Thursday, June 26, 2008

One Month

It's been one month since we arrived home with K from Vietnam. When I think about all we've done this month it makes me realize why I'm tired. I want my relaxing summer to start! K's transition continues to be very easy. He is just the cutest and happiest little guy (who loves nothing more than an audience to make laugh). He even is starting to show me affection. He will come up and hug my legs, he wants me to pick him up, he smiles for me and makes more eye contact, and he started to cry when I left the house for a five minute errand on Tuesday. Up until that point, I wasn't sure whether he really cared yet if I was around or not. And so goes the dance of attachment...I love him, he begins to love me, I love him even more, and so on and so on.

On top of the happy stuff, we've also had a parade of therapists in here through Early Intervention to perform screenings on K. The second set was here yesterday, both a physical therapist and an occupational therapist. Not surprisingly, K qualifies for both types of therapies. He is most delayed (~14 month old) in the sitting aspect of his physical ability. He has a very curved back when he sits and just low muscle tone overall. But, the therapists were both very confident that within a few months of therapy he will be caught up to where he should be. I've been thinking about all the diagnoses that we've had for K over the past month and wondered why I'm not nervous or worried about any of them. I know one reason (and probably the biggest) is that my peace comes from God. I know K was meant to be our son regardless of his abilities and our job is to love him and help him to reach his full potential. We have no idea what God has in store for this little boy, but He's the one in charge...not me. But the other reason I feel calm is that I know K. He is a real, live person who is a charming child. His delays are not who he is. If I just saw a list of his delays written out on a piece of paper on a referral, without knowing the actual child, they would look serious enough that I might have second thoughts about bringing him into our home. The referral might go something like this:

The child is two years old and is very sociable. He has a repaired cleft lip and an unrepaired tooth ridge. He can walk and run and likes to follow his caretaker around the house. The child has no speech and makes very few babbling sounds although he seems to understand what is said to him. Physically, he is globally delayed, and exhibits low muscle tone, especially in his back. The child is underweight and has been malnourished. No physical cause for the lack of growth can be found. The child will need extensive therapy to help him meet his potential.

The child, my child, is so much more than his delays and inabilities. I certainly don't want to come across as arrogant or superior for having overlooked a child's areas of concern. Left to my own abilities, I am just as able to imagine horrible things happening in the future. I read waiting child listings and think, "Wow, I could never handle that!" But, when we allow God to work in us and use His eyes to see people as He sees them, perhaps all of us are able to do so much more than we thought we could.

There is a point to my little sermon here. The news came out yesterday that it appears that families with logged-in dossiers, who have not been matched with a child by September 1, will have those dossiers returned. They will not be allowed to be grandfathered in. I know there are people who read this blog who are waiting for a referral. I'm asking you to consider that maybe there is a child already waiting for you as you wait for a child. A child who on paper, might not look like you first imagined, but who would love you all the same. A child whose last chance at having a family of his or her own also ends on September 1. Many agencies have waiting children...I know Holt ( http://www.holtintl.org/cgi/photolisting/display.cgi?ID=B06-18&Index_re=9 )and WACAP (see below for a description about a little girl with Downs, whose fees have all been waived) both have children who have been waiting for a long time. No child, even apparently healthy ones, comes with guarantees; parenting any child requires a supreme act of faith. Take a leap and see what works of wonder and power God can work in your life.


Baby, 1 years old with Down syndrome, needs family quickly. She was abandoned. She enjoys food and is a good eater. She is a happy walker and when you hold her hands she is ready to explore her world. She can sit upright by herself and enjoys watching everything in her surroundings. She is a very active and happy baby who is quite social and attached to her caregivers. She is from Vietnam. No adoption fee as her agency adoption fees have been donated already. There is also a no-interest loan available. Dossier ready families and families able to submit their dossier by July 31st can be considered. Because of the adoption situation with Vietnam perspective families need to know this situation poses risks which may end in an unsuccessful adoption. WACAP will exhaust all possibilities to find this child a family, before Vietnamese adoptions are closed to U.S. citizens this summer. If you are dossier ready for an adoption in Vietnam or know someone who is, we> strongly encourage them to contact us about this child's future. WACAP (www.wacap.org) is a non-profit adoption agency. Contact FamilyFinders@ wacap.org, 1-800-732-1887

3 comments:

His Hands His Feet Today said...

Thanks for posting it! I pray she finds a dossier ready family SOON!!!

PhoWises said...

Elizabeth,
You are a tireless and eloquent advocate for all children. Thank you for your insights and encouragement. Everytime I feel overwhelmed trying to manage Maya and my active boys, I think of you pulling it off with 7!
Irene

StaceynCorey said...

Beautufully said. May your words be encouragement for those families still waiting to consider a waiting child.

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