tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post6666562078766221541..comments2024-03-29T01:22:45.705-05:00Comments on Ordinary Time: Paperwork fantasiesthecurrysevenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08932092243753160814noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post-75139039846250991532009-02-23T10:56:00.000-06:002009-02-23T10:56:00.000-06:00I whole heartily agree that the paperwork could be...I whole heartily agree that the paperwork could be more streamlined. However, I do take great hesitation with making the process easier when it comes to checking a parent's abilities to parent and also the cost of adoption in general. That concept opens up a huge can of worms. Being the mother of a child who was adopted and then horrifically abused, I can only imagine if the background checks were less vigorous, how many more potential abusive acts might occur to children. I would rather err on the side of safety and even still, people slip through the cracks and precious children are put into the wrong hands. If it were at all possible, I think ALL parents (adoptive AND birth) should undergo such scrutinization although I know this cannot legally happen as government regards parenting as a "right" and not a priviledge. I understand what Rebecca is saying about feeling discriminated against. I really do, but, when someone is being entrusted with a child and can legally be put under the microscope, as is the case in adoption, I think it should be done. Even being through it 5 times myself, I think it is necessary. I have been involved in the adoption communities for the past 15 years now and have seen a lot. I would not want any of it to be made easier. I've attended as well as hosted numerous PIP classes, met people at gatherings and fundraisers and was a mentor AP. I've seen and heard some crazy stuff. Not everyone who adopts or wants to adopt is automatically a kind and caring person. There are many bad eggs out there. Just like bio parents. Adoption agencies can't stop you from proceeding as easily as you might think either. I cannot go into detail but I know a good amount about this. The system isn't perfect but I cannot imagine just handing children over with few forms and $300 surcharge. <BR/><BR/>Also, I have to add, there are already tons of potential AP's waiting in line. Some people wait a year or even longer for a referral. There is no shortage of AP's unless you are talking about children with special needs.maxhelcalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06600616036612996484noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post-4940849409916591902009-02-21T00:16:00.000-06:002009-02-21T00:16:00.000-06:00I just got Maya's re-adoption paperwork to the cou...I just got Maya's re-adoption paperwork to the courthouse last week. I had been feeling like the worst adoptive mother on earth for taking so long. I was so overwhelmed the first 6 months and besides, after 3 years of paperwork, I couldn't believe I wasn't done yet! I'm glad to know I wasn't the only one. You have more people to take care of than I do. My social worker was very kind and patient, never once making me feel like a bad mom.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post-49602976459736336852009-02-19T08:50:00.000-06:002009-02-19T08:50:00.000-06:00WOW! You have verbalized so many of my thoughts h...WOW! You have verbalized so many of my thoughts here. Thank you. We have yet to re-adopt due to the cost. It is a crazy system. I remember leaving the hospital after giving birth to I (and still dealing with post-adoption paperwork for O and S) and thinking, "Really? That's all I have to do? There's no more paperwork?" And don't even get me started on the fact that I's birth, a c-section, cost 300.00 for the whole thing. Can you imagine how many children would have homes if it cost only 300.00 to adopt?<BR/><BR/>Thank you.<BR/>PaulaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post-13323510599111170462009-02-18T23:17:00.000-06:002009-02-18T23:17:00.000-06:00Amen! Especially since once you get your child hom...Amen! Especially since once you get your child home you should be focusing on him/her rather than MORE paperwork at that point!Heidihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14852928197032856063noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post-22254785501504787302009-02-18T20:19:00.000-06:002009-02-18T20:19:00.000-06:00Never better said! I can't stand having to keep pr...Never better said! I can't stand having to keep proving we are "real" parents. Not that I REALLY wanna get into the whole "octuplet" debate; but in response to the controversy, there was some rhetoric out there where folks were calling for prospective parents who were seeking fertility treatments to complete applications to pretty much prove their "fitness as parents and financial ability to fulifill prental obligations". As a woman who happened to have sat in one of those awful doctors offices, then went through an Adoption Process, and is beginning a second Adoption Process... I have to say, I am quite frankly tired of folks asking those of us who cannot, or choose not to, build our families through (what others consider) "normal" methods to prove our "fitness" to parent. If this is the case, then why not ask every family to prove the same... when does this cross the line and become a form of discrimination????<BR/><BR/>Anywhoo... I digress... E, again you make a wonderful, thought provoking post! What a wonderful world it would be if this paperwork could be streamlined and we didn't have to keep validating our parental relationship/rights to the government who swears they protect us!<BR/><BR/>(Sorry if I am a little bitter today!) <BR/>Rebecca Holt BBAnthony and Rebeccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00316557391824554638noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post-46714079662259961932009-02-18T18:54:00.000-06:002009-02-18T18:54:00.000-06:00Yeah, isn't it interesting when people say, "Oh, i...Yeah, isn't it interesting when people say, "Oh, it will be easier if we just adopt." HA! I have a bio son, a daughter who was adopted, and a son who was adopted. I think it was easiest to have the bio son, even though we had to do fertility treatments to get pregnant and I threw up EVERY DAY of the pregnancy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25502633.post-29543915562699353122009-02-18T15:39:00.000-06:002009-02-18T15:39:00.000-06:00But then the system couldn't suck even more money ...But then the system couldn't suck even more money out of adoptive parents. What's the fun in that? <BR/><BR/>I have a good idea, Elizabeth. You run for President. I'll vote for you! I would love it if your ideas would take hold. I guess they make too much sense.<BR/><BR/>PS Can you tell I'm a little jaded with the system? LOLAnnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11120490995754307409noreply@blogger.com