times because I could feel my blood pressure going up - I swear, it's worse than nails on a chalkboard!

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